In news that should make blue collar Americans vomit all over their unemployment checks, embattled Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt, who is reportedly close to $550 million in debt while he publicly struggles with his humiliating divorce, has been offered $1.2 billion for his team. According to the Los Angeles Times, the offer is straight cash, homey, and is being proposed by Bill Burke, who heads up the L.A. Marathon.

Now I’m sure you’re wondering, “Hey Burnsy, aren’t you worth $1.2 billion and how can the guy who runs a marathon afford that much cash?” Well, the answers are much more and he can’t. That’s why the most of that money is coming directly from the People’s Republic of China. Of course that has some people coughing, “Bullsh*t.”

The bid was received with skepticism within MLB, where executives wondered whether the proposal might be used by McCourt to stir negotiations with other potential buyers or to persuade a Bankruptcy Court judge to keep McCourt in charge of the team.

“There are questions within the sports industry about whether this is a genuine offer,” said one industry consultant who works extensively with MLB and other professional sports leagues.

Let’s pretend for a second that this offer is legit and Bud Selig and the MLB approve the sale. McCourt bought the team in 2004 for $430 million. He and his wife ran the team into the ground with management that would make Congress laugh, to the point that he owes more than half a billion. Of course, he won’t profit and is still a loser if this deal goes through, since he’ll still have to settle his divorce and split everything with his wife.

But he could still make out with a few hundred million, which is just downright depressing when you think about how this jackass is falling ass backwards into salvation. Lane Kiffin is going to have to pull a miracle out of his ass to top this and maintain his title as the Most Undeserving Successful Guy in Sports.

The Dodgers are bankrupt, and their situation isn’t getting any better. From a report posted last night on CBS Sports’ Eye on Baseball:

The Los Angeles Dodgers — who recently filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection — issued payroll checks to some “game day staff members” that bounced, according to TMZ.com. The website actually obtained a check for $497.54 that shows it was returned to the employee by the bank and was stamped with “refer to maker,” which means there were insufficient funds in the Dodgers’ account. The check was signed by Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and issued on June 24. TMZ notes the Dodgers said that some checks did bounce but have since been reissued.

In the meantime, Dodgers employees better not spend their money until their paycheck definitely clears.

And that brings us to today’s Dugout, which covers the bouncing checks and finds out exactly what Frank McCourt has been doing with his giant pile of burning money. It follows.

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Still riding the high of winning the NBA Championship, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban took his trash out this morning and when he opened the lid a TMZ reporter popped out and asked him if he’d like to buy the Los Angeles Dodgers. At least that’s how I imagine it happened. And sure enough, Cuban said he’s definitely interested in purchasing the troubled franchise, just like he was interested in buying the troubled Chicago Cubs and the troubled Texas Rangers.

But as much as Cuban blabbers about wanting to purchase another professional sports franchise, preferably in Major League Baseball, the chances are very slim that he’s going to do so, especially a team like the Dodgers. Because, you see, Cuban is a smart man unlike Frank McCourt, who is – how should I put it? – a flaming bag of dead poop monkey brains.

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Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt continues to show the respect and grace that made him a great husband and one of the best owners in baseball by going on MSNBC Thursday and accusing commissioner Bud Selig of “ducking” him. Bud is such a wimp, Frank told him to meet him at the bus stop after school for a fight and Bud didn’t even show up!

“I want to talk to Bud, and I want to know why he’s ducking me,” McCourt said during an appearance on MSNBC Thursday. “I’m here to solve a problem, not make a problem, and you know, we’ll deal with the next steps if he says. I can’t make a person talk to me and can’t make a person focus on the issue.”

One step away from turning into Bryce on season two of “The Joe Schmo Show” (eesh, I typed that and even I don’t get the reference), McCourt insists that if he could “just talk” to Bud, the Dodgers’ issues would be resolved and everything would be fine.

“I just want to talk to Bud … I’m sure I’ll learn a lot more. You know, guys, we all you know run into different jams at different times, and how do you solve them? You communicate.”

He’s like that awful guy on the Internet who quotes your paragraph and responds to it line by line, insisting that HE isn’t the one getting mad, YOU’RE the one getting mad. Stuff like this reminds you of why Jamie McCourt had to go get her headaches healed by John Redcorn. Okay, that one I get.

Hey gang! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank With Leather for allowing me to contribute to the Dugout again. It is truly one of the best things that I have had the honor of being a part of, and writing today’s strip brought back a lot of fond memories. It was a lot of fun reading B’s Dugouts and seeing Jon’s return recently, but I really missed being a part of it.

The Dodgers are about to transform into a pile of mealy horse vomit. The messy divorce of two boring white people has spilled onto the diamond. The players, fans, and employees of the Los Angeles Dodgers will all be affected, if not ground into a fine powder and made into blue glue. Maybe Selig will sell the team to Donald Trump and by presidential decree the Dodgers will make it to the NLCS and actually put up a fight. Please do enjoy this very magical chat room.

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Major League Baseball has taken control of the Los Angeles Dodgers in an effort to keep the storied franchise from becoming an especially terrible episode of “Yes, Dear.” The team has been “increasingly paralyzed” by the bitter divorce of its owners, Frank and Jamie McCourt, and after like two years of ham-fisted bickering and accusations of malfeasance and bodyguard-driver laying, somebody finally stepped in and said “you are milliionaires, stop acting like dumb babies.”

In news that should surprise nobody, the Dodgers themselves have no idea what is happening.

General manager Ned Colletti: “I consider it a sad day for baseball and a sad day for the Dodgers.”

Acclaimed wordsmith Don Mattingly: “It’s hard to imagine it would happen somewhere like the Dodgers, but there’s crazy stuff going on everywhere.”

Frank McCourt: “Major League Baseball sets strict financial guidelines, which all 30 teams must follow … The Dodgers are in compliance with these guidelines. On this basis, it is hard to understand the commissioner’s action today.”

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