This Week In Horrible-Looking People: 51 Random, Amazing WWE Promo Photos

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.22.13


WWE promo photos

Please allow United States President George Washington “Linda” McMahon to usher you into the latest in our series of embarrassing pro wrestler 8×10 treasuries, now helpfully categorized as “This Week In Horrible-Looking People.”

If you’ve missed any of our previous galleries, be sure to check out the cheesy late-80s/early-90s WWF promo photos, the extremely 1990s photos of Extreme Championship Wrestling and parts 1 and 2 of our vintage WCW promo run. Believe it or not, there are still about a thousand embarrassing pictures of wrestlers that were printed into stacks of 8x10s with the intention of them being signed and handed to strangers. Wrestling is weird.

So for the first installment of our infinite new series, please enjoy 51 of my favorite random, amazing WWE promo photos from the 90s, 2000s and today. Warning: a veiny John Cena is inside.

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If You Haven’t Heard, I’m Making A Horror Movie, And This Guy’s Going To Be In It

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.27.13

Goldust horror movie Meet Me There

I’ve bugged the readers of the Best and Worst of WWE Raw column about this a couple of times now, but “Brandon’s dreams are coming true” is big enough news to share on the main page proper, so here we are. We’re making a movie.

When I say we, I mean me (I wrote the thing, and it is surprisingly low on wrestling jokes) and Lex Lybrand. Lex was nice enough to put in me in a variety of host and duck-related roles in his first film, Summer League, and now he’s taking my words about blood, guts, sexual dysfunction and rural Oklahoma and is turning it into something pretty, and pretty scary. It’s called Meet Me There. It is heavy.

The other thing worth noting here is the ridiculous cast of talented people who have thrown in on the project. As you probably gathered from the header image, we cast Dustin Runnels, aka WWE’s Goldust, in a choice supporting role. Jill Thompson, a woman who has done everything from draw Wonder Woman and Swamp Thing comics to designing gear for the best pro wrestler in the world, is not only doing the art for our poster, she’s appearing in a role. Our lead actress, Lisa Friedrich, teaches comedy at a theater in Houston and is that combination of talented and gorgeous you kinda have to see in motion. Austin’s Megan Simon (who is amazing) is recording creepy hymns, and we’ll have everything from site friends The Wonder Years and Cleveland-area band Nights on the soundtrack. Yes, I am absolutely the least talented person involved in this.

To help promote the thing (and our fundraiser, which raised a quarter of our goal in its first week) we put together a little video explaining the film and why we want to make it, and you can check that out after the jump. If you’ve read about this in the column, this is totally new, so be sure to click through.

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The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 3/18/13: Rufus ‘Pancake’ Patterson, Episode One

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.19.13

Rufus Pancake Patterson

Pre-show notes:

- Things you should read from the last week of posts at The Mandible Claw include the thing I wrote about Donald Trump’s “appearance” on the Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling and an hour of me and Danielle talking to ACW and National Pro Wrestling Day star Jojo Bravo. Also, everything else on the site. You should check it out daily.

- Comments, shares, likes, and anything else that gets people to come here are appreciated. There’s some important stuff on the next page, so be sure not to skim it, and to make everyone you know on the Internet and in real life read it. Also, the jokes.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- GIFS courtesy of Jerusalem at Punchsport Pagoda.

- We’re doing some fun stuff over at The Mandible Claw, so be sure to head over there when you’re done with the report and check some stuff out.

And now, Raw goes REGULAR SCHOOL! The Best and Worst of WWE Raw for March 11, 2013, is after the jump.

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The Best And Worst Of WWE Royal Rumble 2013

Written by Brandon Stroud / 01.28.13

WWE Royal Rumble 2013

I stopped watching the show here. What a great night for everyone!

Pre-show notes:

- Comments, shares, likes, and especially Reddit submissions/up votes are appreciated. Pay-per-view reports take just as much time as Raw reports and get like, half the feedback, so help a brother out.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- Pics and GIFs courtesy of the wonderful Casey, aka THESTINGER. Come to National Pro Wrestling Day with us and give him a high-five for his time.

- I’m trying out the commenting badges on this report, so SHARE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SHARED BEFORE, FRIENDS.

And now, please enjoy the Best and Worst of WWE Royal Rumble 2013, a thing that happened.

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The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 12/12: Slammy Award Losing Edition

Written by Brandon Stroud / 12.13.11

john-laurinaitis-rey-mysterio-wwe-raw-slammys

Pre-show notes:

- Hey, you, person reading this column. Register and leave us a comment. When you’ve done that (or possibly before), click that “like” button over the banner image and/or share this with everyone you have ever met, including your half-siblings and that one weird guy at work who found out you like wrestling and won’t stop trying to ask you about it. He’d love this column.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- SITE NEWS #1: We’re going to be running a TLC predictions contest on Friday where you can drop a comment and win $250 bucks. It didn’t work out so well for us with Vengeance (thanks a lot, Mark Henry breaking the ring) but I’ve got to give that purse to somebody. Be sure to check back throughout the week for that.

- SITE NEWS #2: Next weekend is my girlfriend Destiny’s birthday, so I’m not going to be around for TLC or Raw reports. Thankfully I’ve got a lot of funny ass friends, so SB Nation and Baseball Feelings writer Bill Hanstock will be filling in with a Best and Worst of WWE TLC 2011 report and Progressive Boink and The Best and Worst of Smackdown Live-Blog’s own Justin O’Connor will be filling in on Best and Worst of Raw. They’re awesome, so read those and support them.

- All internal gifs are courtesy of Jerusalem at Punchsport Pagoda.

- For further Raw reading, please consult UGO’s The Good The Bad And The Ugly and John Canton’s The WWE Raw Deal. They have slightly more positive outlooks on the show than me, but my report has pictures of A.J. (read mine first)

This show was three hours and killed me four minutes in, so I apologize in advance. Click through to enjoy The Best And Worst Of The Slammy Awards.

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The Best And Worst Of WWE Smackdown 11/29 Live-Blog

Written by Brandon Stroud / 11.29.11

smackdown-liveblog-11-29-justin-oconnor

Wait, already?

It seems like just yesterday we were wasting two hours making jokes about the Golden Corral Chocolate Wonderfall and here we are again. WWE is switching up their normal “tape Tuesday, let everybody read what happened Wednesday and Thursday, air the show Friday” schedule and airing Smackdown live on Tuesday night. Man, we haven’t even gotten to Raw yet.

Anyway, Destiny will be at school while this is on so my good friend Justin O’Connor of Progressive Boink fame will be sitting in as my co-host. That guarantees 100% less Chocolate Wonderfall discussion and 100% more of me letting him type whatever he wants because he’s hilarious. If you’re watching the show, have to miss it and want to keep tabs on what’s going on or just want to shoot the sh*t with some folks that love pro graps, be sure to give yourself the little CoverItLive e-mail reminder and be back here Tuesday night at 8 PM EST for the festivities.

And in case you were wondering, yes, you can stick anything into the Chocolate Wonderfall.

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