The Dunk of the Year contest is over. Shut it down, kill the lights, everyone go home. Gerald Green is the winner.
Green, the former first-round draft pick and 2007 Slam Dunk Contest champion, had been out of the league since 2010 before signing a 10-day contract with the New Jersey Nets at the end of February. Since joining the team, he’s averaged about nine points and three rebounds a game, but none of that is important because on Saturday night Gerald Green caught an alley-oop and HOLY SH-T LOOK AT THAT PICTURE. His entire face is above the rim. Mother of God.
I’d like to conclude this post with a brief editorial note about dunking. Dunking is the best. If I were able to dunk like Gerald Green, I would never stop. Every time I touched a basketball, I would just put my head down and tear towards the basket with the misguided recklessness of a bird flying into a window. When I didn’t have the ball, I would constantly be doing that thing where I try to make eye contact with whoever has it and nod my head towards to the rim to indicate I want them to throw me an alley-oop. I wouldn’t develop any sort of fundamental skills like ball-handling or defense or a mid-range jump shot. Nope. All dunks. I would be a mostly useless player who brought nothing to the table except one ridiculous highlight every now and then surrounded on all sides by mediocre play and an inflated sense of self-importance.
Basically, I would be Gerald Green.