There isn’t much to do when you’re the creative director of a Madden game (“okay, this year I think we’re gonna make it look like football”), so EA Sports’ Mike Young has spent the last few weeks tweeting about the amazing new features set to debut in Madden NFL 13, such as Tim Tebow being able to Tebow.

Still no word on whether or not planking and Batmanning will make the cut, but earlier today @EAMaddenNFL dropped the first official image of Tim Tebow Tebowing in a New York Jets uniform in the end zone at MetLife. If you were gonna get excited about this at some point, now’s your chance.

As Weed over at Sportress notes, being able to Tebow won’t matter if you can’t assign the pose to whichever linebacker murders him. Or the ability to Tebow via Kinect. Maybe the Wii version will have a mini-game where you run to the 50 yard line and do it, who knows.

By the end of this video, you will be well aware of with whom jiggy has been gotten — in the spirit of Top 21 Frisbee Trick Shots and Johnny Mac Trick Shot Quarterback comes Nick DiChiara Long Snap Trick Shot Video, wherein the Nick DiChiara of the BB&N High School Class of 2012 long-snaps a football to close lockers, block lay-ups and throw out a guy stealing third.

The full court shot (pictured above) is especially impressive. The full video, courtesy of DiChiara himself, is after the jump.

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Thanks to an endorsement from Justin Bieber and a catchy hook straight out of Disney Channel primetime, ‘Canadian Idol’ third place finalist Carly Rae Jepsen has the “song of the summer” with Call Me Maybe. At the time of this posting, the video (featuring Carly being in love with her emo fitness model neighbor until he stops doing chores and tries to surprise buttsex a guy in her band) has almost 64 million views. And because in 2012 “you being famous” means “everyone who likes you also has to be famous”, YouTube has gotten clogged with at least 128 million Call Me Maybe covers and parodies.

This one comes to us from Zack Murray of North Andover, Massachusetts, a well-meaning kid with rosy cheeks and New England Patriots curtains. His version — “Call Me Brady”, about Pats QB Tom Brady and sadly neither Greg or Peter — is full of number identification and concerned eyebrows, but it’s just earnest (and thorough) enough to work. It’s one of those things you find that’s bound to go viral. And hey, bad signing or not it sounds like Steve f**king Wonder compared to the Texas Rangers Train people.

Maybe Bieber will give him a record contract, put him in videos with racially-indeterminate teen girls and market him to those 12-to-38-year-olds who can’t get enough of Ron Weasley.

[via Beantown Banter]

Or, “AAAAH PAT KELLY”.

What you’re looking at is New York Jets center Nick Mangold appearing on a special celebrity edition of ‘Wax On, Wax Off’, wherein he lets persons from ‘Late Night with Jimmy Fallon’ rip the hair from his enormous baby-body as punishment for someone else’s incorrect trivia answers. Unfortunately for Nick, he’s got one of the guys from Coheed and Cambria (not really) answering questions about Lithuanian Prime Ministers so his poor chest ends up looking like a Man-o-Lantern.

Video is below, but it may not be suitable for the faint of heart or fuzzy of boob.

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The people behind the website CharityBuzz operate under the philosophy “Do Good, Live Well” and with that one belief, they have helped raise more than $60 million by auctioning off special event packages that involve some of the biggest names in entertainment and sports. In fact, here are a few of my favorite auctions that I found after checking out the site:

• Meet Michael Douglas and Morgan Freeman and compete in Michael Douglas Celebrity Golf Tournament in Atlantis (and then marry a girl 30 years younger than you)
• Receive golf lessons from Butch Harmon (leave me alone, I love golf)
• Visit the Fox NFL set and meet the crew (how about I pay to not do that?)
• Spend 5 nights in a luxury hotel before attending the 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and have lunch with an Angel (!!!!!!!!)
• Spend a day in Los Angeles with Tesla founder Elon Musk (at first I thought that was the band Tesla and I was ready to take out a loan)

And perhaps the most intriguing CharityBuzz sports auction currently under way involves bidding on the opportunity for your kid to play catch with Brett Favre. Currently at $4,250, this package – pun really f*cking intended – is valued at $10,000. For your dollar, Favre will come to your kid’s school or practice field and teach him (or her, liberals) how to pass for 70,000 yards, 500 touchdowns and 8 billion interceptions, as long as you live in or near Sumrall, Mississippi.

It sucks that you either have to live in or be willing to travel to Sumrall, because I’d be interested in winning this auction just to pay a line of local kids to drill Favre in the nuts with footballs.

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What, this isn't good enough?

Aw crap, more state politics. This time we’re talking new stadium agreements, and the fun begins in Minnesota, where the Vikings have agreed to terms on a partnership with the taxpayers for the creation of a $975 million stadium. The team will pay $477 million toward the new facility, while the state and Minneapolis will pay the other $498 million. This is truly a remarkable day for unions between the people and the billionaires who take all of their money.

But before you go shopping for new tailgate gear, Vikings fans, you should probably know that you will never ever be able to see just how that taxpayer money is being spent, because the state gave the Vikings a “blanket protection” that allows Zygi Wilf and Co. to be super secretive about everything they do. Hooray, democracy!

One provision would shield “any financial information” from the team from public eyes. Critics say the blanket protection goes beyond state law, leaving taxpayers in the dark.

“We now have the largest public commitment in the state’s history in an agreement with the Vikings, and we have an unprecedented lack of disclosure,” said Rep. Mary Liz Holberg, R-Lakeville, who voted against the stadium bill. (Via the Seattle Times)

Basically, Governor Mark Dayton and a team of people that he will choose will be able to check in on the finances of the Vikings and their new stadium whenever they want. And if they see something they don’t like, they can handle it internally. But even if it’s something totally f*cked up, the public still can’t see it. Dayton might as well cut the stadium’s ribbon, scream, “HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!” and light a pile of money on fire.

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