The last time country music star John Anderson walked in the swamp, he sat upon a Cypress stump. He listened close and he heard the ghost of Osceola cry. Why was Osceola crying? Because Florida State University had just deemed him inappropriate for “certain opportunities” and replaced him with Rarity from the f**king ‘My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic’ cartoon.

You’d think they would’ve at least gone with Chief Thunderhooves.

“Osceola and Renegade are revered and honored symbols of Florida State athletics, as has been recognized by their recent selection as the best tradition in all of college football,” said FSU Assistant Athletic Director of Marketing and Promotions Jason Dennard. “We treat our symbol with great honor and respect, and they appear only at football games, Homecoming and Fan Day. Cimarron has been revived to give a promotional presence at other designated events. It also allows us to participate in some opportunities that were not appropriate for the distinguished symbol of Osceola and Renegade.”

Florida State commissioned the design and fabrication of Cimarron by Scollon Productions Inc. in the fall of 2011. Scollon has been the costume character designer and manufacturer of choice for many corporations worldwide, including Warner Brothers, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and more than 100 sports teams. (via CFB Section)

CFB Section’s report suggests the switch to Cimarron means FSU is “obviously looking to do away with” Chief Osceola, but that’s not the impression I got. What I gathered from the statement is that sometimes you want to send your mascot to the local elementary schools, and a dude wearing warpaint and pointing a spear at kids from atop a charging horse might not be the way to go.

But hey, if you’re the type who gets bent out of shape about “politically correct” types thinking you shouldn’t have a denomination of people as your team mascot (and as a fan of the Cleveland Indians I understand this fully), just point out that Cimarron means “runaway slave” in Spanish. Eventually FSU’s mascot is just going to be a grey rectangle with the word “SCHOOL” written across it.

With Brandon out gallivanting around Austin for SXSW, living the rock star life, and me back here at home watching the baby, I realized that I forgot to do a ROFLMNBAO post last week, and for that I can’t apologize enough. But I also figured that we could take a breather from Dwight Howard’s flip-flopping, Chris Bosh’s squawking, Blake Griffin’s air balling and Derrick Rose’s back injuring and celebrate some of the stars of the weekend’s NCAA Tournament action for this week’s edition.

After all, there were some great games that none of us expected as the Sweet 16 field presented itself. And to tie the NBA and NCAA ends together, I got to wondering what would have happened if Florida Gators coach Billy Donovan would have taken the Orlando Magic head coach position a few years ago, instead of backing out and returning to UF. And I don’t imaging it would be much different, as Otis Smith would have still traded for the worst contract in basketball and I’d still have the liver of a 63-year old.

On with the celebration and mockery of America’s student-athletes!

Read the rest of this entry »

North Carolina State men’s basketball coach Mark Gottfried created/contributed to some rumblings on the old Twitters last night, saying that he has heard that Texas A&M and Florida State may join the SEC. Texas Governor Rick Perry has been praying daily for the SEC to call on A&M, and that shouldn’t surprise anyone because he’s an Aggie alum. But the news about FSU is a bit of a surprise, since the ‘Noles have been ACC mainstays for 20 years. Either way, the Internet is awake so the spin machines are working.

From the Orlando Sentinel:

If the rumors about Texas A&M do pan out, though, it would send the SEC to 13 teams and a potentially swollen SEC West division. That probably would send the conference looking for a suitable SEC East counterpart to balance the sides. For that reason, most believe Florida State, a team already located in the heart of Dixie, and with a big SEC-style following, would be that 14th team.

Sucks for you, University of West Florida. But won’t somebody crap on that rumor?

Read the rest of this entry »

The unranked Florida State seminoles defeated the top ranked Duke Blue Devils in Tallahassee last night, which is great, because I love it when bad things happen to teams that receive special treatment. And before you even start complaining about me jealous, I want you to look at the above screen shot from last night’s game. Chris Singleton, one of the Seminoles’ key players, picked up his fourth foul on a horrendous offensive foul call, for which Kyle Singler deserves an Oscar. Singler flails around, falling four yards back to somehow get the call, probably because Coach K works officiating crews like Charlie Sheen works booths at the AVN awards.

What’s more infuriating is how the media treats the Blue Devils. It’s no secret how much Dickie V loves Duke, but it’d be nice if Dick didn’t let his man crush on Coach K prevent him from being a competent announcer. In his words, Dickie V was Awful with a capital ‘A’, baby!

Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Former Florida State football player Kamari Charlton overstayed his visa during a trip to Singapore, and now faces punishment from that country. Authorities there say that he was apprehended for criminal complaints, and as a result, he might get caned.

Caning is widely used as punishment in Singapore, but Charlton’s case is unique, his defense team argues. His wife was in the country on a six-month medical visa, while he was on a three-month tourist visa.

Unlike most offenders who overstay, Maaran said, Charlton was not in Singapore to take advantage of its strong economy by working illegally. He overstayed by 169 days, according to court documents.
The former Florida State University college football player now successfully runs a construction company, his legal team says.

The case is reminiscent of the 1994 case of American teenager Michael Faye, who was sentenced to caning for vandalism in Singapore. After U.S. officials requested leniency, the Singapore government reduced the number of lashes he was given. –via CNN.

That’s just Singapore Being Singapore. Just so we’re all on the same page: caning really sucks. If you really want to see it, here’s a link that I’m calling Not Safe For Work. I’d say Remind me to never visit Singapore, but I don’t think you’ll have to.

How well-coached were Bobby Bowden’s teams? Look no further for that answer than Florida State offensive tackle Zerbie Sanders. Apparently the center forgot the snap count, which left everyone on the Seminole offense scrambling for his life. Well, everyone except Zerbie. Good job, son. See you at the Tampax Bowl against the Crimson…eh, maybe I shouldn’t go there. –Last Angry Fan.