Some things are just naturally funny. “Drunk people who fall down so hard they look like they got dragged across the room by a giant vacuum” and “people who do bad karate to punching bags and end up hurting themselves” are two big ones, so this clip of a guy throwing some Muay Thai knees to a heavy bag and eating floor is pretty much amazing. He bobs his shoulders like a bad-ass (or something) and then gets yanked into the darkness like some Tony Jaa remake of Paranormal Activity. All it needed was somebody throwing up and it would’ve been the first two minutes of next week’s “Tosh.0″.

I also love that his name is “Geoff”, which is such an aborted spelling of “Jeff” that it makes him read like a Street Fighter character.

[h/t Buzzfeed]

Kimbo Slice made his professional boxing debut at Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Oklahoma, on Saturday night. Here’s everything you need to know about Kimbo’s life from birth until Saturday afternoon — he’s great at punching people to death, but because the world of mixed martial arts involves more than walking forward and punching, it didn’t really work out for him. Kimbo took some time off to heal up and train, and for his first opponent he chose James Wade, a guy who might as well have been a scarecrow with a piece of Wonderbread stapled to his face. Let me put it to you this way:

“James Wade is an American fighter out of Missouri, and he’s 0-1, but he doesn’t want to go 0-2. For Kimbo Slice it’s a great fight for his pro debut, it will give us time to assess where Kimbo is through his training, and how his learning curve has already begun,” Team Kimbo promotional advisor Jared Shaw said about the match-up.

“For James Wade this is his heavyweight championship, for Kimbo Slice this is his pro boxing debut.”

James Wade did not win the heavyweight championship.

Please enjoy all 17 seconds of Kimbo Slice vs. James Wade, with a little post-game wrap-up from the guy who still has his face.

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I’m not going to pretend to know the first thing about rugby. Back in college, I got super drunk with the women’s rugby team and that’s about the extent of my knowledge. I am, however, quite a fan of watching unnecessary sports violence, so I can declare with confidence that Northampton Saints wing Chris Ashton had his face rocked by Leicester’s Manu Tuilagi in a recent 11-3 Leicester win. Tuilagi received a yellow card for his aggression, but his punches at least marked the first time that the name Manu was associated with anything macho in sports.

Video after the jump, as well as some very special guest commentary on rugby.

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As much as I bag on hockey, I really do like the sport despite being a St. Louis Blues fan and constantly miserable. What I really love is a good hockey fight, especially when the refs just let it happen, and even more so when everyone is into it. Take the Dallas Stars, for example. When fights break out at the American Airlines Center, the music from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out plays over the speaker system. And things were no different on Wednesday night when Dallas’ Krys Barch got into it with Edmonton’s Zack Stortini.

Dallas ended up winning the game 3-1, as Brenden Morrow had two goals, but the real winner was my childhood. I think it’s imperative that we include more theme songs from classic video games into sporting events. We could play the Tetris theme every time Tony LaRussa makes a lineup change or the Super Mario Bros. music at San Antonio Spurs games because Manu Ginobli looks like a Koopa Troopa.

Video after the jump…

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Sports have given us so many great rivalries of blood lust over the years – the Yankees and Red Sox, the Maple Leafs and Canadiens, Ohio State and Michigan, Stone Cold and Triple H, Tiger and Elin – and now we can add the Toronto Rock and Buffalo Bandits. This video has made the rounds, but the Rock and Bandits played in a National Lacrosse League exhibition game a few weeks back, when orderly competition turned into a chaotic nightmare of bruised faces and bloodied Under Armour. Sorry, I’m also trying to pitch this as a 30 on 30.

The video finally popped up last week, but this isn’t the first time that the Rock and Bandits exchanged ill tidings and raised fists, as the teams brawled in a regular season matchup earlier this year. It’s a pity, because so many kids go to these games, aspiring to be professional lacrosse players. The fighting isn’t a pity, as much as these kids chasing a future of not getting paid.

Video of the recent skirmish, as well as some past NLL tussles and mishaps after the jump…

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I always love to say that I hate soccer and my defense is mostly that I can’t respect a sport in which athletes don’t use their hands, but in reality I’m just joking. Soccer is just really boring. But what I ultimately love about soccer – especially on foreign planets like South America and Europe – is the fiery passion that leads so many of the athletes to attack their opponents. What I love even more is when we find clips with no descriptions so I don’t have to pretend like I know what’s going on.

For instance, in a recent game in Brazil between two unnamed teams and featuring players that might as well not have names, a referee made a call that a player disagreed with. The player reacted inappropriately by grabbing the refs arm and the ref responded awesomely by slapping the player in the eye. Now we know that the consequence of an official attacking a player is both teams chasing him around the field while jump-kicking him. And I can readily admit that my description does no justice to the actual footage after the jump…

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