College football is full of passionate fans, but so few of them are red-headed engineering students that dip themselves in powdered sugar on Saturday mornings before going to watch their Georgia Bulldogs take on South Carolina. Easy there, junior. That’s exactly how my grandmother got diabetes. This is exactly why prohibition shouldn’t exist in college football stadiums; that guy needs a drink.as seen here.
Georgia’s A.J. Green was flagged after celebrating this touchdown catch that put Georgia ahead of LSU late in the fourth quarter of their game Saturday. Green was flagged for an excessive celebration penalty, which gave LSU great field position on the ensuing kickoff for LSU’s Charles Scott to run down the field and score. Earlier today, the SEC said, “Our bad, yo.” You know, but in a real folksy way.
Rogers Redding, the SEC supervisor of officials, said Monday that after reviewing video of the play, “I’ve concluded that it was one that we probably should have let go.” via.
See that, Georgia? They said they were sorry! Don’t you feel better now? LSU won the game, their first win in Athens for the first time in 22 years. I’m sure they’re feeling just fine.
Former Georgia quarterback and current NFL prospect Matthew Stafford is about a month away from the Brinks truck backing up to his front door. The only question remains, “From whom shall those riches flow?” Probably not San Francisco, as Niners coach Mike Singletary has already given Stafford his stamp of disapproval after noting that the quarterback responded negatively to questions about his parents’ divorce. It’s a round brown stamp, actually. From AJC, via Shutdown Corner:
Niners head coach Mike Singletary told KNBR (680 AM) in San Francisco this week that “if you’re going to look at drafting a guy in the first round, and you’re going to pay him millions of dollars, and asking him about a divorce about his parents, if that’s going to be an issue, uhhh, then you know what, maybe he doesn’t belong here.”
Stafford, a potential first-round draft pick, told the Detroit Free Press that the psychologist presumed Stafford had “unfinished business” about his parents’ split in high school.
My parents would get divorced if they weren’t so fat and ugly; who would take either one of them now? I wonder why Singletary would go out of his way to slap around a guy that his team doesn’t need anyway. Why would a defensive-minded coach need a seventh quarterback anyway? They already have a No. 1 pick in Alex Smith, who blows, yes, but what would a defensive-minded, run-first coach do with a decent quarterback, anyway? Besides make him stare at his brown stamp.
Stafford is working out with the Lions today, and if he doesn’t get therapy after that, he won’t be any good to anybody.
The weekend after Georgia was ranked #1 in the season's first coaches' poll, several Bulldogs players celebrated in style: in separate incidents on Saturday night, one player was arrested for public urination and two more went to the hospital after getting into a bar brawl.
Long snapper Jeff Henson, a junior from Gainesville, was arrested for public intoxication and urinating in public… Because Henson also was charged with DUI last November — he missed the Sugar Bowl as punishment — he was suspended indefinitely.
Junior safety Donavon Baldwin also was suspended indefinitely for his involvement in an unrelated altercation at a bar. Baldwin, who was already serving a one-game suspension because of a DUI arrest in January, was sent to St. Mary's Hospital after getting hit in the head with a beer bottle.
I don't understand why people get arrested for urinating in public. I think it should be legal if you're drunk enough. Like you can do it if you can blow a .20 on the Breathalyzer. I can't really justify why that should be, I just know is that pissing outside feels great when you're drunk.
Georgia mascot Uga VI, also known as Uga V's Whatchagot Loran (Giterdone Masterson being taken by a rival southern school), died Friday as Orson Swindle described most Georgians will: "pantsless, lacking a high school degree, and suffering from a heart attack." Unlike the rest of the Peach Staters, maybe save Jimmy Carter, he's getting himself one a' them classy like interments.
Like his five predecessors, Uga VI will be interred in specially-built marble vault built into the side of the south grandstands just inside the main gate of the southwest side of the stadium. According to UGA, it is the only school that buries its mascots within the confines of the stadium.
As of Sunday afternoon, there were nearly 600 entries in Uga VI's guestbook on ajc.com.
Most were from Georgia fans offering condolences to the Seilers and thanking them for their efforts. Then there was "Lucy," who claimed to be a Maltese from North Port, Fla.
"Arf, arf, old friend," she wrote.
Nice to see one of his old bitches checking in on the 'tubes. Except "arf" isn't really a bark of despair. It's pretty upbeat, almost buoyant. Like maybe this dog had a thing for Whatchagot. They shared a fleeting moment, a mutual sniff of the anus, but he just couldn't commit to a different breed in a different state. Lucy has held onto that spite, allowing it to twist her emotions. Maybe she'll never let it do. Yeah, I'm concocting narratives for dogs. My life is turning more into Half Baked everyday.
I have a close friend whose die-hard Cincinnati-area homerism leads me to favor Xavier every March, so — because I have no information or opinions of my own about the NCAAs — I have them going to the Elite 8 in the only pool I have money on. So things at Chez Leather were tense while 14-seed Georgia enjoyed a double-digit lead for a good portion of one of the early games. Thankfully, the Bulldogs' crippling lack of athleticism was their undoing, as the Muskies rallied to win 73-61.
Other early games: Kansas sleepwalks past Portland State, Michigan State handles Temple, and we haven't seen an upset yet. Except my stomach. Beer before noon and Chicago dogs? Oof.
Right now: Marquette has a slim lead over Kentucky, with Oral Roberts-Pittsburgh on the way. Mmmm… hot Oral-Pitt action.
