As always, I’d like to preface this post about fantasy football by saying that I do not, under any circumstance, believe that I am an expert. And as always, I will say that anyone who claims to be a fantasy football expert and does not win his or her league every year and post the results for us to see is a douche liar. I’m just a dude who loves competition among friends and a reason to cheer a little harder for games I don’t give a sh*t about on Sundays.

That said, I take fantasy football way too seriously sometimes. Everyone does. But a friend forwarded me an email yesterday morning (from a friend of a friend of a friend) and I believe that we have found THE person who takes fantasy football way too seriously. WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. Now, I need to make a few things clear:

1) I do not know the person who wrote this email. It was forwarded to me through multiple parties, so I can profess my ignorance if the person who wrote it comes hunting for my blood.

2) I have left out the names of the people involved, as to not humiliate the people involved.

3) I have also edited out some mentions of work and school, so that it’s even harder to identify the people.

Basically, I expect to receive an email at some point from one really angry fantasy football commissioner, but until then, I present to you a 100% real fantasy football email that proves that we all take this stuff way too seriously.

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"Kickpuncher" is always relevant.

It is the year 2006 A.D and nuclear war has ravaged the planet… sorry, anytime kickboxing is brought up, my mind automatically shifts to Kickpuncher, the fake movie that should be real. Thankfully, we can get our heartwarming kickboxing news out of the way this week with a video of a championship bout between two best friends. But before any of you Hollywood types starts going bonkers trying to purchase the rights, let me make a few points:

1) We already had Warrior last year, and that was a decent enough movie. The unwritten law of feel-good fighting movies is that we should have at least one year between productions. Sure, that’s my rule, but trust me, it’s a good one.

B) We don’t really know much about this video, so they could have agreed to make the match quick and presumably painless for the sake of collecting and splitting the winnings. Let’s not go honoring these bros until we know that they were legitimate.

III) They should both have smoking hot sisters who are roommates in college. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

I know, I don’t know how I’m not a studio executive either.

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