The Oklahoma City Thunder are doing their best to fend off the red hot San Antonio Spurs for the No. 1 seed in the West as the playoffs approach, and they defeated the Milwaukee Bucks 109-89 last night. But the highlight of the game wasn’t Russell Westbrook’s 26 points or even that the Bucks gave out Andrew Bogut statues in what I’m declaring the most pathetic giveaway of the season. Instead it was the 7 technical fouls, the ejection of Larry Sanders and a little spat between Serge Ibaka and Mike Dunleavy.

Ibaka and Dunleavy were separated immediately, and judging by pictures, that was a very great thing for Dunleavy, because HOLY CRAP LOOK AT IBAKA’S HAND!

Let this be a lesson: If Serge Ibaka ever tries to shake your hand, RUN.

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As far as soccer fights go, this is obviously far from the top of the heap. Heck, it’s pretty far from the bottom of the heap, too. But the situation is still pretty amusing. Bear with us here.

Brooks Peck of the Dirty Tackle alerts us to this Brazilian soccer match between Campeonato Gaucho and Caixas. (As an aside, how awesome is it that there is a Brazilian soccer team called “Champion Cowboy?” No idea what “Caixas” translates to, but I’m just going to assume it means “Astronaut Panda.”)

The context here is that one of the Champion Cowboys, Douglas Silva, got into quite a tiff with fellow Champeen Broncbuster Walter Guglielmone. In response, Guglielmone shoved Silva right in his face. The rest of the Gaucho tried to intervene, but Guglielmone decided one push in the face wouldn’t suffice, so he gave him one more face-shove for good measure. The referee decided enough was enough, so he calmly walked Guglielmone to the edge of the pitch like a big boy, showed him the red card and sent him off.

Look, I know things are done differently in soccer, but if a guy can’t give his teammate a couple of bad-natured piesfacing once in a while then what is even the point of sports any more? That “don’t smush your teammate’s face” crud would never fly here in the States. U-S-A! U-S-A!

That doesn’t sound right.

During last week’s underwear confrontation between the Tampa Bay Breeze and the Cleveland Crush, Tampa Bay’s Julie Rolfe and got into a fight with Cleveland’s Tamar Fennell. I don’t follow the league closely and only infrequently update my LFL fantasy team (“Women Aren’t People”, Yahoo! champs two years running) but it played out a lot closer to a hockey fight than the goofy hair-pulling, pillow-fighting tiff suggested by the “Kicking And Scratching” part of the video title. Not sure why a league built on sensationalism would think a fistfight needed the “naughty” element, but whatever, I’m not the troglodyte-browed creep in charge.

Also funny is the announcers, who play the “penalize them and let them keep playing” card without ever coming out and saying how badly they’ll miss staring at those particular lady-asses.

Between the clandestine e-mails of intent and plans for a youth-oriented lingerie farm system, I’m started to get worried about where this is all going. When you started I thought you were going to be like the Bud Bowl. Now you’re like the strip club downtown where I feel like everybody’s getting abused.

Can’t someone of relative import step in and spraypaint “that’s enough, Lingerie Football League” on the wall?

[h/t Guyism]

Ames, Iowa parents are beating each other bloody over how often their 12-year old stands in at second shortstop. Who ya got?

Ames police arrested three people at North River Valley Park Sunday night following the championship softball game for 12-year-old girls competing in the Iowa Games.

The Centerville Hot Shots had just beat the Nevada Cubs when according to police a Centerville parent got in an argument with the team’s coach over playing time.

Officers said 32-year-old Angela Sales, of Centerville, punched coach Todd Sebolt. The coach is also accused of punching Sales. Sales sister, 19-year-old Stephany Summers, was also arrested for punching Sebolt’s wife.

I picked the one in the middle (“Sebolt”), but I honestly thought he was a lesbian. Now I feel bad for everyone at the game, because the guy who coaches a team of 12-year old girls is okay punching a woman. I wish the paragraph about who had punched who had kept going. Sales punched the coach. The coach is accused of punching Sales. Sales sister, Stephanie But Spelled Stupid, was arrested for punching the coach’s wife. The coach’s wife was arrested for punching Sales’ dog. The dog was arrested for urinating in public. Several pre-teen girls were arrested for punching a fire hydrant, and so on.

Video of the incident is below, but be warned, it is extremely graphic.

[h/t Off the Bench and my lifelong crush on Thora Birch]

Ladies, when you’re a big country music star, it’s not every day that your man decides to get into a little scrap at work, but that’s what happened. And the images of Underwood taken when that followed when Nashville Predators forward Mike Fisher threw down with Ryan Getzlaf of the Anaheim Ducks really tell a human story. No, that panda with the eyepatch is not part of the narrative. That’s just a little twist I put at the end. It’s better than the ending of Ocean’s 12, but that really isn’t saying much.

Via NESN.

When my paisano Vincenzo emailed me this video we wondered if I could turn it into something sports-related. Eventually I just said, “F*ck it” because I’m a rebel and I don’t play by the man’s rules. But if you really want to be a jerk about it, I’ll point out that schoolyard fights are one of this country’s most time-honored competitive traditions. And while nerdy celebrities continue to bring attention to bullying in our public schools, I think it’s high time that we told the bullies to meet us at the bike rack for a little ass kicking.

Take this kid, for instance, who found some Twitter fame yesterday under the nickname “Zangief’s Son” and “Kid Zangief”, an obvious nod to Street Fighter. It appears that Big Z here was the target of a tiny Napoleon’s wrath, and while pipsqueak got one good shot in, Z’s reaction is just downright priceless. According to Deadspin, his actual name is Casey and he’s been a constant target of bullying. Sadly, he ended up getting suspended for defending himself.

Casey’s big moment after the jump, as well as a special remix…

UPDATE: I fixed the video. Sorry, I’ve been out apologizing to all the fat kids I used to pick on.

UPDATE No. 2: Both kids were suspended for four days, according to MSNBC, but Casey’s family believes that he’s in for even worse treatment when he returns to school.

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