People are stupid. That’s obviously a running theme around here, but the thing is that celebrities know that people are stupid. Even stupid celebrities know that people are stupid, because that’s how those morons are even famous in the first place. Fortunately for those stupid celebrities, they’re surrounded by people who want to make money off of them, and they’re smart enough to understand the 15 Minutes concept. And that’s the reason why the greatest 14:59 marketing push has always been the celebrity exercise video.

Celebrities are usually in great shape because they have teams of trainers and dieticians that help them around the clock, because if Kim Kardashian didn’t have people helping her, she’d be more ass than a donkey farm. Marketing teams, though, know that they can capitalize off of the public’s stupidity by letting us believe that celebrities just have some inside knowledge on what it takes to keep it tight. They don’t. But that won’t stop them from profiting.

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Previous ‘Sports On TV’ columns (for ‘Saved By The Bell’ and ‘Full House’) have been fun to write but a pain to suffer through for research, because seriously, have you tried watching an 8th season episode of ‘Full House’ in 2012? Those columns sorta celebrate the badness of sports on TV, and how they get shoehorned in when people run out of love triangles and job jokes don’t have anything to write about.

So it’s with great pride that I present the third ‘Sports On TV’ effort, celebrating the 25 best sports moments from one of the best and most under-appreciated animated comedies ever made, FOX’s ‘King Of The Hill’. If you haven’t seen it before or just flip past it when you’re looking for ‘Squidbillies’ episodes on Adult Swim, the show’s entire 13-season run is available on Netflix streaming and is one of the best ways to spend 130-ish hours. What made the sports on ‘King Of The Hill’ great is that they aren’t accessories to the action … they’re focal points, important or not, just like in real life.

I’m lucky to have some great guest columnists this week, so I hope you enjoy the list. And yeah, there are at least 40 other moments we could’ve included here, so consider this part 1 of an eventual 50 Greatest Sports Moments Of ‘King Of The Hill’. We’ll loop back around when I realize Golden Girls didn’t have 20 sports moments on it.

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Joe Frazier died on Monday. Complications from liver cancer. He had a full life as a Former Olympic and Undisputed World Heavyweight boxing champion, the owner and manager of a boxing gym in Philadelphia, a member of both the International Boxing and World Boxing Halls of Fame and the uncredited inspiration for the meat-punching and stair-running in Rocky, but he’s most famous for being able to write “gave Muhammed Ali his first professional defeat” at the top of his resume.

From CNN.com –

Frazier’s family issued a brief statement.

“We The Family of … Smokin’ Joe Frazier, regret to inform you of his passing,” the statement said. “He transitioned from this life as ‘One of God’s Men,’ on the eve of November 7, 2011 at his home in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.”

Ali also issued a brief statement, because Ali and Frazier are more connected in most minds than “Joe Frazier” and “Joe Frazier’s arms and legs”.

“The world has lost a great champion. I will always remember Joe with respect and admiration.”

Frazier and his left hook retired in 1976 with a 32-4-1 record having George Foreman, Joe Bugner, Jimmy Ellis and Oscar Bonavena. He hit Ali with one of the most famous punches in history in round 15 of 1971′s “Fight of the Century” at Madison Square Garden and lost a 12-round decision in a January 1974 rematch. The “Thrilla in Manila” came and went, and the image we carry of Frazier is from there, his eyes swollen shut, Ali closer to death than he’d ever been. There’s also the Foreman knockout, with Howard Cosell’s iconic “down goes Frazier” and the idea that if you can fall down and become iconic before you’ve hit the ground, you’ve led some kind of life.

… and if you need more proof of a life well-lived, check out Frazier and Ali on ‘This Is Your Life’, by way of Buzzfeed.

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You’d think a site that deals with celebrity hearsay as much as TMZ.com would see the sentence fragment “celebrating his 70th birthday at his good friend Zsa Zsa Gabor’s house” as a red flag, but here we are; “Let’s Do the Freddie” singer Chubby Checker was, well, celebrating his 70th birthday at Zsa Zsa Gabor’s house, and was caught on tape explaining how he’s the reason why Muhammad Ali is famous. This should come as no surprise to boxing historians, because after all, who could forget Chubby’s TKO of Jerry Quarry, or the time Ali told George Foreman to “twist again, like we did last summer”?

More, from the Worldwide Leader In Why Is This News:

According to Chubby, he instructed Clay to get as loud and cocky as possible whenever he could — both inside and outside the ring — and before long, Clay became known for his trademark hubris.

Talk about a butterfly effect. Chubby says Ali still hasn’t thanked him.

He went on to add:

So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now where was I…

Talk about a butterfly effect. I love the idea that Cassius Clay was this little studious, quiet guy with no self confidence until he ran into Chubby Checker, and Chubby’s gyrating hips and “Jingle Bell Rock” covers gave him the edge he needed to ascend to greatness. Chubby, I like your “The Twist (Yo, Twist!)” collaboration with The Fat Boys as much as the next guy, but I’m guessing Ali probably could’ve made it through without you. Stick to claiming people you actually made famous, like Chubby Checker, or Richie “The Big Bopper” Belding.