Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young is at the center of a NFL investigation today after his involvement in a physical altercation at a Dallas strip club early this morning. Young allegedly struck a fellow patron of the gentleman’s establishment after he flashed an upside-down Longhorns gesture at the former Texas star. For his efforts, Young was issued a Class C assault citation, which comes with a maximum fine of $500, and is comparable to a traffic citation. Of course, that’s the “Hey, you can’t turn on red here” variety, and not the “Look out! It’s Donte Stallworth!” kind.

A statement was already issued on behalf of the NFL this morning, and the league will be investigating this situation to determine whether or not any disciplinary measures will be necessary. In fact, NFL spokesman Greg Aiello announced the league’s intention this morning via Twitter, thus making the job of “NFL spokesman” as effortless as Luke McCown.

Give me an inverted, double-flipped, backwards DeVry gesture, USA Today:

The last thing Roger Goodell needed was another high-profile player involved in an incident in a strip club…

Still, with the way that Goodell has put the hammer down on any indiscretion, you have to believe that Young will get at least a lecture from the commish.

Young has yet to release a statement, but he was most likely just upset with all the confusion about which conference the Longhorns will be playing in come 2011. Meanwhile, he’s got Lendale White crashing on his couch and eating him out of house and home. And to top it all off Kerry Collins keeps following Vince everywhere, “icing” him – in the gym, the shower, the mall, his bedroom, and finally at a Dallas strip club – so Young was probably just under a lot of pressure.

While nobody was left with a life-threatening injury or paralysis, Adam “Pacman” Jones reached out to Young this morning to assure him that if he works hard and continues to put forth an effort of 110 percent, then maybe one day he, too, can be involved in a real strip club altercation.

Surveillance footage of the big, sloppy fight is available after the jump.

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This might be a couple weeks old, but it’s still another float in the parade of questionable judgement in high school coaching continues, so here it is. We go to, ironically enough, the Beaver State of Oregon. Michael Todd (not pictured), who was the baseball coach at Portland Lincoln High School, resigned from that position after school administrators learned that he allegedly took three students to a strip club on a team trip in San Francisco.

From The Oregonian:

Two volunteer coaches who went to the strip club also resigned Friday, Cowie said. Their identities were not released, and Cowie said he did not know the coaches’ relationship to team members or the Southwest Portland school.

The strip-club incident was reported to school officials by students who had heard about it from baseball team members, Cowie said.

The resignation comes six weeks after another Lincoln coach, David Adelman, was arrested on accusations of driving under the influence of intoxicants.

Adelman, the boys’ basketball coach and son of Houston Rockets coach Rick Adelman, remains on staff pending disciplinary measures. Most people would say that the DUI is so much worse than taking high-school aged kids someplace they’d probably end up anyway, but strips clubs are no place for young adults. You know how much a Diet Coke is in a strip club?! It’s like five bucks! Is that the kind of thing we really want our kids to be around?

Current Oakland A and former New York Yankee Jason Giambi told the San Francisco Chronicle that his post-retirement plans could involve “Maybe [being a] bouncer at a strip joint. That’s about all I’m qualified to do.” It appears that Giambi will have at least one taker:

Rick’s Cabaret New York (50 W 33 Street) wants Giambi to know that they will employ him as soon he is ready. “The Rick’s Girls love Jason,” said Rick’s Cabaret spokesperson Lonnie Hanover. “They would be glad to work with him.”

“He may think that he is only qualified to be a bouncer, but we think that he would make a good VIP host,” Hanover explained. “Rick’s is well known as the gentlemen’s club of choice for celebrities and sports stars, and Jason would often see a lot of his old teammates.”

It’s great to have options after retirement. Especially when those options involves scantily-clad women in poorly-lit rooms with overpriced beverages. But I don’t want Jason Giambi anywhere near my erection. There’s a reason that Al Gore invented porn: so we’d have something to find on Google Image Search on those lonely nights. That was Gore, right? Or was it Al Green? I get those two mixed up all the time.

Former University of Kentucky basketball star and NBA journeyman Ron Mercer got into a brouhaha at a Nashville strip club:

Police said Mercer's friend, 34-year-old Robert Edward Johnson, was also charged with felony aggravated assault for stabbing a bouncer at the club in the same incident. The pair got into a verbal argument with a dancer at Anthony's Show Place on April 21 and were asked to leave by the security guard, Keith Battle. A fight broke out among the three men and Johnson admitted to police that he stabbed the bouncer in the right side and shoulder with a knife. Battle was not seriously hurt. Another bouncer, William Beels Jr., was punched in the face by Mercer, police said.

Who among us can't sympathize with Mr. Mercer?  I mean your buddy gave that dancer an extra $5 for a "special" lap dance, and the harlot has the nerve to slap you when you gently lick her thigh?  Honestly, where did you receive your training Miss?  But I suppose Ron only has himself to blame if he's hanging out with somebody named Robert Johnson.  I heard he sold his soul to the devil at the crossroads. -KD

{A Pudge is a Sandwich}