The St. Louis Rams came out firing in the 1st quarter of last night’s Monday Night Football matchup with the New York Giants, and everything looked promising for the young Rams playing without their running back Steven Jackson and receiver Danny Amendola. What looked like a certain touchdown, as the Rams marched into the red zone with their no huddle offense, soon became a terrible display of amateur hour by Giants defenders Jacquian Williams and Deon Grant, who both flopped and faked injuries to stop the clock.

To be fair, Williams and Grant fell to the ground at the same time, and Williams immediately jumped back up once he realized that Grant had sold his ailment with Oscar-winning precision. Then the Giants held the Rams to just a field goal and a strange tempo was set for the rest of the game. Who says that life is fair?

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Bryan Carrasco plays for the Chilean under-20 national soccer team and today he is well on his way to becoming a global Internet superstar. During a 1-0 loss to Ecuador in the South American Under-20 World Cup qualifier, Carrasco took flopping to a whole new level by grabbing Edson Montano’s hand and slapping himself in the face. The act drew a free kick for Carrasco, but now that the video has made the web rounds, he has brought shame to his nation. Just kidding, nobody cares about soccer.

Except for The Daily Mail, of course, which gave that wanker bloody ‘ell:

It was certainly a slap in the face for football as well as Carrasco and to compound his felony, the whole thing was picked up on TV and played again and again by disbelieving pundits.

It all proved in vain for our Chilean cheat though, who at 5ft 6in is in danger of being accused of Little Man Syndrome. His side lost 1-0 to exit the tournament before it even began.

Hmmm, 5-foot-6, chip on his shoulder and willing to do anything to win? Carrasco will be in a New England Patriots jersey by June.

Video after the jump…

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This has been around for a couple days, but it still qualifies for the Floptastic files. Here’s Brazilian soccer player Sergio Escudero faking a foul, trying to draw a penalty, I guess. One problem: the guy that allegedly hit him in the face was a linesman, and as far as I know, linesmen can hit Brazilians in the face all they want. You know, if the guy actually hit him. So who wants to go to Brazil and be a linesman? Okay, now who wants to be a fire engine?

|Champions365|

Portland’s Rudy Fernandez was carried off the floor in the third quarter of Portland’s win against the Lakers last night after taking an interesting foul from Trevor Ariza. After catching an elbow from behind, the Spaniard flailed and crashed to the floor. Fernandez’s salesmanship started a tussle between both teams, and Ariza was teed up and ejected. And just to ensure his cooter didn’t catch any more sand in it, Fernandez was hauled off on a stretcher wearing a neck brace. Wait, I thought the World Cup was next year.

Fernandez was conscious and alert when he left the court, and he had full movement of his extremities, the team said. But he was experiencing chest pain and was taken to a hospital overnight. X-rays were negative.

Trevor Ariza, who fouled Fernandez, said he hoped the rookie from Spain wasn’t seriously hurt.

“It wasn’t anything I was trying to do,” Ariza said. “I wasn’t trying to hurt him. I was just trying to make a play on the ball.” [Y! Deportes]

It was a tough foul, but hardly a neck-brace-worthy foul. Sparty and Friends dug up some video; Ariza makes contact with the head and possibly grabs the left arm on the way down. See for yourself after the jump. After the game, Fernandez underwent a CT scan, and the verdict was a soft-tissue injury to the upper chest and side. That differs slightly from Dr. Punte’s diagnosis: acute blubbering vaginosis. Sissy. Read the rest of this entry »