You wish, Yankees.

With Spring Training here, it’s time for the most important part of any Major League Baseball preseason – checking out what kind of free stuff teams will be giving away this season. Naturally, most major market and successful teams worth a lick will be giving away the standards like t-shirts and hats, but teams that don’t do as well in drawing fans are sort of like fat girls in the bedroom, in that they need to be better at… certain things.

No team knows this better than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who are trying to gain more fan support not only for the sake of making money, but also to secure a new stadium deal. Of course this means that the team would need some pretty sweet freebies for the Rays faithful, and according to Tampa Bay Times beat writer Marc Topkin, Rays fans will be getting only the best this season.

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Here’s the deal, folks – before you get all riled up and excuse me of being a liberal blogger just looking to jump on the “Everybody make fun of Mitt Romney!” train, know that I’m a huge fan of capitalism but I also hate every single politician on this planet equally. However, that doesn’t mean this isn’t an excuse to bag on Romney, because when I saw the above image posted at The Superficial yesterday, I told my fellow Female Body Inspectors over there that I couldn’t wait to fire up the Ol’ Photoshops on it.

And then I thought, “No. That’s no fun at all.”

We’ve got a perfectly good Olympics underway with hundreds of pictures flying all over the place daily, and I also have a box full of With Leather t-shirts that need homes so I can order the new design and my C-Tates shirts. I simply cannot have clutter in my bitchin’ party house. So we’re going to play a game and I’m giving out a bunch of t-shirts.

The first game is to answer the question: “What the heck is Mitt Romney looking at?” What’s causing him to grin that evil grin at the Olympics? Also, what’s making Ann Romney so uneasy? Post your picture responses in the comments. (HINT: I saw one picture yesterday from the Olympics that will automatically win one shirt.) And then join me after the jump for the second game.

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All four No. 1 teams remain as the Sweet 16 is ready for Thursday’s NCAA Tournament action, and I’d say that’s pretty remarkable considering how crazy these games have been. Two 2-seeds and two 3-seeds have been booted, and a few of them were heavy favorites to win it all – especially by one certain jackass, who had Missouri defeating Florida State in the National Championship game. Ha, I mean who could be that stupid? *loosens tie, looks around nervously*

But you guys, you’re the real prognosticators, as there were 8 freaking upsets on Friday and 22 commenters correctly guessed 5 of them. Well, 22 people guessed the winners and 2 people didn’t bother including scores, so *fart noise* to them. Unfortunately, the rules only permitted 5 winners. Hmmm, 5 upsets and just 5 t-shirts, I wonder if that means that the prediction with the closest score from each upset wins a t-shirt. Yes, that’s exactly what it means.

Without further ado, Friday’s big swag winners are:

NC State 79, SDSU 65: “Guest” (71-67)
Ohio 65, Michigan 60: “Starks” (64-58)
Purdue 72, St. Mary’s 69: “SenatorThimble” (74-66)
USF 58, Temple 44: “UFGrad” (60-53)
Xavier 67, ND 63: “Mighty914″ (69-65)
UPDATE: “Mattox” had Lehigh over Duke. And “Codename Duchess” also had the closer score on Xavier over ND, so you two email me addresses and shirt sizes. Apologies.

(Disclaimer: Previous shirt winners were excluded, not that it really mattered.)

Congrats, you Miss Cleos, and email me your addresses and shirt sizes to BurnsyWL@gmail.com. All you other disenfranchised and discouraged Nostradamuses, keep your chins up, because we’ll be back Thursday with another giveaway. There will be t-shirts (including the most limited edition vintage style) and possibly much, much more, pending the results of my robot that was designed to steal Kate Upton’s underwear. Oh no, why did I give it the ability to sniff?

Leave your expressions of rage, rotten produce and stories of bracket pool grief in the comments.

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Yesterday’s first installment of our With Leather March Madness Interactivity Extravaganza taught me two things:

1) I suck at naming things.
B) March Madness is the funnest for real, you guys.

I have to admit, I’m a bit relieved that Long Beach State didn’t pull off the upset over New Mexico, because that seemed to be the popular choice yesterday and I didn’t want to have to tell any precious faces that they weren’t getting With Leather t-shirts, because I want you to love me like Kate Upton dressed as a sexy Santa Claus… holy hell that needs to happen.

Sorry, I got distracted. So it turns out that 6 of you maniacs emulated my brilliance by choosing VCU as the upset of the day, and bingo bango bongo you’re all getting With Leather t-shirts. Mainly because I need to get them out of my office already. Sadly, this generosity might not be able to carry over, so enjoy it while it lasts, winners:

Erswi (I’m putting yours in a bottle and throwing it into the Gulf of Mexico, so keep an eye out)
MG
Bodhi Zafa
Roddy Piper
Tom Selleck’s Mustache
Solek22

UPDATE: Total egregious oversight on my part, Colorado’s late upset of UNLV also earned t-shirts for:

Seanthomasc
JesusIzANazCarFan

Email me your addresses to BurnsyWL@gmail.com and I’ll throw your vintage tees in the mail. And I swear they won’t take a month like the last time. Now, on to today’s prize, the With Leather second edition t-shirts.

Same plan as yesterday – vote in the poll (for my well-being) and submit your upset pick and final score in the comments. Up to 5 winners will receive t-shirts this time, so make sure your crystal meth ball is polished.

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Hands off, Jane. We saw her first.

In case you missed it on Saturday, because you were outside socializing with people or trying to make this world a better place or something, we re-launched the With Leather Interview with our new best buddy and 2011 Nationwide Series Champion Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. And even better than just me yapping it up with NASCAR’s superstar-to-be is the fact that if Stenhouse has a great run in the No. 6 car at the Daytona 500, we may be sending one of our readers to the Sprint All-Star Race in May. But there’s just one teeny weeny little problem…

The Daytona 500 has to happen first.

For the first time in the race’s history, the race was postponed because of weather yesterday. Florida ruins everything, dammit. The race, which will feature our beloved Kate Upton as the co-Grand Marshal with Glee‘s Jane Lynch, was re-scheduled to take place today at noon, but it obviously isn’t happening yet, because I’m not at a bar screaming, “Turn left!” Instead, the race will now run tonight at 7 PM ET on Fox, but you might want to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn’t get postponed again.

But once the race finally happens, I’ll be Tweeting up a storm about Stenhouse’s status and I’m counting on you With Leatherites to follow and cheer him along with the hashtag #WithLeatherWithRicky. I’ve got some brand new With Leather t-shirts to give away, but our main goal will be to pick one of you scoundrels to head to Charlotte, NC in May if Stenhouse finishes better than the drivers that have been assigned to other sites that are undoubtedly full of doodieheads.

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