Last week, when we discovered Old Spice’s amazing video game, Dikembe Mutombo’s 4 ½ Weeks to Save the World, and once I was done playing it for 72 hours (catch the damn ballots, you morons!) I slipped into one of my very common NBA nostalgia wormholes. And what started out as a search for Mutombo finger wag GIFs actually turned into me revisiting Manute Bol’s career and subsequent extracurricular activities.

Of course, Bol passed away in 2010 due to kidney failure and a rare skin disease, but his legacy has lived on through the Ring True Foundation, which was Bol’s most important effort in aiding the people of his native Sudan. Unfortunately, as I looked through a number of pictures, videos and articles about Bol’s life, I was disappointed by the overwhelming use of the words “side show” and, even worse, “freak show” to describe the way that some people exploited his height.

What a lot of people either don’t remember – or just choose to ignore – is that Bol traded this perceived nnotion of exploitation to support his foundation. So even when he was “shamefully” boxing William Perry or hanging out with jockeys and riding horses, Bol was doing his part to make the lives of others that much better. After all, the cause may not matter in the long run to a lot of people, but George Clooney thought it was enough to get arrested over, so hopefully Bol has been bragging to St. Peter and the boys about that.

This isn’t news, but I thought it might be fun to remember Manute Bol, not as a sideshow but more of the main event. Big shoes, son of Manute. Seriously, huge shoes.

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WARNING: Do not stare directly at the beauty.

In case you hadn’t noticed, we’ve been trying to develop more of an open forum atmosphere within these UPROXX sites as a means of making our conversations broader and more engaging, all to enhance the overall reading experience. For instance, if you missed my Pulitzer quality discussion about snack cakes last week or Cajun Boy’s rap beef investigation, well then you’re not living life to its fullest.

That said, I’ve previously touched on the relationship of Hollywood megastar and guy who I really want to be best friends with, George Clooney, and former WCW Nitro Dancer and WWE Diva Stacy Keibler, but I’ve never actually pushed everyone into the deep end of just how much this couple fascinates me. So as we celebrate the birthday of one of the most important people in American history (happy 53rd, Sade!) I thought we could go ahead and throw our thoughts around about America’s most improbable-yet-gorgeous couple.

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Sports

PoV: The Lingerie Basketball League - The part of me that assumes women are human beings and my equal thinks this probably shouldn’t be a thing. Watching strippers play basketball is like watching pro wrestlers act — I understand why you’re doing it, but come on, this is terrible. [Smoking Section]

The Best UFC 133 Preview You’ll See All Day - Jeremy Piven as Joe Rogan is too perfect. And speaking of wrestling, the one thing pro wrestling will always have on the UFC is video production values. MMA hype video backgrounds need more crying babies and people inaudibly chanting in Latin. I’ll get into MMA when they start effectively using Placebo in their video packages. [Cage Potato]

Phan Fighting To Break Asian Stereotypes - I guess “Shidoshi Tanaka’s kid who gets beaten up at school, gets saved by Frank Dux and then lectures him about how one day he’s gonna be great and go fight in the Kumite” isn’t an Asian stereotype. Maybe Phan should start breaking peoples’ legs and taunting his opponents with their best friends’ bandanas. [Cagewriter]

The Animated GIFs Of July: In Which Every Living Baseball Player Is Terrible - It’s true, they’re all terrible. Especially the ones who can’t throw out Jarrod Saltalamacchia. [SBN]

With Leather

How To Get Body Dysmorphia: Attend The Crossfit Games - Site founder Matt Ufford stopped by yesterday to share his photo diary of the event, and I’m going to spend the next six weeks blubbering and eating ice cream in the darkness. If I could look like half of one of these people, I’d be happy. [With Leather]

The Attractive Female Celebrity’s Guide To Drafting Fantasy Running Backs - I don’t want to live in a world where people consider Ashley Tisdale hotter than Brenda Song. Come on, Zack and Cody’s mom was hotter than Ashley Tisdale. [With Leather]

The Best MMA Feud You’ll Read All Year - I’m going to start writing more stories about Russia just to use that stock header. [With Leather]

Sooners/Longhorns Rivalry Turns Into Stabbing At Applebee’s - More like Stabblebee’s, am I right? Read it now, before it’s been online too long and people googling “Longhorns suck” show up and start lecturing me about how “you’re are a moron!!” in the comments. Note: I wish I could use a King of the Hill screen grab as the header image for every story. [With Leather]

Not Sports

George Clooney And…Stacy Keibler? - It is so incredibly disappointing to me to see Stacy Keibler get gross-looking breast implants at this stage in her life and career. I guess you don’t get failed TV pilots with a flat chest. SMDH at you, Stacy. SMDH. [FARK|]

The Most WTF Bacon Products - I think bacon itself is the most “wtf bacon product”. I think gutting a living thing and eating its flesh after you’ve placed it in scalding-hot oil is weirder than a bacon-flavored envelope. [UGO]

35 Best Drawings Of Jon Hamm - A companion piece to the Most WTF Bacon Products. When are people going to start drawing Pete? Pete is the best character on that show. [Buzzfeed]

Can You Match The Plot Description To The Jason Statham Movie? - Ugh, no. [Pajiba]