If you like crazy youth hockey fights, you’ll be happy to know that the “Russia” modifier adds the right amount of crazy. (h/t to My Sports Rumors)

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Music Video Breakdown: ‘Sexy People (The FIAT Song)’ By Arianna ft. Pitbull |UPROXX|

Pop-Pop Gets A Treat? Visiting The ‘Arrested Development’ Bluth Banana Stand In New York |Warming Glow|

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NFL Analyst Power Rankings (Official) #10- Mike and Mike |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Here are Swiss Eishockey’s Alain Berger and Sebastien Schilt getting into a fight and leaving the gloves ON, which I hope is the start of a great new trend in hockey. Up next, somebody wins a fight by putting a sweater on their opponent and standing them up straight. Love it. (via SportsGrid)

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‘SNL’ Recap: Melissa McCarthy And Phoenix (And Peter Dinklage) |Warming Glow|

INTERVIEW: Place Beyond the Pines director Derek Cianfrance: “Ryan Gosling is magic.” |Film Drunk|

How Many Grammys Will Ray J’s Kim Kardashian Ballad, ‘I Hit It First,’ Win? |UPROXX|

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Console Wars Over: Xbox Makes You Great At Sex |Gamma Squad|

Congrats to Science for Discovering New, Terrifyingly Huge Tarantula |Smoking Section|

NFL Players as Superheroes, round 2 |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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I’ve cued up this YouTube clip to the 1:30 mark so you can see a large (assumedly drunk) lady going HAM on a skinny (assumedly drunk) lady in the stands at an Atlanta Hawks game. It’s got everything you’d want from a fan fight … admonishment from security, forced toplessness and a cameraman turning into one of the hyenas from The Lion King. HOO HOO HOOOO HOO HOO HOOOOOO

That first minute-thirty doesn’t explain a lot, either. We have no idea why these ladies were fighting. Those initial 90 seconds are very calm, so much so that the cameraman decides to film a child cheering and almost misses the fight. The eye before the storm, I guess.

Two lessons we can learn here:

1. Don’t be the type of person who gets into fights in stands at basketball games, and
2. If you ARE this kind of person, wear a thicker shirt.

[h/t Bob's Blitz]

If that Team MMA concept ever gets off the ground, the Rockford IceHogs should be the first to sign up.

I mean, we’ve already seen them don a bunch of pink sweaters and throw hands at the Grand Rapids Griffins, so it should be no surprise to see them drag an opposing player onto their bench and try to beat the shit out of him. I’ll let you watch the clip and decide who YOU think is responsible for a BENCHFIGHT~, but I’m gonna site precedent and go with the Hogs.

Video is below.

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The 2013 Major League Baseball season hasn’t even started yet, but it has its work cut out for it, thanks to the World Baseball Classic. Last Saturday, Canada and Mexico faced off in a first round game of the D pool at Chase Field in Phoenix, and Canada’s merry band of hosers walked away with a 10-3 victory. No big deal, right? Wrong.

In the 9th inning of the game, with Canada up 9-3, Mexico’s pitcher Arnold Leon didn’t quite care that his allies to the north were paying attention to the WBC rules and trying to put up as many runs as possible. Instead, Leon pitched inside on Rene Tosoni, which drew a warning from the umpire, and Leon followed that up by drilling Tosoni in the middle of his back. What resulted was a bench-clearing brawl that would have made the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox blush.

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Look at these two hockey bros. They’re everything that’s wrong with men today. They have a clear, open opportunity to beat each other’s faces into the cold, hard ice and they just spin around in circles like a couple of toothless dreidels. Their teammates should have just surrounded them and started snapping and hissing before they all broke out into song.

Whatever, this won’t ever happen in my new sport, Fight Ball. It’s like hockey but with no ice, sticks, pucks, clocks, referees, goals or gloves. It’s actually just two teams of five men fighting until only one person is left standing. That dude’s team wins. Oh, but then he gets fed to a shark. Anyway, tryouts are next week.

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