With a 1-4 start to this college football season, the Georgia Bulldogs have employed the bold strategy of giving the rest of the SEC a huge head start before they eventually make their run for a conference title. Some people, however, disagree with that assessment and maintain that Georgia simply sucks this year. Either way, it’s an exciting time to be alive in Athens, because in only 10 days the university will unveil their new mascot – Uga VIII.

When the Bulldogs gear up to play their Homecoming game against Vanderbilt on October 16, Sonny Seiler, the man who has long provided the school with its legacy of wrinkled pooches, will introduce the latest heir to the Uga name, as he claims this one is a descendent of Uga VI. Vanderbilt, on the other hand, has turned down repeated offers from Jay Cutler to reveal his “trouser snake.”

Make sure to apply only the finest peanut butter, Atlanta Journal Constitution:

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As you may have heard, University of Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans was arrested and charged with DUI last Wednesday. A DUI is a pretty douche move in and of itself, but Damon will go down in the douche hall of fame for what he said while being pulled over.

“I am not trying to bribe you but I am the athletic director of the University of Georgia,” Evans said. –USAToday

He wasn’t hoping to bribe them. Jones was hoping that he wouldn’t need to because he’s the athletic director of Georgia. As such, he’s immune from all of the “laws” and “rules of civilization” that we common people have to follow. He would never stoop as low as someone like Charles Barkley he has far too much respect for his wife. Read the rest of this entry »

College football is full of passionate fans, but so few of them are red-headed engineering students that dip themselves in powdered sugar on Saturday mornings before going to watch their Georgia Bulldogs take on South Carolina. Easy there, junior. That’s exactly how my grandmother got diabetes. This is exactly why prohibition shouldn’t exist in college football stadiums; that guy needs a drink.as seen here.

Georgia’s A.J. Green was flagged after celebrating this touchdown catch that put Georgia ahead of LSU late in the fourth quarter of their game Saturday. Green was flagged for an excessive celebration penalty, which gave LSU great field position on the ensuing kickoff for LSU’s Charles Scott to run down the field and score. Earlier today, the SEC said, “Our bad, yo.” You know, but in a real folksy way.

Rogers Redding, the SEC supervisor of officials, said Monday that after reviewing video of the play, “I’ve concluded that it was one that we probably should have let go.” via.

See that, Georgia? They said they were sorry! Don’t you feel better now? LSU won the game, their first win in Athens for the first time in 22 years. I’m sure they’re feeling just fine.

Former Georgia quarterback and current NFL prospect Matthew Stafford is about a month away from the Brinks truck backing up to his front door. The only question remains, “From whom shall those riches flow?” Probably not San Francisco, as Niners coach Mike Singletary has already given Stafford his stamp of disapproval after noting that the quarterback responded negatively to questions about his parents’ divorce. It’s a round brown stamp, actually. From AJC, via Shutdown Corner:

Niners head coach Mike Singletary told KNBR (680 AM) in San Francisco this week that “if you’re going to look at drafting a guy in the first round, and you’re going to pay him millions of dollars, and asking him about a divorce about his parents, if that’s going to be an issue, uhhh, then you know what, maybe he doesn’t belong here.”

Stafford, a potential first-round draft pick, told the Detroit Free Press that the psychologist presumed Stafford had “unfinished business” about his parents’ split in high school.

My parents would get divorced if they weren’t so fat and ugly; who would take either one of them now? I wonder why Singletary would go out of his way to slap around a guy that his team doesn’t need anyway. Why would a defensive-minded coach need a seventh quarterback anyway? They already have a No. 1 pick in Alex Smith, who blows, yes, but what would a defensive-minded, run-first coach do with a decent quarterback, anyway? Besides make him stare at his brown stamp.

Stafford is working out with the Lions today, and if he doesn’t get therapy after that, he won’t be any good to anybody.

The weekend after Georgia was ranked #1 in the season's first coaches' poll, several Bulldogs players celebrated in style: in separate incidents on Saturday night, one player was arrested for public urination and two more went to the hospital after getting into a bar brawl.

Long snapper Jeff Henson, a junior from Gainesville, was arrested for public intoxication and urinating in public… Because Henson also was charged with DUI last November — he missed the Sugar Bowl as punishment — he was suspended indefinitely.

Junior safety Donavon Baldwin also was suspended indefinitely for his involvement in an unrelated altercation at a bar. Baldwin, who was already serving a one-game suspension because of a DUI arrest in January, was sent to St. Mary's Hospital after getting hit in the head with a beer bottle.

I don't understand why people get arrested for urinating in public.  I think it should be legal if you're drunk enough.  Like you can do it if you can blow a .20 on the Breathalyzer.  I can't really justify why that should be, I just know is that pissing outside feels great when you're drunk.