They should play this on SportsCenter and have Michael Ian Black and Mo Rocca just say sarcastic sh*t about it the whole time. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

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If you’re one of the countless Texans who love stabbing an animal in the face with a hook, then removing the hook and harmlessly dropping it back into the water with a big hole in its mouth, make sure you tell the truth about what you’ve done. This shouldn’t come as a surprise from the state that gleefully executed retarded people, but the Texas state Senate unanimously passed a bill that would make it illegal to lie about the size, weight, or provenance of a fish. Right now this is only for fish caught during a tournament, but knowing our liberal government we won’t be able to read The Old Man and the Sea without proof of registration.

Bill sponsor Senator Glenn Hegar, as told to the New York Times:

“The harassment has been pretty deep over this one,” he says, though he fishes just recreationally. If signed by Governor Rick Perry, the bill will make misrepresentation a misdemeanor, or a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison if the prize offered is worth more than $10,000. “Everybody is just telling stories, that’s fishing,” says one fishing guide. “But to cheat, that’s another thing. That’s just not right.”

You’ve got to wonder — if you’re fishing in a tournament, shouldn’t there be some sort of organized body that fact-checks the fishing? Is that how Texas rolls? Trust? Do you just catch the fish in your spare time and mail in your results, and some fishing council ranks you later? Do you include a rounded-up guesstimate of beers drank? There’s no anti-lying legislation in Texas baseball. Could the Texas Rangers win by saying they hit a triple and seeming “awful sincere” about it?

Ollie Irish has written about “sport” for a bunch of people, including Goaly Moly, The Guardian and The Observer. He is the former editor of Stuff magazine and deputy editor of Observer Sport Monthly. Today, he provides syndicated soccer content for With Leather, and we’re damn glad to have him.

Words fail me. ‘Genius’ will have to do.

The skinny: This happened in Iceland at the weekend, during a match between Stjarnan and Fylkir – the former were responsible for the celebration, after Johann Laxdal scored.

I seriously think you should get bonus points in football for capers like this. Much as I always wanted Alan Shearer to break his leg when he ran around with one arm up in the air after scoring yet another penalty.

So, in summing up: yes, this is the greatest goal celebration in the history of football. The big-catch ‘photo’ at the end seals the deal. Read the rest of this entry »

This has made a couple laps around the eBays, but we don’t do many fishing posts, so here you go. I don’t really get fishing, but it’s probably because my dad beat me as a child. The idea of going out into the sea and asserting dominance over animals that don’t even have lungs just seems a bit silly to me. You want to impress me? Get in the water with a knife and give that fish a fair fight. At least you don’t have to wear camo.

Anyway, these guys caught a baby shark, which is like a real shark, only it monopolizes all its mother’s time and makes Father Shark all grumpy and bitter because that’s time that he can’t beat her around. Dude is trying to pull the hook out of the shark’s mouth, and since we’re posting this, obviously something magical happens. And I don’t get the catch and release thing, either. Is our ecosystem gonna run out of sharks?

The fun starts after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

NFL prospect and Filipino foreskin connoisseur Tim Tebow has been invited to the NFL Draft, but the college quarterback is struggling with his decision to attend. It’s only a question of how long he wants a camera in his face while sitting around like a jackass. And don’t forget that the first round of the draft is on Thursday night, so that wait could stretch into days…

“I’ve got to figure out what will be more fun for me and best for my family. But I have to say I liked what [Cleveland tackle] Joe Thomas did on the day of the draft a couple of years ago — he went fishing with his dad.” –SI.com, via USA Today

You know what’s weird? “Philippines” is spelled with one L and two Ps, but “Filipino,” a name denoting citizenship of the Philippines, has one L and one P. Plus, it’s spelled with an F. What the foo? Oh, you thought I was going to bring all the attention that’s being heaped upon a guy that seems like a sure-fire bust in the NFL. Yeah, I guess that’s a bit odd, too.

I don’t care who you are or how much you hate cruelty to other people or how many trees you hugged last week. If a fat guy takes a running start of the end of a dock, YOU ARE WATCHING. And this fellow, with whom I’m unfamiliar, decides to indulge his friends and, thanks to the power of technology: the world. But did we mention that this is in the dead of winter and that the lake might be…frozen?

Oh. They mentioned the frozen part in the headline. Thanks for nothing, College Humor.