At halftime of the Washington Huskies’ evisceration this weekend, the USC Song Girls celebrated their 40th anniversary by having the Song Girls of generations past join the current squad for, uh, whatever the Song Girls do. Sashaying and pom-shaking and whatnot. The results were… mixed.
Even though Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick revolutionized the sports news show format in the early 1990s, they’ve done little else since then, except act like they could apply their alleged Midas touch elsewhere in the world. Patrick took the most boring show on ESPN radio and tried to syndicate it, with predictably unimpressive results. And then there’s Olbermann, who was so damn worried about getting shot in Denver that he threatened to quit without additional security.
From the New York Post, via Ben Maller:
Olbermann – upset to be anchoring at the Democratic National Convention from an outdoor set near Denver’s train station – “announced that his bosses [had] better find a more secure location for him to broadcast from at the Republican National Convention [in St. Paul, Minn.] or he’s not going,” one insider said. “He thinks someone will assassinate him.” MSNBC had no comment.
…Even before he left New York, the biggest mouth at MSNBC was worried about his safety. When a car was late to take him to the airport, Olbermann threatened via e-mail to stay home, another insider told Page Six. The blowhard whined to producers, “I could have been attacked on the street.”
…Connie Chung, a former news star of both MSNBC and CBS, told The Wall Street Journal yesterday, “They have to just grow up.”
Whoa there, Connie Chung. We didn’t schedule a guest lecture for today. And you should know, homegirl, not that you’ve been remotely relevant since 1994. Hey, Connie, here comes your husband with a legal-sized manila envelope. Uh oh, this can’t be good.
Super-robot tipster Rodimus Prime sent in this SportsCenter commercial from 1995 (?) that shows Roger Clemens attacking Jack Edwards after Edwards claims that the Rocket has lost a little off his fastball.
I don't know what's a stranger sight to re-live: Clemens in a Red Sox uniform, or Keith Olbermann at ESPN. Or Keith Olbermann without his smug sense of self-satisfaction.
Special Bonus Hatred! Sports by Brooks notes that Clemens's speech to Texas high schoolers (titled "My vigorous workout, how I played so long in professional baseball") has been canceled.
Here's Keith Olbermann's second edition of his "Worst Person in the NFL" bit on the Sunday Night Football telecast. My feelings? Eh. I don't like or dislike Olbermann. I guess he's supposed to be controversial or a pot-stirrer or something, but whatever. You want the pot stirred? Hire ME, baby. You ever seen a cock on live TV? Now that would be controversial.
Anyway, I'm with Awful Announcing on this one: why can't they just break down the first half? Is that too much to ask? And why can't I get a good burrito in New York? Is that also too much to ask?
Former SportsCenter anchor-turned-media pundit Keith Olbermann is the target of this "missed connection" Craigslist ad, the only w4m ad in Chicago not intended for dark and mysterious With Leather reader Brian. Here it is, unedited and in its entirety:
oh baby, you are in my city this fine day, doing the thing you do best. and i wanna be with you. that's right, i do. i want to put my fingers through your salt and pepper hair and pick your nimble brain all. night. long. i'd take off those glasses and show you what it is like to be a man, yes i would. and i'd use that sharp tongue in the best possible way: to get a smart, witty analysis on lobbyist contributions, unity governments and the bush administration. let's curl up on the couch and watch bill o'reilly together and laugh and laugh. let's hang out with dan patrick. let's make our OWN special commentary. if you know what i mean. i wanna see your alex gordon rookie card. whip it out for me. please baby, i will treat you right.
I'm not an expert — only the world's third most experienced lover — but I think Alex Gordon's rookie card is some kind metaphor for something. Hey, wait a sec. She's going to show him what it's like to be a man??? Keith, just between you and me, don't respond to that ad. This gal may have an Alex Gordon rookie card of her own. Whatever that means. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
Thanks goes to hunky WL reader Rick of The Coming, who sends this fun little clip from Keith Olbermann's "Countdown" two nights ago:
Yes, look it up, America. Lots of fun to be had with that one.
