Major League Baseball in Florida has turned into my family. Its young people are out of control and don’t care about anything, and the only people with any hope of paying attention to them or teaching them anything are 80 years old and from a repressive old school and are about to die. Enter: 80-year old “Trader” Jack McKeon, the second oldest manager in the history of baseball behind Connie Mack. He’s turning the Marlins around with his unique brand of smoking and “not liking the way they run”.

Of course, “being old” is the second easiest way to be the topic of a Dugout. The first is to beat up your girlfriend or wife! Today’s Dugout follows.

Read the rest of this entry »

As if the Los Angeles Dodgers didn’t have enough problems, what with the $400 million debt, terrible owners, dangerous Mexican gang member fans, and that whole being a half game out of last place, now people have to worry about being killed in blazing infernos at Dodger Stadium. During the fifth inning of Saturday night’s game against the Florida Marlins, a section of the stadium was evacuated when a horrific blaze erupted in a food vendor warehouse. Hmmm, I smell insurance fraud.

Fans were ordered out of the section above first base and down the right-field line as smoke wafted over the playing field. Meanwhile, the game continued with the Marlins leading, 3-1.

After the top of the sixth inning, a public-address announcement informed fans of the fire, calling it “small” in a “contained area” and “under control” by the Los Angeles Fire Department, assuring fans there was no need for further evacuations. (Via MLB.com)

Geez, ruin the fun, why don’t you? OK, so the fire wasn’t life-threatening, but I don’t really care about the human fans who may have been in harm’s way. I only care about their dogs, because the fire happened during the Dodgers’ “Bark in the Park” promotion, which allowed fans to bring their favorite canine companions to the park. Thanks to the Los Angeles Times, we can put fuzzy little faces to this careless behavior and hazardous half-assed operation. It also helps if you view this while listening to Sarah McLachlan.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s been almost six months in Internet time since Buster Posey went down to a debilitating “entire body” injury, and Giants fans want answers. Posey’s agent wants Major League Baseball to enact “Buster’s Rule,” a rule wherein players would no longer be allowed to crash into catchers in exciting home plate collisions. Of course, this rule change would instantly heal Posey’s leg, and he’d be able to get back into the starting lineup within days. Hopefully, this will happen.

Arguments and visual aids have been presented across the blogosphere, and now the only respected voice in sports, The Dugout, must make its statement. What follows is the actual transcript between commissioner Bud Selig and Jeff Berry, Posey’s agent and a man who is lucky I haven’t introduced the Quisenberry Challenge to With Leather yet. If you know a baseball fan and they have an opinion, show them this transcript and set them straight. Today’s Dugout follows.

Read the rest of this entry »

Adorable San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey was absolutely ENDED by Scott Cousins during a play at the plate last night, and the news keeps getting worse. Posey has a broken leg and torn ligaments, and it looks like his season is over. Hopefully that’s all that he’ll miss, because hits like this are usually followed by Faces of Death transitional graphics.

If you watch the video it was a clean play at the plate, Posey just got hit so hard he nearly traveled back in time. He missed the ball and turned into it face first. Posey’s agent is using the 13-year old star’s injury as a call to arms against Major League Baseball.

“You leave players way too vulnerable,” Berry said. “I can tell you Major League Baseball is less than it was before [Posey's injury]. It’s stupid. I don’t know if this ends up leading to a rule change, but it should. The guy [at the plate] is too exposed.

“If you go helmet to helmet in the NFL, it’s a $100,000 fine, but in baseball, you have a situation in which runners are [slamming into] fielders. It’s brutal. It’s borderline shocking. It just stinks for baseball. I’m going to call Major League Baseball and put this on the radar. Because it’s just wrong.”

Maybe next year catchers will sit in a dunk tank at home plate, and runners will only be safe if they can slide directly into the target. I know I run the risk of sounding like a “traditionalist” (whatever that is), but I think nonstop rule changes aren’t the problem with baseball. I think “put Buster Posey in a suit of armor, sue everybody, change everything” is a pretty misguided attempt at baseball justice, and that “holy sh** Buster Posey got wrecked, let’s make sure he’s okay again at some point during the rest of his life” is the more constructive approach.

[video @ MLB.com]

From the illegal aliens working in the kitchens of baseball’s biggest stars comes “Diamond Dishes,” a cookbook written by the wife of the monstrous, colored-lenses troll who owns the Florida Marlins. It is also the worst David Bowie album ever. Of course, “writing a cookbook” is like producing a movie, or inking a comic book. You’re just taking a hi res picture of yourself smiling while putting a fork in your mouth and pasting it to the back of a bunch of recipes. I’ve seen the Screech’s Secret Sauce episode of Saved by the Bell, I know how this works.

And man, is there anything worse in the world than when baseball players try to be “human?” Like when they record albums? I know you don’t walk around your house wearing a gigantic plain pastel blue sweater, Travis Hafner, you wear Affliction shirts and Under Armour and this picture of you holding a pie isn’t going to convince me differently.

Today’s Dugout is about cookbooks, and why they are so awesome.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hanley Ramirez thought he needed a change of mirror scenery. He not only got that but a newfound ability to scare the bejesus out of little children as well, as his attempts at changing his locks into platinum failed miserably, morphing him into somebody Ronald McDonald might call a friend.

Hanley Ramirez should keep his day job as Marlins shortstop. He tried dying his hair blond this morning at the team hotel, but it came out… how shall we say… red? Rust? Brown? Hanley’s new look comes with a new spot in the batting order — third, which isn’t actually a new spot. He hit there last year and most of this year before being moved to the lead-off spot.

“That was the turning point — I saw his hair color and it looked like a three hitter,” manager Edwin Rodriguez joked. -Palm Beach Post

Though his new hairdo makes it look like he’s an escapee from a psychiatric ward who thinks he’s found the perfect disguise, he should maybe keep it as his first game with follicles that belong on a safety cone brought him a day of 4/5 hitting. Alas, it has most probably wreaked havoc on the chances of him winning any potential games of hide-and-seek he was planning on playing this weekend.

VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP
Read the rest of this entry »