French pole vaulter Romain Mesnil had his endorsement deal with Nike lapse and no other sponsor has come forward. So Mesnil did what any Frenchman would do — run through the streets with nothing but his pole. Seriously, I was there in the summer and it’s practically en epidemic.

The 31-year-old, who won a silver medal at the 2007 World Championships in Osaka, must find new financial support after his contract with Nike ended last year.

The muscular athlete blamed the deepening global recession, saying: “It was probably for budgetary and strategic reasons. It’s the crisis.”

He added: “In my mind, it was an opportunity to do something funny.

We jumped the vid because of a bit of crack around the 10-second mark, but it’s totally wang-free. The last thing any of you need is to fall in love. Read the rest of this entry »

Lance Armstrong (you remember him, right?) has been training in southern France for another race in his coming-out-of-retirement tour when he was approached by the AFLD, France’s anti-doping agency for a sample to test. And just when Ol’ One Ball was ready to whip it out and fill up a cup, they asked him for hair. From Y! News:

“He was surprised we asked for a hair sample, he asked some questions,” Jean-Pierre Verdy, the AFLD’s operating chief, told Reuters after an AFLD meeting on Wednesday.

AFLD President Pierre Bordry told a news conference the move was also aimed at showing Armstrong he was “a rider like any other.”

“He must know that he is like everybody else,” said Bordry.

Yeah, he’s just like every other Yankee scum that won our marquee bike race seven times. I’m amazed some Pierre hasn’t gone Jeff Gilloly on him yet. I always thought Armstrong went back into racing to boost his Q rating back to the point where he didn’t have to pay for sex. Hey, count your blessings Lance, that could have been your corpse lying in Mary Kate Olsen’s apartment. Is it laying or lying? Eh, he got an Oscar; who cares…

Yoann Gourcuff, a French midfielder for Bordeaux, celebrated his team’s victory over Valenciennes in style this weekend.  Rawr!  Running around pantsless matches well with this interview that he gave not long after he arrived in Bordeaux on loan from AC Milan:

Gourcuff:I am someone quite mysterious. I like to keep things to myself and not reveal too much. (…)

Gold FM: Is this a form of protection?
Gourcuff: Absolutely, I am really loose on the field or when I’m in an intimate circle with my family and friends. When you’re a public figure, it is important to pay attention to your image, remaining discreet.

Indeed.  He’s very restrained and discreet, shying away from human eyes like an endangered species in New Zealand.  Why, no one will ever see him in bikini-brief underwear but his intimate circle of thousands and thousands of paying fans.

[Video at Kickette]

Just so you know who’s who, that’s Toulon in the black jerseys, while Stade Francais players wear the tie-dyed pink and aqua abortions.  Using that information, see if you can guess which team has a guy that runs around knocking people down with single punches to the face. The answer may shock you. If you’re gay.

In case you missed it, here's the video of the USA relay team's amazing win against France in the 4×100 freestyle relay. 

Generally, I don't like posting any video that's longer than three minutes, but holy crap this is a helluva race.  I grew up spending my summers on a swim team, and I saw a relay comeback like this once, ever.  And it was because the person with the lead was a summer-only swimmer, and the guy who made the comeback swam year-round and competed in national meets.  It wasn't exactly smashing a world record to catch the 100-meter world record holder.

Goddam it's a good day to be American.  If you know anyone from France, go ahead and punch them in the balls and start a "U-S-A!" chant.  They'll understand.

UPDATE — Video works now.

Olympics — Michael Phelps kept his hopes for eight gold medals alive, as the underdog Americans scored a seemingly impossible come-from-behind win in the 4×100 free relay.  Frenchman Alain Bernard (more like "Elaine"!  Am I right?) had promised to "smash" the Americans, and the world record-holder in the 100 looked to be in position to do that as he anchored the French team with a commanding lead in the final lap.  But Jason Lezak somehow found a superhuman gear to overtake the fastest swimmer in the world, out-touching Bernard at the final instant to win gold for USA, .08 of a second ahead of the French.  The winning time broke the world record by nearly four seconds.  Yeah, suck it France!  And California wines are a better value, too!

MLB — Rays won their team record 71st game by beating the Mariners 11-3.  What an amazing accomplishment.  Next stop: .500! … Gabe Kapler's home run in the 13th inning gave the Brewers a dramatic win over the Nationals.  That's five in a row for the Brew Crew, who were left for dead a week ago in the wake of Prince Fielder's Shovegate… Two of the most beautiful things in all of baseball happened in the same instant last night: Mariano Rivera gave up the winning run, and the Yankees got swept.

Boring shit — Padraig Harrington won the PGA Championship to take the second straight major in the absence of Tiger Woods.  He will now be remembered as the Houston Rockets of golf… Kyle Busch won his eight race of the NASCAR season (and became the first driver to win three road races) by winning the something-or-other at some place.  Eight races sounds like a lot until you figure in that there are like 650 races in a season.