Trust me, folks – I hate talking any level of politics on this here sports humor blog, but sometimes I just can’t help but slap my forehead at the time management of our great nation’s elected officials. Today’s tale of “WTF, politicians?” comes from Louisiana, where state senators have voted almost unanimously to demand that the NFL reconsider the punishments handed down to the New Orleans Saints for their role in BOUNTY GATE: THE GATE THAT INVOLVED BOUNTIES™.

Back in March, Rep. Cameron Henry, a Republican from the fine parish of Jefferson, introduced House Concurrent Resolution 50, which basically says that the NFL was wrong to fine the Saints half a million and suspend coach Sean Payton for the year. The bill passed 28-1 and now the Louisiana state legislature demands action by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, or else they will not show their tits for beads. I think that’s how this works.

“There is widespread public opinion throughout the state of Louisiana and beyond that the penalties imposed upon the Saints are too harsh and should be reconsidered,” the resolution says.

Henry’s resolution says that the suspensions “will likely have a negative economic impact across the Crescent City and the state as a whole.” (The Times-Picayune via Pro Football Talk)

Look, I may not be some fancy, big city slicker lawyer type, but I have watched a football game or two in my day, and I’ve certainly enjoyed the treasures of New Orleans on a few occasions. So if I had to make a prediction of how this bill will influence the NFL commish, I’d say: 1) It won’t; B) Nah, it won’t; and III) Seriously, it won’t. But I also don’t think it will affect people traveling to the state either, because as long as people enjoy pissing money away at Harrah’s and sucking down crawfish and beignets, the Big Easy will be fine (see you in November, Cajun Boy!). Just have a few hand grenades and heckles some tourists. This whole mess will be over soon enough.

In this post, you learn that a man in a 90s-themed plush jaguar costume wearing sunglasses and pawprint shorts is better at sports than you. Also, he’s better at golf than most golfers.

At a 2-handicap, Jaxson De Ville (who is seriously named “Jaxson De Ville”) is easily the most complexly athletic anthropomorphic and radical-to-the-max jungle cat in pro sports. As the mascot for the Jacksonville Jaguars he’s done everything from in-stadium bungee jumping to jumping a BMX bike through fireworks, so it shouldn’t be surprising to see him golfing his furry ass off during Players Championship week.

And yet …

As E. Michael Johnson noted in his Golf World Monday piece, [Curtis] Dvorak has been the Jaguars’ mascot (Jaxson De Ville) since 1996, and during Players Championship week, he had the opportunity to caddie the back nine on Wednesday for Jim Furyk.

As the group approached the 17th hole, Dvorak was challenged by Andres Romero’s caddie, Adrian Monteros, to hit the shot to hit the island green in full-on costume. Taking a little less club, Dvorak stood over the ball and laced a perfect 8-iron onto the green, drawing a cheer from the crowd. (via Devil Ball Golf)

Your move, Dinger the Dinosaur.

Whenever we cover a Taiwanese animation video at With Leather, I make a point to note that despite their absurdist imagery and general apesh*t insanity, the folks at Next Media Animation always make a good point. Whether they’re saying the Cowboys won’t win again until Jerry Jones dies or that the Saints bounty-gate scandal obscured the bigger picture, the wacky videos succeed because they’re taking the weirdest imaginable route to a logical conclusion.

That being said, the following video (informally titled “Granny Cheerleader: Hot Or Not?”) bypasses almost completely the story of 55-year-old Sharon Simmons’ quest to join the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad in favor of a soul-sucking theory, a Simon Cowell cameo and a baby exploding out of a womb like Chow Yun Fat and literally killing its mother’s dreams with a handgun. The larger point here is, “we are now all on drugs”.

Check out the full video after the jump.

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The following video carries a loose “viewer discretion advised” tag because I’m not sure where to draw the line, and there is a pretty flagrant use of the f-word and at least 20 confused women standing around in their underwear. At the same time, I’m pretty sure those are the only two things that happen during a Lingerie Football Game.

Anyway, during the Lingerie Football All-Star Game in Mexico City, Western Conference coach Tony Nguyen got into it with Eastern Conference coach Chandler Brown for something that happened on the field before a kick went out of bounds. They squared off mid-field, and here we are, watching two grown men come to blows over what happened in Mexico when one group of underwear ladies did something uncool to the other.

Video is below.

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New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow hadn’t been in the news for three whole days, so he decided to announce that he was changing his dog’s name, as that is apparently something that people do. Because he planned to play in Denver for the next 10-15 years of his career, Tebow originally named his dog Bronco, but since he was traded to the New York Jets, he wanted to honor the city that he doesn’t live or play in by re-naming his dog Bronx.

And while we could argue the rights or wrongs of changing a dog’s name – it’s wrong, by the way – all day, maybe we should just wait and see if Tebow explains this decision and many others in his very own upcoming E! 30-minute special.

“Tebow is a pop culture phenomenon and the interest in his life expands beyond the world of sports. He’s a compelling personality and has a fascinating story,” a network spokesperson said. (Via NFL.com)

The E! Network, which has also aired specials on Casey Anthony, Lorena Bobbit and Tonya Harding, is no stranger to sports. The network has previously aired specials including, “Which Athlete Should Kim Nail This Week?”, “Mark Sanchez: Teenagers Are The New Lombardi Trophy” and “The 50 Greatest Moments In Locker Room Dick Shots History”.

Tebow also gave the world a glimpse of what his special will really be about – faith, family and hopefully frittatas – when he appeared on Good Morning America yesterday to tell the world how much he loves his mom. Then he changed her name.

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Carolina Panthers backup quarterback Jimmy Clausen is no stranger to controversy, as he had a couple run-ins with the law during his days at Notre Dame. But now, like any good bordering-on-obsolete athlete, he’s using Twitter to fight his biggest battles. This week, Clausen’s main event match is against none other than Supercuts, the place where impatient moms take their kids to look acceptable for yearbook photos. *points to self*

Clausen apparently popped into his local Supercuts yesterday to look sharp for his team photo, which is being taken today, and he was none too pleased with the result. He was angry enough that he vented on Twitter. Sadly, no photo was attached.

Of course, it didn’t take long for someone to point out the obvious.

But shortly after, Supercuts came calling with a formal apology.

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