Deal with it.

The 2011 Presidents Cup came and went without much fanfare, mainly because the U.S. rules while the rest of the world drools. To be fair, that’s the rest of the world without Europe, because the motherland’s best golfers save their efforts for the Ryder Cup, at which the U.S. does the bulk of the sucking. But this weekend’s win improved the American team’s record at the Presidents Cup to 7-1-1, and the hubbub surrounding this year’s W is all about Tiger Woods.

First off, U.S. captain Fred Couples received a lot criticism for choosing Woods over PGA champion Keegan Bradley. Couples, though, reminded everyone that Woods will always be the best golfer in the world to him, so he was banking on that guy showing up. And though Woods accounted for just 2 of America’s 19 points, he did give the best performance of the event in his singles match on Sunday, so of course Couples is doing a little air humping.

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Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. That purpose? Showing the young whippersnappers how it is done on the hallowed grounds of Augusta National Golf Club. In 1492, when Ponce de León sailed the ocean blue, after landing at Plymouth Rock, he should have hopped in his SUV, got on I-95 and made his way south to Augusta, because it is possible the Fountain of Youth is located somewhere in Amen Corner.

Sixty-year-old Tom Watson and fifty-year-old Freddy Couples each turned back the clock yesterday at the Masters, with both posting their best scores ever at the major. Watson shot a 67, and Couples, wearing tennis shoes with no socks, fired a 66, good enough for sole possession of first place heading into the second round today. The guy who has moved on to dominate the Champions Tour has a long way to go before Sunday, but feels like he could win it.

“Yeah, to win Augusta at age 50 would be a pipe dream,” Couples said yesterday. “Can I still win? Of course. It would be a nice dream, but I’ve got a lot of golf left before I’m even in contention (on Sunday). I’m not surprised, but I’m thrilled. I thought I could come here and play well.” -New York Post.

God, I love pipe dreams. Wait, that doesn’t sound right.

Couples and Watson weren’t the only old codgers attracting attention yesterday, as 70 80-year-old Arnold Palmer and 60 70-year-old Jack Nickalus got the tournament kicked off as ceremonial starters, and it is sad to admit that their backswings, even at their advanced ages, are still way more fluid than mine. But at the same time, I’m kind of a duffer.

So, in the end, age, wisdom, experience and incontinence won out during the first round of the Masters.

That Tiger guy? Yeah, he did a’ight, too. Good for him.