Last year I ranted about what a fascist asshole George Steinbrenner is for implementing the “Nobody moves during ‘God Bless America’ during the seventh-inning stretch” rule at Yankee Stadium.

Now, thanks to Bradford Campeau-Laurion, an ejected fan who wrote in to Deadspin, we’ve finally got an example of Yankee Stadium security strong-arming a fan who dared to defy the law of forced patriotism.

As I attempted to walk down the aisle and exit my section into the tunnel, I was stopped by a police officer. He informed me that I had to wait until the song was over. I responded that I had to use the restroom and that I did not care about God Bless America.

As soon as the latter came out of my mouth, my right arm was twisted violenty [sic] behind my back and I was informed that I was being escorted out of the stadium. A second officer then joined in and twisted my left arm… I informed them they were violating my First Amendment rights and that I had done nothing wrong, with no response from them.

I’ll be honest: this guy’s hyphenated double-French surname isn’t helping my impression that he’s a banana-grabbing communist, but there’s one overriding truth to this story: Yankee Stadium BLOWS. It’s a festering hive of overpriced sentimentality that strips the notion of “land of the free” out of the national pastime. If there’s a just God who blesses America, he’ll see to it that the litigious nature of the land that I love repeals Herr Steinbrenner’s unconstitutional rule and awards Frenchypants a hefty settlement.

Pinstripes are the new swastikas. Choke on a dick buffet, Yankees.

Former NFL receiver David Boston spent much of his career attached to the the adjective "embattled" — up to and including his release from the Buccaneers this fall following his arrest for DUI.  Things haven't gotten much better for Boston recently, as he has now added an arrest for "felony false imprisonment, misdemeanor domestic battery, culpable negligence and resisting an officer without violence."  Sun-Sentinel sez:

According to the [police] report, the dispute began when Renee Boston took her 2-year-old daughter for a short walk. When she was nearing her house, she saw David Boston in his vehicle pulling out of the driveway, leaving their 1-month-old son alone in the house. Police said Renee Boston was locked out, and she could hear their baby crying inside. She called David Boston, who said he was just driving around the block.

When he returned, the couple began to argue. According to police, David Boston became angry and threw a sofa cushion at his wife, hitting her in the face and nearly hitting the baby. When she called 911, he ripped the phone cord from the wall.

Oh, what's the big deal?  The kid's one month old, not a master of disguise jewel thief on the lam or a donut in the pressbox.  I'm pretty sure it's gonna be there when he gets back.  At a month old babies are just useless lumps that produce tears and shit.  They may as well not even have limbs.

So, emails have been flooding the With Leather inbox about the arrest of Tampa Bay Buccaneer wide receiver David Boston on suspicion of DUI.  I was all like, "Nobody wants to hear about Daryl Boston.  He sucked for the White Sox, and then he sucked slightly less for the Mets.  Plus he last played like 12 years ago."  But then the lovely lady (i.e. 'sporting girl') I entertained (i.e. 'hired') last night said, "That doesn't say Daryl Boston, it says David Boston."  Who says women don't know their sports?  Anyway, here's some highlights from the police report:

Boston, 29, . . . was found passed out at the wheel of a dark red Range Rover . . . police said. "We're assuming he stopped at the red light and passed out," police Capt. Sanfield Forseth said. "He didn't know where he was." The jail affidavit said that Boston had poor balance. It also said he has a tattoo of "Chucky" on the right side of his chest. "He seemed disoriented and confused," the arresting officer, identified as J. McNeil, said in the arrest affidavit. "He had mood swings and seemed evasive."

Having a tattoo depicting the character most closely associated with your head coach seems a little awkward to me.  It's like the time when I was in the Libyan navy, and that guy with the Betty Boop tat insisted that every one of his bunkmates resembled her.  I still feel a little bad about giving that weirdo a "fantail liberty".  But I don't feel bad about all the American cigarettes he "left" me because I bought my way out of navy with them. -KD

(Video of the field sobriety test here, and more analysis at Foul Balls and Deadspin.)

Let's mix it up with a fun little rant.  Today the New York Times turns its critical eye on something that has pissed me off for a long time: how the New York Yankees are the only team to play "God Bless America" during the seventh-inning stretch of every home game (a holdover from an MLB practice after 9/11, though the song is still played in all stadiums on Sundays and holidays), and how their ushers prevent crowd movement during the song by holding up chains across the aisles.

“Mr. Steinbrenner wanted to do all games to remind the fans about how important it is to honor our nation, our service members, those that died on Sept. 11 and those fighting for our nation,” [spokesman Howard] Rubenstein said.

The chains were implemented because a bunch of fans sent angry emails about how people didn't respect the song properly.

I'm amused by what people consider patriotic.  I've always placed the Bill of Rights and the Constitution over a song praising a country's geography, but what do I know?  I'm just some stupid Marine Corps combat veteran.  For the record: I stand at attention from the first note to the last note of the National Anthem because that's what Marine Corps order dictates; however, there is no law (Marine or otherwise) that requires me to stand still during "God Bless America," a song that I've never particularly liked in the first place. 

Patriotism is a nice gesture, but it shouldn't be confused for freedom — and I'd like the freedom to move around when I damn well please.  I think I've earned it.

This is a tough one. What with Cory Lidle's death earlier this week, it's pretty hard to make jokes about Yankees and airplane crashes. But when Alex Rodriguez's private jet goes off the runway, well, the kid gloves come off.

It might be time for Steinbrenner to outlaw air travel for the pinstriped All-Stars this offseason. Make them take the train or something. Or buy them all Madden Cruisers.

Wait — holy shit. I've got it all wrong. Steinbrenner's behind all of this, that evil fuck. Well, George, I'm on to you, and this is NOT an acceptable way to trim your payroll in order to afford Daisuke Matsuzaka. Watch out Yankees! Jason Giambi: make sure that needle's clean, pal. Kyle Farnsworth's XBox is booby-trapped. And Randy Johnson better check his brake lines before he goes to the post office to not mail his child support check.

Ah, why do I care? Kill 'em all, George.