It looks like Alex Rodriguez is going to be in a lot of trouble. Well, a little trouble. Okay, no trouble whatsoever.

Via ESPN, who can get their own hyperlinks:

Major League Baseball is taking “very seriously” the allegations that Alex Rodriguez took part in some illegal, underground poker games, one of which reportedly turned violent, and he could face suspension if his participation in the games is confirmed.

“We take this very seriously and have been investigating this matter since the initial allegation,” MLB said in a statement. “As part of the investigation, the commissioner’s office will interview Mr. Rodriguez.”

Of course, no investigation would be necessary if Major League Baseball would just moderate their own chatrooms. Today The Dugout has an exclusive look at Alex Rodriguez’s sexy dangerous parties in the seedy underbelly of high-stakes poker. Man, I’m going to get him in so much trouble. I feel like Sports By Brooks!

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I’m not much of a gambling man, but I have been known to throw down a sixpence or two on the local American football contest. Alas, some men are just better gamblers than I. And while gambling isn’t much of a sport, it still mostly involves the urge of competitive nature, and when it involves a retard dying, then I’m all for giving it attention. Especially when that retard died in my old stomping grounds of Broward County, Florida.

Timothy Jordan celebrated his 46th birthday by getting hammered and taking a swim. One of his friends apparently bet him $50 that he couldn’t swim across a canal. Timothy lost that bet when he died from drowning. You know, in all seriousness, I know it’s mean to joke around about someone’s death, but as a person who vehemently defends Florida as a place that isn’t completely full of morons, this kind of crap just really sets my fight back a few hundred years.

Did he at least die with dignity, Sacramento Bee?

Deputies say Jordan was drunk when he stripped down to his boxer shorts and jumped into the canal. He made it about halfway across when he started struggling.

Divers recovered his body just after 4 a.m.

For those of you unfamiliar with South Florida, there are canals everywhere. There was a canal down the street from the house I grew up in and when I was a kid, my friends and I would try to jump it with our bikes. And it was easy because it was like 6 feet across. In fact, most canals are pretty narrow, so it blows my mind that this guy couldn’t swim 10 feet. But then again, I don’t really know anything about Ol’ Einstein and his swimming habits, so whatever. But I do know that canals are f*cking gross and usually filled with alligators, so great job, TJ.

How come there’s always some jackass that has to ruin things for everyone?  Things like bringing your own bottle of vodka on flights to Vegas so you can pass it around the back of the plane, or knocking boots in public (Hypotheticals. I swear…).  Well NBA players–and I imagine other sport leagues might follow suit–can thank Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton for getting their in-flight poker privileges taken away.

Following the Arenas/Crittenton scuffle, the Washington Wizards and New Jersey Nets are the first teams to ban gambling on team flights.  However, the Denver Nuggets crew isn’t taking this ban lightly.

“I definitely don’t think that’s something teams should do,” said [Chauncey] Billups, one of the NBA’s most respected players. “I think that when it’s done in the right way, that’s great camaraderie. Everybody likes to gamble whether it’s any kind of card game. Whatever it is, I think that it’s who you gamble with. I think that it’s the stakes that you gamble for.

“For our team, we gamble for small money. Just to waste time. Twenty dollars. If we gambled for $2,000, $2,500, $3,000, now that messes with your camaraderie. Now, when someone wants to get paid … it’s like ‘I don’t want to be around this guy.’ I think it’s about what you gamble for and who you’re with … We’re not gambling to pay bills. We’re just gambling to have fun.”–Fanhouse.com

Also speaking up against the ban are Melo, Arron Affalo, and Chris Andersen’s hair.  One might argue that if it’s “just to waste time”, why do they need to play for money at all regardless of the amount?  But everyone knows that everything is better when money is involved.  Kinda like working, or doing chores…or blowjobs–you know, all the big stuff.  The players are right, though.  Everyone shouldn’t be punished because of the actions of two idiot thugs.  If it were a recurring problem, fine;  but the guilty parties really should be the only ones held accountable here with maybe a “let this be a lesson to you” warning to the rest of the league.

The North Carolina lottery–based in Ric Flair’s home state–has just released a five-dollar “WOOOOOOO!” scratch-off ticket [that's with 7 Os] where players can win up to $100,000 in cash. Hey, wait a second. That’s only five zeros. I already feel shortchanged.

Lottery executive director Tom Shaheen said the ticket could help attract new players.

“We are always looking for ways to appeal to new players so we can maximize sales and generate as much money as possible for education.”

The odds of winning any prize from the ticket are 1 in 3.63. The odds of wining one of the top prices are 1 in 390,000. via.

The 16-time world champion [as indicated by the 16 scratch-off belts] will be making promotional appearances throughout greater Charlotte to promote the ticket. And I predict this will be the greatest lottery promotion ever. And that’s what it would take to alleviate the stink when Flair returns to the ring to square off against Hulk Hogan. Age in the cage! I’m sure Hogan has already bought a roll of these to put a dent in that divorce settlement. And might I add, “WOOO!”

After a losing decision from a panel of judges from the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals, the state of Delaware is now petitioning for its case to be heard by the entire Court, and not just by a smidgeon of judges.

The request comes two weeks after a three-judge Circuit Court panel in Philadelphia ruled Delaware’s sports-betting plan violated federal law. The ruling limited Delaware to allowing parlay betting on NFL games only. That wagering, which requires bettors to correctly predict the outcomes of at least three games, was launched at the state’s three horse racing track-based casinos last Thursday, the day the NFL regular season began. via.

Seven of the Court’s 12 judges must approve the petition…wait a second, seven of twelve?! How many judges does a federal circuit need? Are there even 12 people that live in the state of Delaware? But honestly, it’s ridiculous that you can bet on anything in Nevada, but you can’t bet anywhere else. It’s like Jack in the Box serving breakfast all day, but nobody else does. Although I’m not sure what Taco Bell would ever serve for breakfast, aside from day-old flan and a bottle of tequila.

According to sports biz whiz Darren Rovell, Bodog Sportsbook manager Richard Gardner took it personally when more and more people on that site continuted wagering on the Lakers to win the NBA title. So he set up a little wrinkle to the process that apparently will soon be costing him a boatload of cash.

Anyone who placed a bet on any other team to win the title would get $50 back from Bodog if Kobe and his boys ended up hoisting the trophy. It’s why, besides the players and the team executives themselves, Gardner probably has the most on the line.

The total damage if the Lakers win? Gardner already knows the number down to the cent: $394,411.50.

Oh, and I have no explanation for the girl in the dryer, but I’m pretty sure she was wearing a white shirt when I first put her in the wash. I guess you can’t wash teens on hot water, because the colors bleed. But only for three days out of the month.