JAPAN GETS LAZIER…ONE ASS AT A TIME

Written by JOSH Z / 02.10.10

u3-x_honda_0

This is the Honda U3-X, another individual motorized ass basket for people that can’t be bothered with walking from place to place. It made the auto show press circuit in September, so everyone has already made the “unicycle that had sex with a Segway” joke. As if anything would ever have sex with a unicycle. Maybe an accordian… Anyway, the unit offers one hour of hassle-free riding and easy carrying when…I guess when you run into stairs or something. They haven’t hit the market yet, so you’re stuck walking around like an idiot for the next several months. Loser.

Web Ecoist. More fun from Japan.

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A NEW GOLF GADGET FOR LAZY HIPSTERS

Written by Weed Against Speed / 09.26.09

People often argue that professional golfers are not real athletes, like football players and competitive eaters. That might be true, but at least they do have to walk the course during competition. Sure, they have caddies on hand to do all of the heavy lifting – lugging the bag around, raking the bunkers, etc. – not to mention those poor souls have to suffer the indignity of cleaning their bosses’ balls (boy, does that remind me of a summer job back in high school – and I didn’t even work at a golf course).

We weekend hacks can always resort to spending the twenty bucks to rent a cart. Usually, you’re still recovering from the 13-14 beers from the previous night, and a cart is always looked upon as a godsend. A nice, leisurely cruise around the course, a Bloody Mary (or three) to wash the taste of weed and hooker spit out of your mouth and you’re good to go. You’re already going to take 100 swings (at least), why exert yourself any further?

The problem is America is getting lazier – and fatter. Thankfully, there was a company out there that realized there was a void in golfing technology for the cross section of golfers who are either morbidly obese or happen to be an obnoxiously lazy hipster and stepped up to the challenge: introducing the Mantsy Golf Caddy, the machine that is half Segway, half push cart. These days, who has the energy to repeatedly climb in and out of a golf cart over and over again? Wouldn’t you rather hop on your Golf Caddy and scoot on down the fairway in style?

Where this little putt-putter differs is in having four wheels, which tends to be a comfortingly large number for the sort of folk who can’t be bothered to (or just plain can’t) walk when golfing. And this is definitely targeted at golfers, with the official announcement set for the Golf Europe fair in Berlin this Sunday. The machine comes with turf-saving tires (whatever those are), 18 kilometers per hour top speed, a range of 36 holes, and holders for scorecards, cups, balls and tees. via.

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I THINK I JUST CAME

Written by JOSH Z / 03.25.09

Tech blog Dvice (via On 205th) shows off the only thing that will be appearing on the PUNTE Christmas List in 2009: a 103-inch plasma television. Because I don’t want to just watch sports. I want sports to punch me in the face until my retinas bleed:

So what if Pioneer and Vizio are bailing out of the plasma biz forthwith? Now we have Bang & Olufsen, set to slam down this 103-inch behemoth this July, and it’s so honkin’ huge it weighs over a half a ton. This $137,000 extravagance has an automatically motorized stand that rises to reveal a weird-looking triangular-shaped center channel speaker (see the video after the jump), a speaker that’s part of the Beosound 5 audio system, a 7.1 home theater setup for which B&O sees fit to clip you an extra $5377. As if that $137K tariff wasn’t enough.

What’s five-and-a-half large on top of $137k? This isn’t a purchase in which your get chinsy on the accessories. If this TV came with a $12,000 ice cream maker, it’s coming with me. See a video of the TV in action after the jump.
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