Pro golfer and former jailbait Michelle Wie finally won her first LPGA event yesterday. Wie finished at 13 under par in the Lorena Ochoa Invitational in Guadalajara, Mexico yesterday. Wow, what a relief. Now she can follow through with her continuing threats to jump to NASCAR. Wait a second; I’m thinking of somebody else.
She held firm [on Sunday's back nine] with five straight pars, however, before sealing the victory in style on the last, a 30-yard bunker shot landing a foot from the hole for a tap-in birdie.
“I was just focusing on just not hitting anyone in the crowd,” said Wie when asked about the winning shot. –The Telegraph (UK)
That must be why I’m so terrible in golf–I never have any crowd to avoid. Golf really is a pointless game. It’s like NASCAR, but totally different. Instead of driving in a smaller circle 200 times, you just do one big lap in golf. It’s like Lord of the Rings but without all the boring nerdy stuff. Plus, in golf, you can pee in the woods. How do you put a price on that?
The annual average temperature in Tokyo is 61 degrees Fahrenheit, but that doesn’t seem to stop anyone from trotting out bikini-clad ladies to the golf course on overcast days. Oh wait, she’s wearing leg warmers, so never mind. Yeah, it’s really important to take the clubhead back low and slow, and then just rip it back into that same groove. And then follow through. Just remember that if you get mud on your balls, you can’t wipe it off, or else it’ll cost you a stroke. Yeah, I was still talking about golf.
I’m somewhat amazed that after they’ve built all the world’s electronic goods and groped everyone on the subway on the way home from work, they still have time to play golf. But time and space are scarce in Japan, so why not keep all of one’s golf equipment in women’s clothing? Yeah, I couldn’t think of a reason, either.
So I guess it’s a…oh, what do you call those things that go all the way around the torso and hold up the jugs…a corset? So you take this corset off and it turns into a golf mat–complete with putting cups. Young Asian lady, presumably, is not included. Watch video of this piece of functional couture after the jump. And that “Be Quiet” flag? Never a terrible suggestion for topless women. Read the rest of this entry »
I guess this video has been around for some time, but if I haven’t seen it, it’s new to me.
It needs a minimum amount of setup, but here goes: during a practice round or something, golf goddess Natalie Gulbis bets her caddy five bucks she can hit a friend of hers taking a nap in the empty stands. Hilarity ensues, although I can think of much better ways in which I would like Natalie to get me up.
You know, with a few sprays of rose water to lift me from my slumber followed by a nice cup of Earl Gray tea. I assume what I just wrote could be twisted into meaning something sexual in nature, but I checked and couldn’t find anything on Urban Dictionary. Usually they’re all over that.
[H/T Devil Ball Golf]
Anthony Kim, at age 24, is grabbing life by the Titleists. He’s ranked among the top 50 golfers in the world. He has earned, in my opinion, to do whatever he wants, as people that enjoy his level of success can (and should) do. But none of this really matters to Aussie Robert Allenby, who apparently is in bed by nine every night and only kisses women on the mouth with no tongue. Prude.
“Maybe we should all take the theory of Anthony Kim,” Allenby said. “Get home at 4 o’clock (in the morning) and then go shoot 6 under.”
Asked if his comments were on the record, Allenby said, “I don’t care. Ask his playing partners. Ask his team. He is the loosest cannon in that team.”
Allenby went on to call the 24-year-old Kim golf’s “current John Daly.” via, via.
Dick. And he’s jumping the gun just a smidge. John Daly has battled his desire for alcohol, gambling and women for years, and failed miserably. Kim got drunk for one night. Allegedly. And while Kim may not enjoy the anonymity that some of us had in accumulating “life experience,” he’s still free to do so at his own peril. After all, waking up face down in a gutter with your pants around your ankles with no recollection of the last ten hours is a part of life. Pants are overrated, anyway.
The International Olympic Committee voted on Friday to reinstate golf and rugby as Olympic events and the two sports will make their return in the 2016 Olympics in Rio di Janeiro. Golf was approved 63-27 and rugby was voted in 81-8, a reversal of when the IOC voted four years ago to not allow golf and rugby in the 2012 Olympic Games. Suck on that, Chicago!
Several members of the IOC were upset how golf and rugby were essentially rammed down their throats by the executive board, specifically Canadian representative Dick Pound.
The selection process angered some IOC members, who wanted all seven sports put to a vote by the entire assembly. Senior Canadian member Dick Pound complained before the vote that the members were never told why the two sports were selected over the other five.
“It is not fair to the other five sports,” Pound said. “Because you decided the way you did, it is not a transparent process.”
Heh. Dick Pound. I wish that was my name. Do you think he actually is proud of it? Is it possible that he has partnered up with Dick Armey to lead a secret society of Dicks?
Rugby was last included as an Olympic event in 1924 and the last time golf was included in the Olympics was at the 1904 Olympics in St. Louis.
Golf will stage a 72-hole stroke-play tournament for men and women, with 60 players in each field. Rugby will organize a four-day seven-a-side tournament - instead of the more traditional 15-a-side game - for 12 men’s and women’s teams. Golf will stage a 72-hole stroke-play tournament for men and women, with 60 players in each field. via.
That all sounds well and good, but there is only one problem: Rio has only two golf courses, and my guess is they aren’t in the condition that world-class golfers have grown accustomed to. So good luck with all that, Rio. My guess is they have about a good a chance at working out this clusterbang as I do understanding what in the hell is going on in a game of rubgy. Seriously, I’ve tried many times and I’m still lost. Granted, I find the rules of Twister confusing. It doesn’t help that I’m colorblind, but still.
