Believe it or not, some football stars are using their NFL Lockout prep-time constructively instead of trolling people on Twitter or boxing Kimbo Slice. The above video is a local news report about Washington Redskins linebacker Lorenzo Alexander learning what it’s like to be a firefighter. Sports blogs are usually just esoteric nonsense, so take a minute out of your day to watch a pleasant clip that would’ve gotten me all inspired and misty-eyed about heroes when I was five. This would’ve been the coolest field trip ever. They get to spray the hose!

I would give up the life of a blogger and do something noble like fighting fires if I had the dexterity and good luck to get through making lunch without burning myself.

[via MyFoxDC]

Okay so he didn’t save a bunch of crying babies or priceless antique China or anything, but since his body’s worth millions of dollars shouldn’t saving himself from a fiery death be some sort of accomplishment? Charles Woodson was partying with 17 other people to celebrate the fact that Ted and Jane Von Voigtlander (will you guys adopt me please?) donated $15 million to a women’s hospital when the freakin’ place burned to the ground. Nobody was hurt, including that burning flying cat I put in the picture. If you were wondering, that’s all imaginary. I am pretty sure Charles Woodson does not walk around in his full Packers garb in day-to-day life.

Of course, the women’s hospital donation brings up an interesting question: if a dying man crawls breathless to the entrance of it will he get turned away? My guess is probably, because that’s how feminism works.

According to the director of the Petoskey Department of Public Safety, the fire department received a call around 4:43 a.m. Friday morning to check on a fire alarm that was going off in the home, located at 6774 N. Preserve Drive, which is at the western end of the luxury resort community.

Acoording to sources, Charles Woodson and his business partner, Rick Ruiz, were in the home and reportedly smelled smoke around 4 a.m., but couldn’t find the source.

11 people were reportedly staying at the residence at the time the fire broke out, however, the night before, the owners had been entertaining nearly 150 people. -WTMJ Read the rest of this entry »