In a pro football world where wearing high-top cleats to honor the passing of Johnny Unitas can earn you a $25,000 fine, it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that players hoping to wear red, white and blue gear on the 10th anniversary of 9/11 is a punishable offense. Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs tweeted about his new patriotic Reebok gear and how he expects to be fined for wearing it. So did Kansas City Chiefs running back Jamaal Charles. So did Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley and Tennssee Titans quarterback Matt Hasselbeck and most of the San Diego Chargers. So whether or not the league approves, they can’t fine everybody for supporting their country … can they?

Briggs:

Reebok great job on these gloves and shoes..looks like I’m getting fined this week. Lol! By far the best fine I will ever have to pay. Thanks…Fines for gloves could be as much as 5k..the shoes 8-10k I think. not 100% on the shoe fine.

Is wearing 9/11 commemorative gear “showboating”? Is it being done to draw attention to the players who choose to break the rules? To give them more media coverage? I’m blogging about them. I think it’s a valid consideration, but when your talking point is “do I or do I not want to show respect and reverence to my country’s worst tragedy in my lifetime” I’d hope the simple gesture of fellowship and patriotism would not go hand-in-hand with the Lambeau Leap. At the same time, what are Never Forget gloves accomplishing, and isn’t there probably a better way for rich people to show their support to the victims of the attacks?

Regardless, don’t assume the league is totally heartless: the NFL and NFLPA will donate $1 million to related charities and memorials. Of course, the average NFL team is worth about $1.04 billion and ESPN just completed an eight-year extension worth as much as $1.9 billion annually with the NFL for the rights to Monday Night Football, so the issues of “how much can we give” and “how much can we take away from you” sort of go hand in hand.

[h/t Shutdown Corner]

Detroit Lions tackle Ndamukong Suh is no stranger to trading paycheck money for Blitz: The League 2-style necksnapping and ballpopping. The league fined him $7,500 for his hit on Jake Delhomme and 15K for his forearm strike (or “two-hand shiver”) to the back of Jay Cutler’s sad head.

Friday night’s game between the Lions and the Cincinnati Bengals happened, and Suh did not react kindly to Richie Cunningham in the pocket. Take a look for yourself.

The NFL hasn’t released any official statement on the hit or the fine, but Ndamukong’s Twitter update has given us an important clue. See if you can figure it out.

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In our continuing effort to share with you the best in sports-centric hip-hop, please enjoy the opening lines of “Niggas in Paris” from Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “Watch The Throne” collaboration. It is notable for two reasons: one, because it explicitly deals with New Jersey Nets minority owner Jay-Z’s visit to the Kentucky Wildcats lockeroom during the 2011 NCAA Tournament, a visit that violated NBA regulations and cost him 50-grand; two, because it is the best remake of a Joni Mitchell song ever.

Your lyrics of choice:

So I ball so hard motherf**kers want to fine me
First niggas got to find me
What’s 50 grand to a motherf**ker like me
Can you please remind me?

It seems weird that the NBA doesn’t have a mailing address for a guy who owns part of one of their teams, but there you go. In addition to “a bitch”, a $50,000 fine is not one of Jay-Z’s problems. Kanye backed up Jay by adding an “ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” to the last words at the ends of his sentences to fill up space, a move considered “genius” by everyone who heard it.

You can listen to the song below, if you’re one of those squares who doesn’t already have it. Please be advised that it contains harsh language and adult situations, and that every time they make me type “niggas” I’m pretending to type “guys”.

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It wasn’t LeBron, D-Wade or even Chris Bosh that hit the go-ahead three to nail down a win against Oklahoma City over the weekend. It was Eddie House, he of the 11-years’ and nine-different-teams’ worth of NBA experience, who celebrated his big shot with a tribute to Major League 2 that seemed totally appropriate for the occasion. When asked about the $25,000 fine from the NBA office the following day, House said he “was very surprised” but that doing the Big Balls Dance “was something within the game that I was going to be able to do.” Can we get a ruling on this, Trey Kirby?

Ah, yes, the classic “within the game” defense, which certainly applies to a celebration where you act like you have enormous testicles. Just like Dr. James Naismith included in his “13 Rules of Basketball.” No. 12, of course, reads like so: “If a player makes a big three-pointer, said player should and will be allowed to act as if he’s got gigantic stones. No fines shall be assessed for this action.” It’s a celebration as old as the game itself.

–Trey Kirby/The Score.

Of course, in Naismith’s day, the pantomime was performed much closer to the abdomen. Because the game was full of white folks back then, see. But I defer all questions on the NBA and testicles to Kirbz, who is an authority on such matters. Plus he bakes a mean chocolate almond biscotti.

Shaquielle O’Neal was fined $35,000 for his comments on the poor officiating from the Celtics’ 86-78 loss to Orlando on Christmas Day. When reached for comment, Shaq replied in a manner which made me really wish another Kazaam movie was in production.

I don’t even want to think about how awesome it would be to be able to laugh at losing 35 grand. Shaq has more money than most African countries, and I can’t think about myself never being able to amass that kind of a fortune without getting really depressed. I want deserve a private island staffed exclusively with sandwich-making supermodels, dammit. Video after the jump.

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The NFL made a stunning series of decisions regarding this Andre Johnson fight from yesterday. Both players reportedly will be punished equally, which is a surprise when one considers the reputation of the instigator–Tennessee cornerback Cortland Finnegan–and his overtly crass demonstration after his ejection from that game. But also, neither player will be suspended.

@Mortreport is reporting Andre Johnson and Cortland Finnegan each have been fined $25,000. Neither player will be suspended.

–@Adam_Schefter

That seems insanely low to me, and I openly question the logic of Merton Hanks and the guys making these decisions on the 17th floor at 280 Park. If you don’t want to suspend either guy during a division title run (especially with the Colts struggling in the AFC South), that’s fine. But how can you fine two different guys half of what you fined James Harrison, who was actually playing the game? Forget about the fight for a second; I don’t see how Finnegan’s antics after getting tossed didn’t warrant something extra from the 17th floor. Was that any better for the game than a defender trying to do his job? Considering Finnegan’s reputation, that might have been exactly what we were seeing.