Believe it or not, some football stars are using their NFL Lockout prep-time constructively instead of trolling people on Twitter or boxing Kimbo Slice. The above video is a local news report about Washington Redskins linebacker Lorenzo Alexander learning what it’s like to be a firefighter. Sports blogs are usually just esoteric nonsense, so take a minute out of your day to watch a pleasant clip that would’ve gotten me all inspired and misty-eyed about heroes when I was five. This would’ve been the coolest field trip ever. They get to spray the hose!

I would give up the life of a blogger and do something noble like fighting fires if I had the dexterity and good luck to get through making lunch without burning myself.

[via MyFoxDC]

Picture lazily related.

*This isn’t really about the Olympics.

I don’t know what’s being pumped into the water in France lately, but those baguette-eating wine-sniffers are really earning some street cred. First, they didn’t bother waiting to take the first shot at Libya, and now their firefighters are telling the rest of the world to embrasser mon derriere. While this is apparently news from February, our reporters in With Leather’s French bureau have been drunk since 2008 so we’re just now discovering the awesomeness of the “Jeux Olympiques des Pompiers”, or the Olympic Games of the Firefighters.

In the video below you can witness the awesomeness of the French firefighter competition, as they run around with ladders and hoses while jumping walls like jungle cats. But in the end, these Olympics aren’t about who wins, mainly because they all surrender when the German firefighters show up.

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Back in October, the American Mustache Institute announced its list of the 19 finalists for the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year, and now you can breathe again because a winner has been chosen. The world of sports was represented by Major League pitcher Carl Pavano, Sacramento mayor and former Phoenix Suns guard Kevin Johnson, Chicago Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville, Major League Baseball umpire Jim Joyce, and the UTEP Miners mascot, Paydirt Pete. So which one of these spectacular sports figures won the glorious honor? None of them. Bunch of worthless jerks.

Instead, the 2010 Goulet Award was presented to firefighter Brian Sheets at a ceremony in St. Louis, Missouri, where the local women undoubtedly had to shave their mustaches to not one-up the winner. Sheets is from the beautiful and heavenly utopia of Orlando, FL, where he’s a firefighter, EMT and fire academy instructor. He received 22% of the 500,000 votes to earn the honor, while Pavano finished in third with 15%. Suck it, Pavano.

Twirl your Rollie Fingers, Asylum and tell us how the big winner feels…

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