NMA should turn this into an ongoing series. I want to know what happened to the poor Dodgers fan who had a McCourt lurking in his bushes.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

The Animated GIF Bracket’s Final Four: Where Dreams And Nightmares Come True - YANKEE ENTHUSIASTS was robbed, that thing should win a Pulitzer. Please continue to vote MORTIFIED MICHIGAN PUNTER into the championship. [SB Nation]

Tommy Lee Jones And AMC Are Developing A Show About Football - I hope it’s just football guys going “I DIDN’T FUMBLE THAT BALL” and Tommy Lee Jones saying, “I don’t care!” [Warming Glow]

The 15 Greatest Knockouts in ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ History - Gifs of people being punched to death are a great way to start your Friday. Poor Solomon Hutcherson. [Cage Potato]

The South Park Memeing Episode: Instant Classic And KSK Relevant - Also, Everywhere Relevant. Here’s to hoping Faith Hilling doesn’t take off. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Conan’s Celebrity ‘Why Would You Tweet That?’ Bit Killed Last Night - Lenny Kravitz’s first love being “recording the same song over and over” is amazing. Maybe he’s like the lady from 50 First Dates. [UPROXX]

Two Boss Ways To Play Mario Kart - The day I was most jealous is when I found out the Cleveland Indians scoreboard guys played Madden on it. If I got to play Double Dash on that thing, I’d feel like God. [Gamma Squad]

Pranked Texas Granny Demands an Apology from Justin Bieber - Get in line, lady. [The FW]

Latest Entrant Into The Epic Drunk Hall Of Fame - A guy in a sombrero wears boxing gloves, jumps onto a cop car and shouts his name. Then he takes THIS mug shot. Worth your time. [Film Drunk]

Question Of The Day: Kidada Or Rashida Jones? - How is this even a question? What’s tomorrow’s question of the day, Alison Brie or the guy that plays Leonard? [Smoking Section]

Apparently Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Will Rock Out To Earth’s Crappiest Soundtrack - You sorta don’t expect it to be that bad when you read the headline, but holy sh*t, Papa Roach? In 2012? What is this, the WWE? [Pajiba]

Cats Vs. Dinosaurs - Technically don’t cats win for still being alive? [Buzzfeed]

Nothing that follows “Taiwanese Animation explained the ownership woes of the Los Angeles Dodgers by” should be surprising, but damn if after seeing Tim Tebow stab a dolphin, Yao Ming hatch from a basketball and Manny Ramirez kick dirt on his wife I wasn’t still surprised when Bud Selig showed out of nowhere on trapeze wires and lopped off Frank McCourt’s hand with butcher knife. He should start grappling down behind people and threatening them at knife-point like that in real life. Oh, you want a salary cap? /waggles machete

After the image of McCourt’s blood-gushing stump, the best (and possibly worst) moment in the video is the Los Angeles Dodgers being referred to as “damaged goods” and depicted as a transvestite hooker who may or may not be Hong-Chih Kuo in short-shorts. At some point you’d think embed-hoarding, expressed-written-consent Major League Baseball would find one of these and send Taiwan a “stop depicting our baseball teams as whores” letter.

"Only half of you will receive paychecks this week. The other half will fight to the death."

Embattled Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt has not only been going through a nasty divorce, but he’s also been fighting with every last ounce of his being to maintain his ownership of the Los Angeles Dodgers. McCourt, who bought the team with his then-wife for $421 million in 2004, has been accused by Major League Baseball of “looting” $189 million of the Dodgers’ assets for his own personal use, and Bud Selig and league officials have acted accordingly and issued a punishment that will make all owners shake in their alligator-skinned, gold-tipped boots.

The league has finally crushed McCourt’s will to fight, and he has agreed to sell the team, the stadium and all related property for a pathetic $1 billion. WHAT A LOSER!

“The Los Angeles Dodgers and Major League Baseball announced that they have agreed today to a court-supervised process to sell the team and its attendant media rights in a manner designed to realize maximum value for the Dodgers and their owner, Frank McCourt. The Blackstone Group LP will manage the sale process.”

(Via the Los Angeles Times)

In reality, McCourt won’t make a profit off of this sale after he pays off his ex-wife, the family of Bryan Stow, and settles the rest of his debts, but in a fair world, failed ventures like this should be met with justice. McCourt should have to start over with nothing while an elementary school janitor hands him a mop and wishes him the best before a kid pukes all over his leg. Man, that would be glorious.

Instead, McCourt will fade into the sunset with a few hundred million dollars to his name, and whatever he’s hiding in the Caribbean and Switzerland, and a new owner will ride into town. And just as they were a few months ago, Dodgers fans are praying that new owner is Mark Cuban, who remains interested in purchasing the team, which is awesome for the sport, but terrible for my blood pressure and prayer of Albert Pujols staying in St. Louis.

Hey Dodgers fans, remember the good old days, back when Frank McCourt was a principled, passionate businessman who pulled himself up by the bootstraps and led L.A. to championship prosperity alongside his beautiful, fresh-faced wife Jamie? Are you able to recall how Baseball Camelot dissolved into a two-year long hodge podge of bankruptcy, behind-closed-doors usurping and “who owns which parking lot”-style tough guy back-and-forth? Well, 24 months and $20.6 million in legal bills later, the McCourts have reached a Dodgers-related divorce settlement, readying fans for a return to … well, one of those times.

From the LAT Sports page:

Frank and Jamie McCourt have reached a divorce settlement under which she would get about $130 million and relinquish any claim to a share of the Dodgers, multiple people familiar with the agreement told The Times.

The settlement would remove Jamie McCourt as an obstacle to Frank McCourt’s plan to retain ownership of the team by selling the Dodgers’ television rights in U.S. Bankruptcy Court. The agreement also would appear to set up a winner-take-all court showdown for the Dodgers between Frank McCourt and Commissioner Bud Selig.

As straight-forward as that reads, even that gets followed by a “the people familiar with the agreement spoke on condition of anonymity because the settlement has not been finalized”. That’s really the defining statement of the costliest divorce in California history; if the Los Angeles Times posted a story saying “Frank McCourt says sky is blue” they’d have to follow it with “however, due to outstanding legal claims, the McCourts would like to announce that the atmosphere and light scattering contribute to the sky’s purported blueness, though the science could neither be confirmed or denied at this time”.

The other key is the “winner-take-all court showdown” line, which hopefully leads to Frank McCourt and Bud Selig battling each other with pugil sticks on raised platforms above a room filled waist-high with Manny Ramirez dread-wigs.

The NBA Players Union and owners will meet again today to continue their efforts to close the gap on what is believed to be a difference of anywhere from $2-4 billion in a new collective bargaining agreement. With the first week of training camps and preseason games already canceled, both league officials and players union reps have admitted that they are worried about the season starting on time. Gee, maybe they all should have thought about that when they took July and August off.

But the legal eagles at The AM Law Daily did a little number crunching last night and they came to a conclusion that may very well blow your minds – lawyers make a lot of money off of lockouts. To be specific, lawyers make a lot of money representing professional sports players unions, but it appears that one lawyer and law firm seem to be making a little more money than the rest.

Dewey & LeBoeuf, whose global litigation chair Jeffrey Kessler serves as lead outside counsel to the NBPA in its current labor negotiations, has earned nearly $1.1 million in fees in connection with its union work from July 2005 through June 2010.

Dewey’s ties to pro basketball start with Kessler, who joined predecessor firm Dewey Ballantine in 2003 from Weil, Gotshal & Manges, where he was part of a litigation group that represented unions for players in the NBA and National Football League. (Kessler recently helped NFL players reach their own labor deal over the summer.)

You may remember Kessler as the guy who allegedly threw Logan Mankins under the bus as the NFL Lockout was seemingly settled by giving his name to the media as one of the players demanding separate concessions from the CBA, thus extending the lockout and presumably the zeroes on his hourly bills. You may also remember Dewey & LeBoeuf as one of the law firms from the Frank McCourt/Los Angeles Dodgers bankruptcy drama, because they’re being accused of overcharging McCourt by a federal trustee.

Read the rest of this entry »

"Can we pawn this?"

In news that should surprise absolutely no one, embattled Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt is possibly being grossly over-billed by his bankruptcy attorneys. In fact, his case’s federal trustee is alleging that the firms of Dewey & LeBoeuf of Los Angeles and Young, Conaway, Stargatt & Taylor of Delaware have overcharged McCourt for consultation by as much as 21%. He currently owes more than $1.66 million in lawyer fees, of which $352,000 should not be owed.

Seriously, who gave this moron money?

The trustee argued that the firms should not be paid for efforts to keep confidential the fees associated with Dodgers owner Frank McCourt’s initial financing proposal and should not be paid for efforts to pursue that loan even after Major League Baseball countered by offering an unsecured loan.

“It should have been apparent to Debtors’ highly experienced and highly qualified bankruptcy counsel” that the efforts on both fronts were not necessary and did not benefit the Dodgers and thus were “not compensable,” according to the filing. (Via The Los Angeles Times)

Of course both firms are denying that they’ve overcharged and they contend that they’re owed every penny. And knowing a little about how the legal system works, I’m pretty positive that they’ll get every penny. It just goes to show that my old theory stands strong – you can never trust anyone named LaBoeuf.