‘Bill Dance Outdoors’ brings together some of my favorite things: fishing bloopers, guys using almost-curse words and dogs magically appearing from off-screen like rocket ships. Bill Dance bloopers are the greatest. Fishing should be this easy for everybody.

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"Hey girl, you should probably clean and skin that fish soon, otherwise you're going to attract birds."

While Spring Break may be over, the core values of America’s greatest month-long holiday still exist in YouTube video form. Now, I’m not sure if this is a Spring Break video, per se, since one half of the equation involves my dad’s old flea market buddies, but for the sake of themes and consistency, let’s just assume that it is, since I don’t actually know anything about this video.

Brothers Clete and Roscoe Taterbeans were out huntin’ “Florida Salmon”, AKA fresh river catfish, the other day when they happened upon some college boy city slickers who done lost they way with a broken boat engine. “Y’all stuck?” Clete asked as Roscoe bit the head off his latest catch. Trevor and Carter were nervous about their new acquaintances, but they were also stuck in the middle of a 40-foot deep river, so they didn’t have much of a choice. Plus, as the co-social chairs of Beta Theta Pi, haha, they’ve handled their fair share of strange characters.

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And now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together (and sometimes watch them play softball). It’s Sports On TV: the 15 greatest sports moments of Arrested Development.

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On a very special This Week In Fishing Bloopers (we’ve never done this before), a news reporter tries to hold a fish and talk about it, so nature takes its course. I dunno, the guy in the boat she landed on looked pretty happy. (via Bob’s Blitz)

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The With Leather Interview: Three-Time WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres |With Leather|

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They should play this on SportsCenter and have Michael Ian Black and Mo Rocca just say sarcastic sh*t about it the whole time. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

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If you’re one of the countless Texans who love stabbing an animal in the face with a hook, then removing the hook and harmlessly dropping it back into the water with a big hole in its mouth, make sure you tell the truth about what you’ve done. This shouldn’t come as a surprise from the state that gleefully executed retarded people, but the Texas state Senate unanimously passed a bill that would make it illegal to lie about the size, weight, or provenance of a fish. Right now this is only for fish caught during a tournament, but knowing our liberal government we won’t be able to read The Old Man and the Sea without proof of registration.

Bill sponsor Senator Glenn Hegar, as told to the New York Times:

“The harassment has been pretty deep over this one,” he says, though he fishes just recreationally. If signed by Governor Rick Perry, the bill will make misrepresentation a misdemeanor, or a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison if the prize offered is worth more than $10,000. “Everybody is just telling stories, that’s fishing,” says one fishing guide. “But to cheat, that’s another thing. That’s just not right.”

You’ve got to wonder — if you’re fishing in a tournament, shouldn’t there be some sort of organized body that fact-checks the fishing? Is that how Texas rolls? Trust? Do you just catch the fish in your spare time and mail in your results, and some fishing council ranks you later? Do you include a rounded-up guesstimate of beers drank? There’s no anti-lying legislation in Texas baseball. Could the Texas Rangers win by saying they hit a triple and seeming “awful sincere” about it?