Mater Dei School’s principal is Harvey Dent. He’s the type who leaves things like “will we have school today” to chance. He organized an assembly and gave his students the opportunity to be off the Monday after Super Bowl XLVII, but only if they could make free throws under pressure.

He let an eighth-grader shoot a three-pointer for the day off, and the eighth-grader failed. A seventh-grader failed, too.

Finally, first-grader Blake Harper stepped up to the free throw line for his shot at glory. Spoiler alert: he drains the shot, and is then immediately overtaken by a zombie wave of excited school children (including a tall, blonde kid who I’ll assume is their leader, because he holds up his arms and steps back to survey his works). No report on how Blake or the others spent their Monday, but I guess at least one of them spent it in traction.

You are a true hero to anyone who loves weird principals and hates going to school, Blake.

[h/t to Bob's Blitz]

When you see a video titled “worst free throw ever,” your first thought is probably, “it can’t be worse than X free throw I’ve seen from Y person who is objectively terrible at free throws.” In this example, Y = Shaq, and X = every free throw ever tried by Shaq. You’re thinking he just airballed it, or he accompanied it with some stupid gesture to get people on the Internet all hyperbolic about how assy he is at basketball. You would be wrong, because holy shit, this is the worst free throw ever.

The video made the rounds this weekend — I’m giving the hat-tip to Jon Bois, because he’s the most trusted name in “things that make Brandon laugh” — and … how do I even explain it? Just watch it. It’s like watching a guy try to shoot free throws with a bowling ball. You know it’s bad when the announcers break out “I’m not sure WHAT that was” and “good lowered.”

Video is below.

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"Dude, that was awesome! Also, we still want to trade you."

It’s really strange looking at last night’s NBA Playoffs scores and seeing that the Chicago Bulls have been eliminated. The Bulls were supposed to meet the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals, and not another team in the East stood a chance against either of them. It was going to be LeBron James/Dwyane Wade/Chris Bosh vs. Derrick Rose/Joakim Noah/Luol Deng in the battle of a team that depends on three guys and a team.

But then that team was apparently in a train crash, because Rose went down with a torn ACL and Noah sprained his ankle and everything went to hell. Perhaps 76ers coach Doug Collins put it best after his team pulled off the 4-2 series victory with a 79-78 win over the East’s top seed last night.

“I don’t know how we won this game.”

The 76ers won the game because Andre Iguodala, the guard they’ve been trying to trade for the past year or so, hit the turbo boosters with a rebound on Omer Asik’s second missed free throw with 7 seconds left and went coast-to-coast to miss a layup but make two free throws to win the game. And those two free throws might guarantee that a team will come calling for a veteran like Iguodala, despite the fact that he’s owed more than $30 million over the next two seasons.

In case you missed it, you can watch the play that made millions of Bulls fans wonder, “How the f*ck did this happen?” after the jump.

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