Out here, you’re tested. You face an opponent experts say can’t be beat. You fight. You bleed. You prevail. Our country’s down, but we’re not out. To come back, we need a leader with a proven record, not just rhetoric. Tim Pawlenty took on The Unions and won. He shut down a government and won. He took “Miracle on Ice” footage from the 1980 Winter Olympics and added it to his Presidential campaign ads without asking anyone’s permission and … well, okay, so that didn’t turn out so great.

From the Des Moines Register:

ABC Sports may slap presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty with a cease-and-desist letter for improperly using its footage in a political advertisement, a company official told The Des Moines Register today.

“It’s a violation of our copyright and exclusive proprietary rights,” said Louise Argianas, director of rights and clearances for ABC Sports.

The struggling Pawlenty campaign launched “The American Comeback,” a television commercial with a down-but-not-out theme, in Iowa on Wednesday.

America needs a leader who doesn’t understand basic laws. You’ve got to love that we’ve come so far with the “Obama is a socialist” thing that now he’s just blatantly being called an evil Russian from the 80s. Brigitte Nielsen should start following him around. Pawlenty’s big comeback doesn’t look like it’s going to work, so maybe next time politicians will stick to depicting children being murdered by nuclear holocaust and leave our precious sports history alone. I hope this ad was taped on the same VHS Pawlenty used to record himself pulling sweet lightsaber moves.

In a related story, President Barack Obama is prepping a campaign ad using footage of the O.J. Simpson Bronco chase. Hundreds of white guys relentlessly chase a black guy, and by the time they catch him nothing has been accomplished.

[h/t Puck Daddy]

If there’s one thing America does well, it’s kicking ass. The other thing we do well? Kicking ass when revenge is on the line. In this case, today is the 38th anniversary of the biggest screw job in sports history, as the U.S. men’s basketball team was robbed of the gold medal at the 1972 Summer Olympics when terrible officiating gave Russia a 51-50 win. As a result, the U.S. players refused to accept their silver medals, but it cemented our country’s status as the most beloved in the world forever*.

Earlier this week, Russian coach David Blatt twisted the icy sickle of commie pinko memories when he told reporters that he sincerely believes there was no screw job and Russia wholeheartedly deserved that gold medal. Whatever you say, Boris. Better get back in line for bread and toilet paper, because Team USA sprayed glasnost all over Blatt’s face this afternoon with an 89-79 win over Russia. Leading the way on the court was Kevin Durant, but it was Mike Krzyzewski who provided the real weapons in this cold war.

Make Lenin spin in his embalmed grave with some video after the jump, Coach K:

Read the rest of this entry »

A pair of Russian ice dancers have been causing a stir after unveiling a program that pays “tribute” to aborigines of Australia. G’day, mate! But now people are even more pissed since Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin used the routine to take the lead in the European Figure Skating Championships.

The program has also sparked controversy since its debut three weeks ago in St. Petersburg, Russia. Australian media on Thursday cited aboriginal leaders as complaining that the routine contained inauthentic steps and gaudy costumes.

Shabalin later said that although neither of them have been to Australia, they aimed for authenticity by doing research on the internet. –Y! News

Their internet viewing probably consisted of Kevin Bacon’s The Air Up There and that one movie where Richard Dreyfuss makes up a completely fake African tribe. I think it was African. Well, none of them were wearing shirts, anyway. But honestly, anyone that thinks America has racism issues needs to spend a few weeks in Europe. They only reason they don’t have a Klan over there is because Chanel doesn’t make hoods and they’re all afraid of fire.

Here’s one of those videos where hours and hours home alone seem to pay off in internet immortality. Seriously, if we couldn’t have won the cold war against these clowns, we’d all be doing this right now. If you’re just coming back from lunch, you might want to sit this one out, because the thing with the arms isn’t exactly the kind of thing you do…well, ever. And then after that, it gets a little strange.

A Russian arm wrestler was disqualified from a European tournament after he sent a lookalike to his weigh-in in an attempt to move to a lower weight class.

Arsen Liliev tried to enter the 154-pound weight class at the European championships being held in Lycksele, northern Sweden, but weighed 4.4 pounds too much, said Andreas Johansson, chairman of the Swedish Armsport Association… Liliev decided to try again, but this time he sent a "lookalike" to replace him at the weigh-in, Johansson said. The impostor… passed the weight control, but officials discovered the fraud before the competition started.

"They resemble each other but it didn't work," Johansson said.

Mmmm… Johansson.  That's how I ended up the chairman of my Handsport Association.  It's a little different from Armsport.  You kind of compete against yourself. 

Ali Williams, the New Zealand All Black whose jaw was discourteously broken by French rogue Sebastien Chabal last week, underwent surgery to have his jaw wired shut and is now — as foreign- and hot-sounding Winifred pointed out — accepting fan submissions for soup recipes.

"I'm finding it a bit tricky, I'm going to have to keep it going somehow," he said in a video on the All Blacks' website. "The only thing that can keep me going is by eating soup, or sucking soup."

Well, there's good news for Ali:  You don't have to eat meat! I've got enough gazpacho for everyone… It's tomato soup, served ice cold! Hey, why is everyone laughing?