Vintage Promos is a series looking back at the best, worst and most memorable pro wrestling interviews of all time. It previously appeared on AOL FanHouse.
When I was a kid, I was terrified of The Rapture.
Sure, now that I’m an adult, I can see the endless string of End Of The World comedies and laugh, but when I was five years old and surrounded by Aunts who were sure Jesus would be back in the next five years and wouldn’t stop telling me about it, I was terrified. I’d stay up late at night, staring out of my window, waiting for the trumpets to sound and Jesus to appear on a horse somewhere up in the clouds. I was mad that my life was going to be over at five, but hey, Heaven is supposed to be the best imaginable thing, right? I kept telling myself that, and my brain would find its way back to, “oh my God, I’m never going to get to grow up. My life’s going to be over before it starts.”
I was afraid of the Antichrist, and what he’d do to the world. In the late 90s, I finally met him. Turns out he’s hilarious.