When Tributes To LeBron James Go Wrong

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.11.13

Last week, a group of students from California’s Woodcreek High School decided it would be a totally radical and boss idea to pay tribute to Miami Heat superstar LeBron James before their team’s big game against rival Roseville High. The tribute in question was James’ pregame ritual of tossing baby powder into the air, and that’s a fun ritual for James because he is one person tossing one little handful of powder.

You see, when a large group of people chooses to toss many handfuls of powder into the air, bad things can happen. For instance, people who are not expecting a large cloud of white powder to envelope them in a confined space could freak the f*ck out and start a human stampede that results in hundreds of terrified people trampling each other.

Fortunately, the result of this stupid tribute was just good, old-fashioned schadenfreude.

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Yep, That’s An Airbrushed Skip Bayless Shirt

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.29.12

There were a lot of heroes at last night’s NBA Draft in New Jersey, from the Boston Bros (BROSTON!) to the Knicks Bros to the ninja-like Heat Bros to this hilarious Brooklyn Nets kid and the awesome finger-wagging Knicks kid. We also got everything we expected, with New York Knicks fans booing everything, including their own draft pick, and David Stern going full WWE heel as the crowd booed him and the Heat mercilessly.

But if I had to pick a favorite thing about the draft, it’s probably the Knicks dude above, wearing an airbrushed tall T with a picture of Skip Bayless on it. He’s either the ultimate Bayless hater or the biggest ESPN fan on the planet. Either way, he proves that people who watch ESPN because they love sports or hate the network’s personalities are legitimately insane. I mean, who the hell makes an airbrushed Skip Bayless shirt?

*goes back to puffy-painting “I Love Samantha Steele” t-shirt*

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This Is The Best Miami Heat Celebration And Restaurant Commercial You’ll Ever See

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.25.12

The Miami Heat’s victory parade began today at 11 a.m., regardless of how much Tropical Storm Debby wants to trickle all over Florida, but for most people it’s merely a continuation of a party that started last Thursday night after the Heat won the NBA Finals in 5 games. But if it does rain today, Heat fans, remember that white gloves shrink and are a bitch to dry clean.

Over the weekend, between a slew of stupid Dwight Howard rumors and pictures of cats wearing funny hats, I noticed a video in my Twitter feed that claimed to honor the “Only in Miami” mantra, so I figured it was probably two dudes wearing mesh shirts and smoking cigars beating each other with machetes. Instead, it was actually a really nice tribute to Miami’s culture, with the Heat’s championship – and the restaurant La Carreta – set as the backdrop to deliver a small-town feel.

Pour yourself an espresso and enjoy.

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These Guys Love Devin Hester

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.18.11

As much as I profess to hate the sports-inspired rap offerings of guys like Chet Haze, I am a sucker for a corny, over-the-top musical tribute to professional athletes. Enter these Chicago Bears fans – led by Justin Butler in the middle – who recently recorded this ode to Devin Hester, “Hest is the Best.” Hest? I suppose it’s better than Gipple, Celeste, Kest, Loleola… Bovary!

Here’s a lyrical sample from Butler’s Bears anthem…

Hest is the best, meets the test, you know the man is blessed. You know he’s the man with the plan, he runs it back as fast as he can.

Man, I love the rhyming ease of clichéd sports lines. The song is now available on iTunes as well, in case you were looking for a ringtone that will be outdated after the Green Bay Packers win this weekend. Aw, I kid, Bears fans. I save my real hatred for the Cubs.

Bear down for the video after the jump…

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