I left on all the watermarks in the hope that you'd believe I didn't make this.

What’s better than reading about soccer on the Internet? Reading what happens when a soccer player signs up for Twitter expecting a circle jerk and gets nothing but vulgar insults in return. That’s what happened to Manchester United midfielder Darron Gibson, who started networking socially @dgibbo28 and deleted his account in a Miley Cyrus style personal nightmare no more than two hours later.

Some of the choice Tweets include:

Darron Gibson @dgibbo28 is on Twitter, a traitor to his country and a s**** footballer.

@dgibbo28 You are a abysmal excuse for a footballer. You’re a one trick pony – a s*** one at that. What Fergie sees in you I do not know…

@dgibbo28 hasn’t tweeted yet. Seems somewhat fitting after the countless anonymous performances we’ve seen the “footballer”.

@dgibbo28 your performance on saturday was one of the worst I’ve ever seen of any utd player. scared of the ball much?

@dgibbo28 team do all hard work keeping possession then u hit row Z every f**** time!!

@dgibbo28 the biggest compliment i can give you is that you are better than Carrick

The final straw was a Tweet that read “nothing would make me happier than if we sold you this summer.” Not even a Team Bring It-style “show him some love” from teammate Rio Ferdinand could turn the tide, and now Gibson’s big memory of soccer fans on the Internet is that they’re extremely angry and passionate about soccer, to the point of hate and mania. You know, like soccer fans in real life.

I’m a little disappointed that Gibson didn’t leave his account active, but post “I’m leaving forever, goodbye!” so he could keep refreshing and see who begged him to stay.

What would happen to the New York Mets if they won a World Series in 2011? They’d accidentally drop the World Series trophy during their ticker tape parade, and probably drive over it in a double decker bus. At least, that’s what The Dugout about the Mets winning the World Series would be. So imagine my surprise when I saw Sergio Ramos of Real Madrid do that exact thing with the Copa del Rey, their first major trophy in three years.

How does this even happen? Maybe the bus driver was a fan of Barcelona. Maybe God wanted to prove that he exists by pointing out the hubris of man. Either way, that’s got to be a difficult thing to get over when it’s time to renew your contract. “Oh, yeah, that’s right, you’re the guy who dropped our trophy and got it ran over by a bus. No, wait, a DOUBLE BUS.”

We've hadone excruciating video today, a painful video with a song. Now it's time for a simply abhorrent audio track for any ladies out there still trying to get the best value for their sexual servitude. Well, Kickette digs up a parody song titled "Become a WAG," which advices the young, comely and loose of morals to embark on the high life of being a British soccer player's floozy. 

Basically do what all the girls on The Hills do, except in a way that will make famous guys attracted to you. The best way to do that? Be born with DNA that determines you will be hot later in life. So, there you go. Get on it.

I will say there needs to be a countervailing force to draw some of those, like Noemie Lenoir, away from WAGdome and onto, heh, my…WANGdom (comedy!).

Why do British soccer players' girlfriends get a term like that? What about for blogger's girls? They could be called DAGs. As in "Dag, yo, that girl is inflated!"