In one of the better “Boys will be boys” stories of this early sports year, New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony reportedly took offense to something that Boston Celtics forward Kevin Garnett said to him during Boston’s 102-96 victory on Monday night. According to various websites, Garnett supposedly told Anthony that his wife and decision-maker, La La Vasquez-Anthony, “tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios”. Honestly, I don’t really know how that’s an insult, because it mostly just reminds me of Patrice O’Neal’s birthday cake joke (watch “Elephant in the Room” if you’re unfamiliar).

Now, if I had to guess, Garnett has never had sex with Anthony’s wife. Maybe he has, and therefore is qualified to make such a statement, but this is probably just an example of what the kids call “trash talk”. However, some people believe that this sort of trash talk crosses a line, including Anthony, who waited for Garnett by the Celtics team bus so they could settle this like men. After all, you can take the millionaire professional athlete out of Brooklyn, but you can’t take the Brooklyn out of the corporate product spokesperson.

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Between the arrest of former University of Nebraska womens basketball player Charlie Rogers and the sexual misconduct accusations at the Paralympics, I think we could all use some happy news right now. Plus, I have my first fantasy football draft tonight so my attention is beginning its descent into Don’t Give A Crapsville’s private airport. Fortunately, in my morning web browsing, I came across the perfect site for all of us.

“F*ck Yeah Celebs Holding Koalas” doesn’t need much of a background, as it’s basically a Tumblr site dedicated to famous people holding my favorite animal (aside from my dog, natch) – the koala bear. Mostly, the site features members of bands that teenage girls love, but I checked and Simple Plan unfortunately never recorded a rad pop punk song about hanging with a koala before missing you, girl.

In between Family Force 5 and the dude from Tokio Hotel who has probably confused a ton of teenage boys, though, are some of our favorite pro wrestlers, a tennis star, and women we enjoy looking at. But mostly, koalas.

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Brooklyn Decker has made a smooth transition from model to movie star with her roles as the object of Adam Sandler’s bikini’d affection in Just Go With It and as Lieutenant Commander Whoever in the upcoming blockbuster Battleship, but we’ll always remember her as the wife of tennis star Andy Roddick and as the lady from the cover of the 2010 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Why? Because we’re a sports blog, and if we remember her like that we get to keep writing about her.

It is in that spirit that we present to you Brooklyn’s latest Battleship-promoting photoshoot for GQ. You’d think Brooklyn Decker in wet underwear would be the highlight (and it probably is), but don’t miss out on this paragraph from the interview where she reveals that she’d have sex with Gisele Bündchen.

wha wha whaaat

For instance, there’s her long, spirited defense of Gisele Bündchen for her ungracious post–Super Bowl, mama-grizzly remarks about Tom Brady’s teammates (Bündchen was caught on-camera fuming, “My husband cannot f**king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time”), which Decker wraps up by admitting her Bündchen bias: “I have a top-five list, and Gisele is my number one. So she can do no wrong in my eyes.” Hold on—what kind of list is this, exactly? “Well, everyone has a top-five list of their biggest crushes, you know?” says Decker. “Usually, it’s guys on my list, but Gisele is just so perfect in every way.”

Two videos from the shoot follow, if you read that and your brain didn’t reboot. And be sure to check out the rest of the photos at GQ.

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"Get up, son. You're making a meme outta yourself."

Another day, another sports meme. After Tim Tebow’s practice of praying on the field developed into the act of “Tebowing”, not a single popular athlete is safe from having one simple moment turned into a ridiculous fad. Yesterday, two days removed from the New York Giants defeating the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI, Tom Brady learned that lesson all too well, as he became the inspiration for “Bradying”.

After his Patriots failed to pull off a last second miracle, it took Brady a few moments to collect himself, and he ended up looking like a miserable “Peanuts” character as he sulked on the ground. That brief moment was a blessing to the legions of NFL fans who loathe the Pats for being good at what their team isn’t – winning. And everyone with a camera and an ability to sit helped usher in this new meme era… sort of.

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As I mentioned earlier in my Peabody Award nominee post about Princess the Prognostic Camel, I’m not much of a gambler. That doesn’t stop people from asking me for advice, though, because when you tell people that you’re a sports blogger, you should probably include that you’re a dick joke maker and not an expert, otherwise people will assume you know things.

But aside from bar squares and fantasy football, there is one specific type of gambling that I’m a sucker for – Super Bowl prop bets. And this year there are some awesomely stupid bets to be made, from Kelly Clarkson’s National Anthem prowess to Madonna’s Skeletor arms. Side note: Madonna, LMFAO and Cee Lo are set to perform updated variations of Madonna’s old hits. She’s like the George Lucas of music. Madonna might as well make Cee Lo dress like Jar Jar Binks.

Where was I? Yes, prop bets. They’re typically for the most degenerate gamblers, as people who feel the need to bet on every little thing – including the coin flip, the color of Gatorade dumped on the winning coach and how many yards Hakeem Nicks’ first catch will be – for the sake of getting their rush and/or making up for all the money they lost during the regular season. Today, though, I’m making prop bets into something for the average person.

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When Tom Brady dumped his girlfriend, actress Bridget Moynahan, while she was pregnant a few years ago, I couldn’t believe what a dick he was. But then he started dating super duper model Gisele Bündchen, and I was like, “Yeah that makes sense now” because if being arguably the best quarterback in the history of the NFL isn’t enough, Brady can soon lay claim to being married to the world’s first billionaire model.

At least that’s what pace Gisele is on now that she has released her own lingerie line for the Brazilian company Hope. Think about that the next time you brag that your wife showed her boobs for free drinks at Chili’s.

After the 40-piece collection hit stores across Brazil the fashion retailer Hope reported a 40 per cent increase in turnover.

Now, the range is expected to be a hit with shoppers worldwide.

And with her products endorsements and business ventures earning a total of £29 million last year, Bündchen is now believed to be on track to becoming the world’s first billionaire supermodel. (Via The Daily Mail)

I’m just going to lay this out there for people to debate – Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen > Jay-Z and Beyoncé > David Beckham and Sporty Baby Scary Ginger Posh Victoria Beckham. I don’t even really think it’s debatable. Find me a bigger power couple than a franchise QB with 3 (possibly 4+) Super Bowl rings and a 31-year old billionaire supermodel wife whose abs could crack a diamond.

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