Last Friday night, 9-0 Placer high school of Auburn, California defeated 4-5 Colfax 24-7 in a much-hyped revenge game, and that’s fun because, Yay sports! But the real entertainment was actually provided by a random shirtless bro who stumbled onto to the high school football field at some point, because he had a bottle of water and wanted to make sure everybody saw how well he could pour it all out. Either that, or he’s a viral fashion marketer and he wanted everyone to see his hot, new style – belt-off low-rise jeans. Those are the only possible reasons I can think of as to why this bro would walk on to a football field during a game.

Well, I guess maybe he could just be an a-hole. Either way, he’s an a-hole in a lot of pain, because as you’ll see in the video after the jump, there’s pretty much only one response you should expect if people think you’re threatening them at a high school.

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By now you’re probably familiar with the story of Paisley Dickey, the diminutive diva who has become a “Toddlers & Tiaras” anti-sensation in the wake of her mother dressing her as a prostitute on a recent episode of the show from hell. To be specific, Paisley was dressed as Julia Roberts’ hooker character from Pretty Woman, so at least she has a heart of gold.

So why, Burnsy, is this being discussed on this esteemed fart joke machine sports blog? Because Paisley’s mother, Wendy, has invoked my unholiest wrath with the laziest argument in the world.

‘I take my kid to church every week… at least I’m not forcing them into sports and getting my child injured like some parents.

‘People need to look at their own family and what they’re doing. I don’t know why people are focusing so much on pageant moms when there’s much more harmful things people are letting their children do!’

(Via The Daily Mail)

Yeah, like play sports and learn the importance of teamwork, leadership, discipline, and Big League Chew as a stepping stone to Red Man. OK, maybe not that last part, but you get my point.

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