The anchored putter ban controversy is big, but not so big that Taiwan Animation couldn’t devote 20 seconds to Tiger Woods dumping a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken on Sergio Garcia’s head. Way to make Tiger pitch black, Taiwan.

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Links

Sports On TV: Adventure Time’s 13 Greatest Sports Moments |With Leather|

Here’s The Soul Train/Daft Punk Mashup You’ve Been Waiting For |UPROXX|

Okay … But What If Pete Campbell Gets Eaten By A Bear? |Warming Glow|

Ryan Gosling’s Film Was Booed At Cannes |Film Drunk|

This Is A 1:1 Scale Model X-Wing. Built Out Of Legos. |Gamma Squad|

Morgan Freeman Goes For A Nap During Live Interview, Confirms Awesomeness |Smoking Section|

Even Chuck Norris Thinks The Jaguars Should Sign Tim Tebow |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Mathematical!

This week, Sports On TV covers the greatest sports moments of the best cartoon on television, Cartoon Network’s ‘Adventure Time.’ If you aren’t familiar with the show, it follows the various quests and activities of a human boy and his dog as they live and fight monsters in the Land of Ooo, a post-apocalyptic Earth full of candy people, inter-dimensional vampire demons, anus-obsessed ghosts and every D&D joke imaginable. It’s a show you either love from the moment you give it a shot, or spend the rest of your life side-eying. Hopefully you’re in the first group.

Be sure to check out the moments and the other Sports On TV columns after the jump, and don’t miss the Peppermint Butler commenting badge we’re giving you for sharing our list around and dropping a comment. Do that, and you’re tops blooby.

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At the 1997 Masters Tournament, as a then-21-year old Tiger Woods was about to finish an incredible 12-shot victory, then-45-year old Fuzzy Zoeller created one of golf’s strangest rivalries when he told a reporter:

“That little boy is driving it well, and he’s putting well. He’s doing everything it takes to win. So you know what you guys do when he gets in here? You pat him on the back and say, ‘Congratulations’ and ‘Enjoy it.’ And tell him not to serve fried chicken next year. Got it? Or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve.”

And the people at home watching let out a collective, “Hoo boy, that’s racist.” Well, 16 years later, it seems that Sergio Garcia “forgot” about ol’ Fuzzy’s faux pas and borrowed the joke at a European Tour event last night, when asked whether or not he’d have Woods over for dinner before the U.S. Open next month.

“We’ll have him round every night. We will serve fried chicken.”

Naturally, the apology has already been issued.

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Back in July of 2011, we posted a video of Spanish golfer Miguel Angel Jimenez’s borderline erotic, hypnotically fascinating warm-up routine. It wasn’t a viral smash (nobody “did the Miguel Angel Jimenez” for a week or anything) but it was a wonderful piece of film to watch. Guy is basically touching his junk to the ground in a squat, playing a sport and smoking a cigar at the same time. Just wonderful.

Now, thanks to some forward-thinking gent at Golf Monthly, comes a head-on look at The Miguel Angel Jimenez, explained from the mouth of the man himself. He does his golf yoga, his “little dancing move” and practically jams a golf club up his ass, and yes, he starts off the clip with a cigar in his hand. If there are three things Miguel Angel Jimenez loves, it’s (1) golf (2) smoking (3) EXTREME LIMBERNESS.

Video is after the jump, if you dare.

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Meet … uh, This Guy. He just sank the putt of the year.

We don’t have a lot of information about him. He’s not in a golf boy band, he’s not taking sides in the oncoming war between golf pants and shorts and he hasn’t done battle with any three-legged alligators. He’s just a man skilled enough to sink a multi-direction putt from the top of a staircase on somebody else’s time.

Behold, the golf majesty of This Guy.

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You know what f**king sucks? Wearing pants. Especially when you’re trying to golf.

If Johnson Wagner wants to wag his Johnson while he’s playing, who am I to stand in his way? That’s what the fine men and I’m assuming additional men over at Ashworth golf apparel think, and they’ve issued a “Pants Petition” asking the PGA to allow golfers the right to wear shorts. An actual petition. Golf pros Retief Goosen, Justin Rose, Sean O’Hair and Justin Leonard have thrown in to help the petition make a difference, because the only thing preventing a normal man from golf greatness is lower-leg coverage.

Sure, I can hear some of you now. “If we let golfers golf in shorts, what’s next? Golfing in their underwear? WHAT’S STOPPING SOMEONE FROM TRYING TO PLAY ON THE PGA TOUR WITH THEIR DOG??” You’re on the wrong side of history, folks. In 40 years when only the most regressive squares wear slacks on the links, you’re gonna look back and think “man, I should’ve signed that Internet petition.” I promise you will think that.

[h/t to Sportress]