Wanderlei Silva Wants To Drink Chael Sonnen’s Blood

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.15.13

Wanderlei Silva Chael Sonnen blood

Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen have a lovely history. A couple of years ago, Silva gave Sonnen calm, constructive feedback about how the positives of fight promotion don’t outweigh the need to respect your opponents. Sonnen meekly accepted it with a “thank you.” Years later, SUDDENLY~, Sonnen thought Silva’s feedback was a “dirtbag move,” claiming he didn’t know what Silva was actually saying and vowing to “straighten this thing out.” Because, you know, as we’ve seen, Chael Sonnen’s trash talk always leads to something positive for him.

Anyway, word of the call-out has gotten back to Silva, and he responded with a conversational knockout blow on Fuel’s ‘UFC Tonight’:

“Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have been too nice to Chael. I want to suck his blood. I want to smell it. Not just fight – I want to hurt him. Chael is a joke, man. He’s going to be second forever. He’s never going to be first,” Silva said to Ariel Helwani. (via Cagewriter)

Ouch. That’s certainly a more valid and damning criticism than Sonnen’s “he uploaded a video to YouTube without my approval” angle. And check out that swift escalation from “you’re a dirtbag” to “I’m going to drain you of your blood with my mouth and also smell it because I hate you and your life is meaningless.”

Good luck with that, Chael. Maybe you should try calling out Bob Sapp?

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UFC Fighters Choose Which Super Hero They’d Be, Can Kinda-Sorta Name Super Heroes

Written by Brandon Stroud / 11.30.12

BeastmanFuel’s Ultimate Answers segment (which I’ll pretend is entirely written and organized by Brittney Palmer) asked a bunch of UFC fighters which superhero they would be. Some of the answers are surprisingly nerdy — Rashad Evans earns endless cool points from me for wanting to be Nightcrawler, and Demetrious Johnson has a pretty solid understanding of how the Green Lantern’s ring works — but some are just straight-up meathead terrible, like Donald Cerrone saying he wants to be “The Invisible Man” (direct quote: “OM BE VISIBLE MAN”).

The funniest offense is from Brodus Clay Tito ORTIZ, who says he wants to be “Beastman” from the X-Men because of his intelligence. As YouTube user Kevin Hall points out, “he’s actually called Beast, so there goes your intelligence.” I like to think that Tito got the name right and instead got the TEAM wrong, and really just wants to be Beastman from ‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’. “I wanna be a big orange guy who looks kinda scary, but sucks and never accomplishes anything, and is less effective a henchman than the guy with a robot mouth and a mer-man in a breastplate!” Jenna Jameson could be either of those two.

Oh, and before I forget, f**k BJ Penn for wanting to be Superman because he’s “better than all the other superheroes”. If I get to pick, I’m being Captain Marvel, so I can kick BJ Penn’s ass.

[h/t to Jessica @ Leg Kick TKO]

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