I could have sworn that somebody on this here incredible UPROXX network had already written about the Dikembe Mutombo Geico commercial, or maybe it’s just that I’ve watched it so many times that it’s tattooed on my brain and I see his goofy grin every time I open my eyes. Whatever the case may be, between my ridiculous car insurance payments and commercials about human women wanting to have sex with pigs, it’s very rare that I would compliment a Geico ad. But damn it, that Dikembe Mutombo ad is fantastic.

But you know that already, because you’ve probably watched it a billion times, too. The reason that I bring this up so late in the ad world game is because the NBA All-Star Weekend starts tonight and I believe my excitement can be summed up by the following GIF…

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I almost went with “n/t” for the body of this, but here goes.

Baseball season is upon us (f**king finally), and to celebrate, I wanted to find the perfect video to encapsulate how the arrival of pitchers and catchers to Spring Training and the onset of Our National Pastime makes us feel as a people. What I’ve decided on is this clip (courtesy of Sportress Of Blogitude) of the GEICO Racing Presidents from Nationals Park trying to hurt each other on a hockey rink. Oddly enough, it’s a solid choice.

If you’ve seen a Presidents Race before (I’ve seen plenty, having spent a year living in Bethesda, Maryland, watching Nyjer Morgan whiff fly balls and give up inside-the-park homers), this one plays out like you’d expect … Teddy Roosevelt takes an early lead, but gives in to his hubris and ends up getting checked into the bench by George Washington. Later, he gets revenge with a flying cross-body from the top to take out all three remaining competitors at the finish line.

I have missed you so much, baseball.

The other day, Baltimore Ravens QB Joe Flacco jokingly complained to the local media that his coaches were being too conservative with their play calling and that he could use some help in criticizing his coaches so they would open it up some more. Then everyone laughed and someone in the back of the room yelled, “Dude, you are the worst fantasy football QB ever!” It might have been me. But I digress.

Flacco’s comments, while made in jest, were still true, and his offensive coordinator, Cam Cameron, agreed that he was being too conservative, and then offered his own joke response to the Baltimore media.

“Number one, I’m not going to listen to anything you guys say,” said Cameron in his weekly talk with reporters. “But no, we’ll listen to what Joe has to say. I almost thought of telling Joe, ‘Those words are hurtful. You’re not coming to the pancake social.’”

(Via the Baltimore Sun)

In case you’re one of the few lucky people who don’t get that “joke”, Cameron is referring to the Geico car insurance commercial in which the caveman character loses to Washington Redskins linebacker Brian Orakpo in a game of Scrabble. While breaking down commercials is more of a Warming Glow thing, I can’t help but point out a few things about this tired, terrible commercial theme that my car insurance provider keeps choking us with.

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