One of the weirdest running jokes in the world of professional wrestling is that legendary champion, Impact Wrestling General Manager and sex tape star Hulk Hogan has a thing for his daughter, Brooke. Most people came to this conclusion when pictures (like the one above) of Hulk thoroughly dousing her ass and ass-related areas with lotion showed up online. Then, he married a lady who looks exactly like her. Then they devoted two months of Impact TV time to Hogan desperately trying to keep his 24-year old daughter away from the clutches of BOYFRIENDS~. That ended with her trying to get married and her boobs falling out.

Anyway, the legend continues.

Over the weekend, the Hulkster took to his TWITTAH MACHINE to share a picture of Brooke. While that in itself is not creepy, the picture IS, and the caption makes it way, way worse.

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A few weeks ago, I brought you the very strange and highly unbelievable news that champion Irish boxing brothers, Paddy and Paul Hyland, had agreed to become the first fighters under the brand new flag of Team Snooki Boxing. Sure enough, the brothers were introduced yesterday by the “Jersey Shore” star herself at McFadden’s Saloon in New York City. Of course it was at an Irish pub. Twenty bucks says she also greeted them each with a potato and told them if they behaved she would find them some work on the docks.

Also on hand was Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s father, Andy, who single-handedly destroyed my theory that there was no way this girl had a father who wasn’t living in a mental institution. In all sincere honesty, I tip my cap to Mr. Polizzi for being so supportive, because his daughter is the living, breathing proof of why I’m terrified to one day have a daughter.

Sure, she’s worth millions and she – unlike her castmates – has surrounded herself with smart people who have helped make sure she handles her money properly, and from that she’s building quite the empire for herself. But it’s how she got to where she is – she’s every father’s worst nightmare. Judging by that picture, I’d guess Andy was in his 50s. Judging by his daughter’s reputation, I’d guess he was 30.

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I really wanted an air hockey table for Christmas, but I guess Santa heard about that incident behind the gentlemen's club. Anyway, here's a video of some expert paddle skills: 

Ah, an alcoholic humiliating a child – that makes me nostalgic for the holidays of my youth. -KD  

While two posts down displays how the Japanese favor psychological torture of their little girls, this video shows that American adult males prefer physical contact to make their point:

"You plowed her, huh?" I don't know which lady is the mother, but that is some all-around awesome parenting. -KD