At least he’s not doing Fudgie the Whale. Eesh.

Burnsy has spent a lot of time writing about the hows, whens and whys of Dwight Howard eventual/suddenly leaving the Orlando Magic, so much so that his photoshop of Howard Superman-dunking with a suitcase is nearly as old as my editorship. So it’s somewhat fitting to know that while the good people of Orlando are busy writing and performing desperate anthems to keep Howard in town, Dwight is using his remaining time with the Magic to the fullest, i.e. trying to eat a cookie off of his face without using his hands. This is some serious “why is Obama filling out an NCAA tournament bracket” type sh*t.

The best part of the video is either how its inanity and pointlessness is immediately followed with an artsy, wistful retrospective on Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 point game, or imagining that the cookie on Dwight’s forehead is one of those huge ones from the mall and his dome is just that big. Next, they should challenge him to eat a large pizza like that.

[h/t to Buzzfeed]

NASCAR drivers are all about proving their physical worth; Carl Edwards proved it by kicking a field goal at Sun Life Stadium, and now Joey Logano has added athletic value to his life by visiting Sticky Lips barbecue in Rochester, New York, for an episode of ‘Man Vs. Food’.

If you’ve never seen the show, Adam Richman (an actor with a lifespan of 38) travels the country to find out which local restauranteurs are willing to waste the most food by, say, making him 40-foot banana split and challenging him to eat it. In this episode, special guest star Logano was given thirty minutes to eat a three-pound bacon double cheeseburger covered with pulled pork and hot sauce on a one-pound bed of french fries. They never show it on television, but if your rectal cavity explodes, you’re disqualified.

Logano made sure to live tweet the episode with commentary like, “i was looking for a dog under the table to help me eat it haha” and “did you guys really think i could finish that thing?? i mean come on”. Nobody asked him if we’re supposed to believe those people in the background seriously stood in place and watched him eat and clapped for thirty minutes, or if this show is a work, like ‘House Hunters’.

Regardless, this episode ended a lot better than his appearance on ‘Man Vs. Physics’.

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As if newfound chosen son Amar’e Stoudemire didn’t already have enough on his plate, what with his decision to lead New York Knicks fans through the desert for at least the next five years, the star forward has been issued a challenge. Marc Gold wants to know just how Jewish Stoudemire really is. Having recently spent time in Israel tracing his Hebrew roots, Stoudemire has embraced his c’heritage and Gold – owner of Gold Food Products – wants to test his faith with a schtickle of kosher horseradish.

Gold’s challenge, should Stoudemire choose to accept it, is for the new Knick to take a tour of the Gold factory, where the horseradish is made, and to survive not only the production of the fakakta condiment, but also to devour a heaping serving on a nice chunk of matzoh. All without crying, vomiting or complaining, of course. But in fairness, he wouldn’t even be there if he wasn’t expected to complain about something. Probably the humidity, oy gevalt!

Let’s have a party and all dance the Hora, CNBC:

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