An Arizona man named Kurt Havelock surrendered to police on Sunday and admitted to plotting a massacre at the Super Bowl as revenge against the Tempe City Council, which had denied him a liquor license when they learned of his intent to call the bar "Drunkenstein's."  He bought an AR-15 (a civilian version of the M-16) and wrote up an 8-page manifesto and everything.

In October, Havelock went before the City Council to seek support for a liquor license. But the council recommended denial after an Internet blog by Havelock stated the restaurant would be named "Drunkenstein's" and not "The Haunted Castle," as the application stated…

In the manifesto, he said the original site of the planned massacre was Phoenix's Desert Ridge Marketplace, which abuts Scottsdale, but that "scum and villainy" are in Scottsdale [Ed. Note: So Scottsdale is Mos Eisley?] and so instead he "will shed the blood of the innocent." … Havelock stated in his letter that he could not "outvote, outspend, outtax, or outincarcerate my enemies. But for a brief moment I can outgun them."

I was ready to make fun of this guy, but I admit, I kind of admire that last line about outgunning your enemies.  Still, one assault rifle does not a massacre make.  You figure he can't get in the Super Bowl with an M-16, so he'd have to shoot people outside, and the sight lines at University of Phoenix Stadium are poor, which means you can't maximize the weapon's standoff potential.  No, if you were looking to kill large numbers of people and create mass hysteria at the Super Bowl XLII, the better investment would be a series of pipe bombs around the stadium.

…is what I would say as a military professional making a risk assessment, ha ha.  I would never plan to kill a large number of YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME, PITTSBURGH!  Oops, ignore that typo.

[Fan IQ] 

Another award given out at the Victoria's Secret Super Bowl VIP suite last Saturday was Sexiest Newcomer, and the winner was an adorable little dog Blake Lively. (Did you know your last name is an adverb?)

I didn't really recognize her, but apparently this chick stars in Gossip Girl, which for all I know might be a good show, but I don't watch it because I'm grown man who drinks whiskey and punches things, not a teenage girl or an insipid talentless jobbernowl like The Big Lead. 

Still, nice tits.

We're well into Day Five of Patriots Imperfection, and the haterade is still flowing freely.  KSK has taken a shot at the protest petition by Pats fans of the final 1:40 of the Super Bowl, and SportsPickle's excellent take on the New England loss claims it was merely the most diabolical Belichick plan yet.

And this video is just kinda awesome because the guy does a solid Belichick impression, and I like the idea of Mutter McPursylips losing his mind at a press conference. (Fun fact: the actor is Whit Hertford, and you may remember him from Jurassic Park as the whiny kid who looks at the velociraptor skeleton and says, "That's not very scary. More like a six-foot turkey."  Now try to imagine Belichick saying that line.  Awesome, right?)

I watched an episode of The Hills a month or two ago, and all I could think was, "Really?  People watch this?"  It's just people wandering around LA in contrived, scripted situations and being bored.  I've seen infomercials that are more spontaneous.

Anyway, one thing I managed to get from the episode I watched is that LC isn't all that hot (she just wears lots of eye makeup and ties her hair up with a scarf), her friend Audrina is sexy as hell, and her enemy Heidi always looks crazy fug.  So I'm kinda confused as to why Audrina looks like crap here and Heidi's bangin'.  She got a nose job and breast implants, she's not a natural blonde, and those lips don't look 100% real either.  And she looks awesome.  So if there are any young, impressionable girls reading this site — and I hope there are — please take this lesson to heart: do anything to look pretty, because brains aren't important.  -Sincerely, MTV.

I feel like crap about having to take a personal day yesterday — you have no idea how hard it is to make bail when you don't have friends — so I've decided to make today Sexy Friday.  I rounded up a bunch of photos from Super Bowl events I had no prayer of getting into, and it will be a whole series of posts today.  I figure it's a nice way to bid adieu to the NFL season and another miserable week of your lives.

Anyway, first up is Marisa Miller at the SI party.  I think it's the SI party.  Does it really matter?  I say no.  There's a rule that any time a chick goes out and matches her shoes not to her dress but to her underwear, then it automatically doesn't matter where she is.  It's a subtle announcement that she plans to lose the dress but keep the shoes sometime later in the evening, and that.  Is.  AWESOME.

Also awesome: the fact that she's surrounded by Paunch and Fruity in these photos.  Holy hell, I'm not Brad Pitt, but I would be next to those clowns.  It looks like the forehead convention went clothes shopping at Sears.