Links

25 Idiots Who Blamed Hurricane Irene on Gay Marriage - The only gay person responsible for a hurricane is Pat Patterson. Hopefully one day we’ll decide that disasters are caused by things that happen, not things we hate. [Buzzfeed]

Supercut: Stephen Colbert Dancing - Something to make you feel better on a Monday morning. Considerably better dancing than hurricane-causing Ellen. [Warming Glow]

31 Movie Teens You Wish You’d Actually Gone to High School With - Lauren Ambrose circa Can’t Hardly Wait. Next. [FARK]

A Compendium of Cool Comics Cosplay - This week’s gallery is especially strong, thanks to appearances from Arcade AND Forbush Man. Cosplay is awesome when you do it right. [Gamma Squad]

Lil Wayne Takes a Shot at Jay-Z - Jay-Z is gonna be mad when he finds out Wayne said he never figured out how to love, thanks to all those crooks who kept trying to steal his heart. [Smoking Section]

6 Reason It’s OK to Like MTV’s Jersey Shore - Reason 1: Snooki did that Oompa Loompa cartwheel back elbow thing at Wrestlemania, and it was better than anyone assumed she could do. Reasons 2-6: unknown. [The Smoking Jacket]

The Venture Bros.’ 9 Most Musical Moments - What’s with everybody who makes good cartoons at Adult Swim deciding they also need to be rock stars? And furthermore, where is the Xavier double album? [Adult Swim]

The Best Fake Fast Food Chains - Does Arby’s count? [UGO]

The 10 Best Musical Performances of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - I honestly believe that Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young is a better musical act than most of the musical acts. Although I really like Neil Young. [Pajiba]

A Virtual Tour of Curb Your Enthusiasm Locations - Not exactly the world of the Na’vi, but still worth a look. Every location is better if you bring along an orchestra to play Wagner. [AOL TV]

Sara Jean Underwood Cosplays at Anime Expo - Seriously, why isn’t Morgan Webb doing things in her underwear anymore? Did she turn 30 and get Logan’s Run’d? I AM TIRED OF COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS. [G4TV]

The Terrific Adventures of White Mike Vick - Possibly our best feature from last week, read Burnsy’s hilarious work while I spend 20 minutes a day filtering out all the hateful comments both for and against. [With Leather]

I spent my weekend in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex (or whatever it’s called) enjoying a Cleveland Indians victory over the Texas Rangers (the only one we managed to get) and taking in a Double-A game at Dr. Pepper Ballpark between the Frisco Roughriders and the San Antonio Missions. I spent four hours of Sunday night driving from Frisco to Austin in the dark and am running on about three unsuccessful hours of sleep, so if today is nothing but links and typos, I apologize.

Sports

Nate Robinson Wants to Play NFL Football - Maybe he can get his own Disney-made movie, like Invincible. Also, not going to lie, whenever I see “Nate Robinson” I think it’s Peter Parker’s black friend from the Daily Bugle. [Smoking Section]

Dana White Issues First Ever “Thank You For Getting Those Trunks Off TV As Soon As Possible” Bonus - I didn’t think they were so bad. Then again, I watch pro wrestling, the only place you get a bonus for wearing weird crotch-grabbing sh**. [Cage Potato]

Destroying Something Beautiful: The Disappointing Comerica Park Field Stormer - Will never understand people who run onto the field, especially the ones who run out there and don’t do anything. If you’re gonna run onto the field, buy a wedding dress or prepare to get tazed or SOMETHING. [Josh's Website]

Even Peter King’s Typos Are Lofty - Yes, “lofty” is a good word to describe Peter King. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

With Leather

The Incredible History of The Muppets, Sesame Street, and Our Favorite Athletes - In a better world, this would be our most popular feature of all time. When you’re done with this, go read the Top 50 Muppets list we did at Progressive Boink. [With Leather]

Melina Splits: WWE Cleaning House - I wanted to do a Best and Worst of TNA Hardcore Justice for today, but there’s no way I’m spending three hours on Rob Van Dam this morning. Instead, go read about how sad we are all for Chris Masters. [With Leather]

The CrossFit Games - We’re still getting tons of traffic on this, and with good reason – CrossFit is crazy and Matt Ufford is great. I wish he had a website! [With Leather]

The Dugout: A-Rod’s Violent Gambling Parties - boy I swurr, et al. [The Dugout]

Not Sports

Interview with G4TV’s Jessica Chobot - I’m never going to find a G4 girl to like as much as I liked Morgan Webb, am I? I like Jessica Chobot because she looks like the domestic version of the girl from Ginger Snaps, but dislike her because of all the terrible Geek Minstrel stuff magazines do with girls who have heard of video games. [Adult Swim]

The Louis C.K./Dane Cook Scene - Just unbelievable television. “Louie” (both with and without the quotes) will make even your favorite TV shows seem phony and terrible. [Warming Glow]

Hitchcock’s First Film Found in New Zealand - I bet it’s good, too. You could give 11-year old Alfred Hitchcock a f**king Viewmaster and a five dollar bill and he’d come up with something better than anything released this summer. [Moviefone]

Meme Watch: Obama’s Hip Hop BBQ - Middle America can finally enjoy all that horrid racism we expected when we elected a black President. Obama needs to do a press conference about how the federal economy GON GET GOT. [UPROXX]

There are two major groups of people who stumble upon videos of independent pro wrestlers doing goofy sh*t:

1. Wrestling nerds. They’ll see a video (or a gif) shortly after it happens while they’re browsing their favorite wrestling forum, stuck somewhere between the petulant name-calling and the latently homosexual discussions about whether or not wrestlers have “the look”.

2. Sports writers who don’t watch wrestling (meaning they infrequently tune in to Raw) who can’t believe what they’re seeing, toss a “viral video” tag on the clip and share it to millions of like-minded individuals despite the fact that its like four years old and everybody who likes wrestling has seen it.

This happened in a big way earlier this year when a clip of the Osirian Portal using hypnosis on their opponents and causing a colossal dance party started getting covered on everything resembling Deadspin as the “most illegal move in wrestling move in history!” and again a few months later when “amazing 9-year old wrestler” Mr. No. 6 (who was six when the video first went up, hence the name) showed up on Jimmy Traina’s Hot Clicks. G4′s “Attack of the Show” has gotten into the antiquated pro wrestling clip game by featuring Chuck Taylor trying to kill ant-themed wrestlers “The Colony” with an invisible grenade. It’s funny, and you should watch it whether you like wrestling or not.

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