A few weeks back we brought you some footage of some Arkansas high school football announcers who were excited that there “ain’t no flags”, and that was a great joy that we all shared with everyone in the Natural State. But high school football is not always full of sister-kissing joy. Sometimes it can be sad and maddening, and today we have a great example of the rage that poor high school officiating can cause for some announcers.

While calling a game between the South Boston Patriots and the Worcester Patriots*, quarterback Sully O’Malley** throws what is clearly a “five yahd backwards pass”, making it a live ball, and the defender keenly grabs it and takes it to the end zone for a touchdown. But those fahkin’ refs can’t get anything right and they call it an incomplete pass, nullifying the score and ruining the lives of the two announcers. BOO! BOO YOU FREAKIN’ RETAHDS! YOU RUINED THE FAHKIN’ GAME!

Video after the jump, and there may be NSFW language but I can’t really understand half of what is being said, so exercise cahtion…

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Happy Canada Day from your good friends at With Leather! And what better way to celebrate your love of back bacon and loyalty to the queen than with some news of Canada’s national pastime? No, not moose wrestling, but proufessional foutball. The Canadian Football League has announced that it will strengthen league drug-testing policies and procedures to crack down on steroid and human growth hormone use. That is, if you’re OK with that, eh?

The league will surprise players with random screenings for a grocery list of possible drug violations – including everything from ephedrine to stanozolol – and advance notice will not exceed 24 hours, as to really catch those hosers off guard. The inclusion of hGH is a first for professional football, as the NFL has been pushing for the players union to cave in and allow it. Current NFL testing procedures include a piece of paper with “Are you taking hGH?” written on it, followed by a lot of winking.

Pass the delicious maple syrup, Pro Football Talk:

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If the French World Cup team’s antics over the weekend are any indicator of how seriously the players are taking tomorrow’s match against South Africa, then they might as well pack up their berets and baguettes and head back to Paris. On Saturday, French coach Raymond Domenech kicked striker Nicolas Anelka off the team after the two exchanged heated words, presumably in pretentious accents.

Anelka’s removal from the squad caused the rest of the team to boycott yesterday’s training session, prompting team director Jean-Louis Valentin to quit the team because he was “sickened and disgusted.” He was so visibly angered that not even a mime pretending to slip on a banana peel could cheer him up. The players, however, are maintaining that the French Soccer Football Federation didn’t have their backs and allowed Anelka to be kicked off the team without hearing their side. This marks the most fighting by French men since 1763.

Explain the merits of Existentialism to me, ESPN Soccernet:

“The French Football Federation did not at any time try to protect the group. They took a decision uniquely based on facts reported by the press. As a consequence and to show our opposition to the decision taken by officials of the federation, all the players decided not to take part in today’s training session.”

Evra and the players, en masse, boarded the team bus and drew the curtains.

Winger Franck Ribery further spoke of the embarrassing nature of this internal squabble, telling reporters, “The whole world is mocking us right now,” which caused everyone in the world to erupt with laughter. The ordeal is unusual because France was just two penalty goals short of winning the World Cup in 2006. However, that Finals appearance was marred by the antics of Zinedine Zidane, who was ejected for head-butting Italy’s Marco Materazzi, making Zidane the second manliest Frenchman of all-time, behind only Joan of Arc.

Despite their problems, the French still have a strong chance to advance with a win over host country South Africa. As long as Mexico and Uruguay don’t play to a draw, France can potentially advance and further the team’s hopes of really humiliating themselves.

Only days after the Chicago Bulls used super ultra secret back alley black market telepathic methods to beg Phil Jackson to return and save the franchise, the Zen Master has declined, telling reporters before last night’s Game 5 loss to Phoenix that he will not, under any circumstance, return to coaching the Bulls. Added everyone on the planet with an IQ above 6: “Unless they find a way to clone Michael Jordan circa 1990.”

And the news doesn’t get better for the Bulls, as their other top choice, Celtics assistant Tom Thibodeau, has been offered the New Orleans Hornets head coaching gig. Thibodeau will wait to hear the Bulls’ offer, but as long as the Celtics are still putting on their athletic diapers he’s a little tough for Bulls GM Gar Forman to get a hold of. Gar… seriously, Gar? *shakes head* Gar and Bulls VP of Basketball Operations John Paxson have also met with Lawrence “Fart Noise” Frank, Maurice “Dismissive Wank” Cheeks and Elston “Huh?” Turner.

Light a scented candle and play the Benedictine Monks, Chicago Tribune:

All season, Jackson has been consistent that he would finish his Lakers’ contract and then gauge his health and desire to return before plotting his future. Lakers owner Jerry Buss has said Jackson would be asked to reduce his $12 million salary.

“I just can’t imagine (coaching another team),” Jackson said. “Not to say it’s beyond your wildest dreams, or that it never would happen because the strangest things do. But it’s just not part of my conscious thought. Right now we’re down this path against Phoenix. Let’s go down that.”

Responded Andrew Bynum: “Phoneix? Aw, Coach, you so silly! We’re playing Boston in the Finals right now. Lil Bow Wow just dunked on Sandy Koufax!” But seriously, I’m not letting that joke die.

Jackson did not, however, deny his interest in the vacant New Jersey Nets gig. He told the reporters that he’d at least like to sit down with Nets billionaire Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov and share a glass of vodka. Then they discuss Glasnost, teach a bear how to ride a bicycle, sell some counterfeit blue jeans, throw up the metal sign at a Scorpions concert, and, if there’s time, supply arms to Iranian rebels.