He asked Domino’s if he could keep the ball, but they said “no”. The best part is either the terrified lady to his left who can’t enjoy what’s happened even after it’s done, or the slow reveal of the guy behind him with his fingers in his ears. (via Yardbarker)

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The Internet Vs. Hologram Tupac: The 20 Best Images, Photoshops, And GIFs Thus Far |UPROXX|

In Photos: The 2012 New York International Auto Show |Smoking Section|

Celebrating the Best New TV Character of the Season with Schmidt’s 25 Douchiest GIFs |Warming Glow|

Favorite Twitter Account Of The Day: Baseball’s Best Fans |With Leather|

Our 30 Favorite Cosplay Photos From PAX East 2012 |Gamma Squad|

Shia Labeouf’s comic book might be better than Michael Madsen’s poetry |Film Drunk|

The ‘Girls’ Internet Backlash Has Officially Started |UPROXX|

Meme Watch: Lawyer Dog Will Help You Navigate This Dog Eat Dog World |UPROXX|

Ri-Ri Goes Topless For Facebook Friends |Smoking Section|

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: Tom Cruise Climbs Michael Fassbender’s Amazing Bulk |Film Drunk|

Holy Crap, Rick Ankiel |With Leather|

Four Comics Miniseries You Should Be Reading Right Now |Gamma Squad|

Which of These Six Shows Would You Most Want to See on AMC? |Warming Glow|

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“I heard his mom screaming, looked back and blood was squirting out of his forehead,” said Mets second-basemen Justin Turner. “I felt sick to my stomach.”

That comment puts into perspective this video of a young boy getting his face rearranged by a Greg Dobbs line-drive. The shot happened top of the ninth inning of Monday’s game between the Mets and the Florida Marlins, and while most fan and ball interactions in the stands are funny (the Astros fan side-stepping a pop fly to let it hit his girlfriend) or facepalm-worthy (Steve Bartman, any whimpering little kids), this one is just unsettling. Thankfully we never get a clear look at the shot or the squirting blood, but what we can see is enough.

The boy got a bat as a souvenir, but chances are he’ll be carrying this frozen rope to the head with him for the rest of his life. Eventually we’re going to have to play baseball games in aquariums to keep people from getting hit, tripping down flights of stairs or falling to their death.

[h/t Ted Williams Head, by way of Jimmy Traina]

The video you’re about to watch spent most of yesterday afternoon being spread and shared around the Internet, and after so much of our coverage lately centering around spoiled kids and wretched adults who get what they want by bitching and complaining I wanted to put the spotlight on this — a nice adult and a grateful kid, and the way sports and fandom should work.

Boston Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett finished his warmup tosses before Thursday’s game against the Kansas City Royals and walked over to a young fan, presenting him with a baseball. The kid’s reaction should make you smile, no matter how much your jaded Internet heart wants to start photoshopping him into things.

The event became so popular so quickly that NESN invited the boy and his family into their studio to talk about it, and that’s where we learn the best part. The kid was at the park with his father and grandfather, and it was the first time the three generations of his family had been to a ballgame together. Argh, my heart. You can watch that video after the jump.

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If you haven’t seen this video, I’m not going to spoil it for you. Click play, watch it, then experience what is either the mute button or an NESN having a crisis of the soul during a Red Sox/Orioles game. The absolute best part is the deadpan video description:

Nick Markakis takes strike one.

He sure does. This video is part of what I can only assume will be a never-ending series of guys grabbing boobs in public, because if you’re sitting next to your girlfriend for more than twenty minutes, chances are you’re going to (or at least want to) touch her boobs. I don’t know why we’re wired like that, but we are. Maybe it’s our 21st century equivalent to marking our territory. At least we aren’t pissing on you, ladies!

I think the public boob grab can be all right as long as you don’t make a face like that one weird soccer fan and you keep it to a minimum. It helps if you make the NESN guys laugh so hard they have to mute themselves for two minutes. Somebody listening at home is wondering what the next pitch is probably going to be, but nope, they aren’t going to find out because those nice young couples enjoying a summer night at Fenway Park are sexually active. (spoiler alert: another sh**ty fastball)

[h/t Bob's Blitz]

I spent all morning trying to figure out whether or not I should write about this. We aren’t a Faces of Death website and my job description is basically “take anything that happens and make jokes about it on the Internet”. The only other way to take it is in the “my thoughts and prayers are with his family” direction, but if your thoughts and prayers are really with his family you wouldn’t be writing about it, or posting a video of it, or posting a comment about it after searching for and finding it on YouTube. Or would you? I spent all morning trying to figure this out. I spent my entire life trying to figure out how humanity works, and when I thought I had the answer, people changed the question. Mostly with cell phone cameras.

But anyway,

On Thursday, July 7, 2011 during a game between the Texas Rangers and Oakland A’s, Conor Jackson hit a foul ball which ricocheted off the left field wall. Fans yelled for Josh Hamilton to give them a souvenir ball. Josh threw the baseball up and a fan who has not been named fell over the railing to catch the ball. He tumbled and fell head first.

I go to a lot of baseball games, but I’ve never been that guy who brings his glove and shoves people over to catch a foul ball. At the same time, I can’t tell you with any honesty that when the Fun Bunch comes around with a t-shirt gun I’m not standing on my chair, waving my arms yelling OVER HERE, OVER HERE. It’s unsettling to think how easily this could’ve been me, with “me” as sort of an everyman qualifier meaning “if Josh Hamilton tossed me a ball, I would try to catch it no matter where I was standing”. Most of us would. It’s easy to say we wouldn’t.

And the writing starts to get maudlin.

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The Chicago Cubs are 16 games under .500 and lost both games of a doubleheader yesterday, but at least their fans have been solid in the field.

It happened in the ninth inning of San Francisco’s 13-7 victory in the first game of the day-night twofer: Miguel Tejada disproved all known logic and science by hitting a ball into the left field bleachers at Wrigley Field, and a young man (the literal antithesis of that Houston Astros jerk that let a foul ball hit his girlfriend) caught the homer with his bare hands and launched it back onto the field — so far, in fact, that it almost hit Tejada on his way around the bases and rolled into the Giants dugout. I don’t know who this kid is, but I know how his story ends: with an eephus pitch to “Butch” Heddo.

Watch the video here, courtesy of MLB.com, and ask yourself aloud whether or not Tony Campana could’ve made this throw.

The only way it would’ve been better is if the ball had clipped Tejada in the helmet on the way down and knocked him down. If you knock Tejada down, could he even get back up? Is he like a big turtle?

[h/t Big League Stew]