A few weeks ago, I brought you the very strange and highly unbelievable news that champion Irish boxing brothers, Paddy and Paul Hyland, had agreed to become the first fighters under the brand new flag of Team Snooki Boxing. Sure enough, the brothers were introduced yesterday by the “Jersey Shore” star herself at McFadden’s Saloon in New York City. Of course it was at an Irish pub. Twenty bucks says she also greeted them each with a potato and told them if they behaved she would find them some work on the docks.

Also on hand was Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s father, Andy, who single-handedly destroyed my theory that there was no way this girl had a father who wasn’t living in a mental institution. In all sincere honesty, I tip my cap to Mr. Polizzi for being so supportive, because his daughter is the living, breathing proof of why I’m terrified to one day have a daughter.

Sure, she’s worth millions and she – unlike her castmates – has surrounded herself with smart people who have helped make sure she handles her money properly, and from that she’s building quite the empire for herself. But it’s how she got to where she is – she’s every father’s worst nightmare. Judging by that picture, I’d guess Andy was in his 50s. Judging by his daughter’s reputation, I’d guess he was 30.

Read the rest of this entry »

I really wanted an air hockey table for Christmas, but I guess Santa heard about that incident behind the gentlemen's club. Anyway, here's a video of some expert paddle skills: 

Ah, an alcoholic humiliating a child – that makes me nostalgic for the holidays of my youth. -KD  

While two posts down displays how the Japanese favor psychological torture of their little girls, this video shows that American adult males prefer physical contact to make their point:

"You plowed her, huh?" I don't know which lady is the mother, but that is some all-around awesome parenting. -KD