We don’t often get to talk about art around these parts, and that’s a shame, because I like to fancy myself one classy son of a female dog. After all, I’ve used the bathroom at the Louvre. And speaking of bathrooms and art, a Taiwanese art student recently answered the age old question: “Is urinating considered art?” The answer? You bet your golden showers it is.
While going to the bathroom one day, Wong Tin Chuen noticed some blood in his urine. While that would make me scream like a battered child, Cheun thought to himself, “Hey, that looks a little like Iron Man’s helmet!” So did Cheun go to the hospital to have his abdominal pains, dehydration and bloody urine examined? Of course not. He went shopping for a new toilet.
He took about two months to find a toilet bowl with a similar oblong shape to the outline of Iron Man’s face. Then he was eating edible pigmentation and successfully produced red, black and green urine. He arranged the colored urine to make it look like the character, and used his saliva to create foam for touching up. He needed to keep adding spit to his work while waiting for the judges to get to him during the contest. And of course, his artwork had produced a foul odor at the exhibition. (M.I.C. Gadget via a delightful attempt by Google to translate the China Times)
“Why on Earth would he do this,” asked every sane person who doesn’t possess a predilection to play with his own urine. Because Cheun won $400,000 for his new “blood urine” art…
Over the weekend, while we were busy with more important things like Tiger Woods’ knee, Peyton Manning’s jet and Dwight Howard’s flip flops, people were gathering in major cities across the globe to help preserve a better future for our billionaire athletes and us to live in. On Saturday, hipsters galore shed their clothes for the World Naked Bike Ride to raise awareness for various global issues, including oil and fossil fuel dependency, traffic safety and, of course, stone cold nudity.
So what better way for cyclists to tell drivers they’re fed up with being struck and killed in traffic than by risking their droops and sags being caught in spokes and chains? At least that’s what more than 300 people in Peru did, as they brought awareness to the 3,000 cyclists who were killed in Peru in 2009. And all 9 of the New Zealanders who rode for clean air. Come on, New Zealand, you’re better than that.
Anyway, this was one rabbit hole of pictures I was not prepared for. Maybe next year I’ll join in ride to raise awareness that nobody wants to see a bunch of old hippies’ penises. Until then, enjoy some SFW highlights from around the world.
Alison Brie And Danny Pudi Perform ‘Everybody Dance Now’ To Close Out ‘Community’ Season 3 Filming - Between this, the faux-Santa Baby thing and Trudy Campbell’s Charleston, Alison Brie is my favorite dancer. Sorry, Jabbazwockee. [UPROXX]
Chris Brown Has A New Pickup Line Sure To Make All The Ladies Melt - I also would’ve accepted, “my dancing looks mostly stupid but people say it’s cool, so date me or I’ll literally murder you”. [UPROXX]
Chris Brown Vs. Seagulls - I can’t wait for him to start abusing animals so people can be all, “what’s the big deal why don’t you forgive him??” [Buzzfeed]
7 Attractive People Landed Pilots This Week, Let’s Rank Them by Aesthetic Value - Worst part about the new Warming Glow — whatever aesthetic makes them decide Kate Moennig is less attractive than Kumar. [Warming Glow]
5 Things Tim Schafer Needs to do To Make His Fan-Funded Adventure Game Truly Great - Thing 6 – Change the name of it to ‘Lufia and the’ something something. Thing 7 – straight up Lufia game. [Gamma Squad]
7 WTF Endorsement Deals Featuring Rappers - If you like Beats By Dre, you’ll love being beaten by Chris Brown! etc. [Smoking Section]
Frotcast 87: ‘Ask a Porn Guy’ w/Seymore Butts, Lindy West vs. Penn Jillette - Again, is Shane from Shane’s World still alive, and if so, would she consider staying in my guest room for a few months? [Film Drunk]
Bill Oakley Tweets Top 10 ‘Simpsons’ Episode Pitches That Never Made It To Air For 500th Episode - “Homer gets a job as a ____. Is worried that he and Marge may get divorced. Accidentally hurts himself!” has been the plot of every episode since like, 200. [HuffPost Comedy]
TMZ asks the question of our time. Emma Stone or Rooney Mara who would you rather? - Mara, but only if she was Dragon Tattoo’d up. Emma Stone is pretty, but too Modern Drew Barrymore Faced for my tastes. [FARK]
Hipster Cat Is the Only Dubstep DJ You’ll Ever Need - Wait, now HIPSTERS listen to dubstep? Get your broad generalizations in order, Internet. [The FW]
Capes? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Capes! The Best Superhero Movies Not Based On A Comic Book (Or Other Source Material) - I like Unbreakable so much it justified me seeing at least three terrible M. Night Shyamalan movies in a row. The Last Airbender was the last straw. See you in Hell, M. Night. [Pajiba]
Watch the Trailer for ‘Marley,’ Kevin Macdonald’s Documentary About Bob Marley - Spoiler alert: Marley dies at the end. Wait, are we talking about the same movie? [Brobible|Alison Brie And Danny Pudi Perform ‘Everybody Dance Now’ To Close Out ‘Community’ Season 3 Filming |UPROXX]
LeBron James Jumps Over John Lucas For The Dunk - LeBron James Does Cool Thing, News At Eleven. Has he stopped being all LeBron James about it yet? [Smoking Section]
Six Things the 3DS Needs to Deliver to Become as Great as the Original DS - 1. Nintendo coming up with some games that aren’t Mario/Zelda/Metroid/Donkey Kong/Party/Kart related. 2. That is all. [Gamma Squad]
‘Jeff Who Lives at Home’ Nails Every Indie Dramedy Trailer Cliche (with side-by-sides) - My movie should go into production sometime this year, and I’m using this post as a guide for making the trailer not look like a piece of sh*t. Thanks, FilmDrunk! [Film Drunk]
Jennifer Love Hewitt Strips for Her Hooker Mom Show - … but not really. This would be the greatest thing to happen to me since I went on vacation and came back to naked Anne Hathaway in Havoc screencaps if it was a real thing. [Warming Glow]
Meme Watch: It’s About Time We Gave ‘Forever Resentful Mother’ Her Own Feature - I’m glad my Mom never did anything meme-worthy. Also, pretty happy that I didn’t have the Internet until I was old enough to be weird about my parents on it. [UPROXX]
Snoop Dogg Is A National Treasure - Getting started on that “Dr. Dre steals the U.S. Constitution” script as soon as possible. [UPROXX]
Call Your Bookies: We’re Breaking Down Super Bowl XLVI’s Prop Bets - Worth it for all the pictures of pre-post-pre-Crisis Kelly Clarkson. Your December was terrible, but your September-November was pretty great. [With Leather]
The Naked Daniel Tosh Supercut Is The Nakedest Supercut - My girlfriend loves Tosh.0, but wishes he’d stop being naked and showing gross-out videos all the time. All I can think is “why the f**k do you like Tosh.0, then”. [Buzzfeed]
The Funniest Animal Photobombs Of All Time - Needs more boing sound effects. [HuffPost Comedy]
Disney Princesses Reimagined As Hipsters - And yes, I would try to hook up with every single one of them. Hipster Snow White ftw. [The FW]
The 9 Most Unfairly Typecast Animals - Poor pit bulls, you are the Henry Pollard of the animal kingdom. [FARK]
We like to joke around a lot about how pathetic and obviously fake the marriage between eventual NBA free agent Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian was, but the humor goes a long way to cover up the same anger and contempt that we all share for the way these fake celebrities manipulate this country’s TV zombie audience, how it led to a colossal payday for the Kardashian Klan, and how Kim has the last laugh after only 72 days of marriage.
Yesterday, the Twitterverse erupted in an amazing response to the divorce of Humphries and Kardashian, starting with comedian Rob Delaney’s hilarious lawsuit threat and culminating with the gay community vilifying Kardashian’s greed in terrible economic times and her indifference to the people who are legally unable to treat the institution of marriage with respect. While that’s all fine and dandy, I just wanted people to pile on and make fun of these spectacular fame whore losers until the weight completely crushed this empire.
Thankfully, someone came through. Some wonderful person posted an ad on Craigslist yesterday for a public vigil to mourn this divorce. And you bet your ass people showed up and made this one of the most spectacular moments of the year.
The best game ever. I hope you’re just a high-def remake of San Andreas, GTA 5.
Grand Theft Auto 5 Trailer Announced - AY CESAR, THE YAY LEAVIN’ SAN FIERRO, RIGHT. Right, but they’re using bikes, CJ, and they go cross country! [Gamma Squad]
The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 10/24 Live From Austin, Texas - I know I know, it’s the post below this one, but our new commenting system has severely limited the number of times an anonymous person can comment with “john cena gay”, so we need you to head down there and read it and talk to us about it. Us meaning me. [With Leather]
The Best And Worst Of WWE Vengeance 2011 - But wait! Before you do that, read Monday’s report about Sunday night’s show. The ring collapsed and Jerry Lawler said he’d never seen anything like it, except when it happened previously. [With Leather]
Bring ACH To Beyond Wrestling - If you live on the East Coast, love pro wrestling (or want it to be better than it is) and have a few extra bucks, donate to the cause of bringing one of the best young wrestlers in the world to where you can see him perform. ACH is the f**king bomb, and should be a TV millionaire already. [Indie Gogo]
This Week in Posters: Twilight, Muppets, and Diagonals Oh My! -Puss In Boots would be so much more appealing if it was called LE CHAT POTTE over here. That’s also what I call my drug-humor AOL parody. [Film Drunk]
The 1992 Dream Team In Action (Figures) - Pretty sure the most heterosexual thing about me is how much I love the 1992 Dream Team. [Smoking Section]
First Look At Scarlett Johansson As An Alien - I was really excited when I clicked this, but it turns out the “alien” is just “Scarlett Johansson not looking as good as she usually does because of bad clothes and a worse wig”. Good job with your alien movie, guys. [Gamma Squad]
More Halloween Episodes, Please - The genre peaked with ‘Roseanne’ and ‘Martin’, but I’m willing to accept new works in the medium. [Warming Glow]
Fully Functional Nikon Camera Halloween Costume - Pretty cool, and guaranteed to be talked about almost as much as the one hot girl who just wore underwear outdoors and didn’t even buy cat ears. [Buzzfeed
The 18 Worst Wide-Release Opening Weekends of 2011 - Most of these aren't a surprise, and if you supported Judy Moody or her Not Bummer Summer you're a bad person. The climax of that movie is someone eating a poop sandwich. [Moviefone]
Which of These Five Hollywood Subjects Sold Out the Hardest? - I always thought that if someone can refer to you as a “Hollywood subject”, you’re already sold out. [Pajiba]
87 Year-Old Man Arrested with 228 Pounds of Cocaine - Now let’s flash back to when he was a young man and find out how he got here! [The Daily What]
Censored Zelda Will Make You Laugh Against Your Will - The title is right. I hate fake censoring jokes, but even I laughed when Zelda called that guy a f**k. [Unreality]
The Gentlemen’s Rant: Hipsters - Someone put this site out of its misery. If you like Tim Allen on TV in 2011 style “everyone who isn’t fat and boring and middle-American like me is wrong” humor, you’ll love this. Attention “average guys tellin’ it like it is” — you are the least funny people in the world. [NextRound]