Once upon a time, the more gullible of our ilk could watch television and believe LeBron James sinking full court shots, or Michael Vick having the power to throw a football out of a stadium. Those days are long gone, and all we’re left with is Toronto Raptors and Spanish national team star José Calderón sitting in front of a Kia, moving his arms as terrible-looking CGI basketballs make jokes.

It’s funny that YouTube commenters are already declaring FAKE~! on the clip, which is sorta like screaming FAKE in a movie theater when Catwoman shoots Bane with a motorcycle rocket. These Powerade-esque commercials are supposed to be a demonstration of something impossibly awesome, not of a bored guy on the set of a car commercial missing in shapes. They should’ve just showed some highlights, then drove a car onto the court with a big ALSO HERE IS A KIA across the screen. Anything would’ve been better than those yakkity-sax basketballs.

[h/t Ball Don't Lie]

"I'm going to Legoland!"

In case you missed it on Saturday, we had a few friends over for the UFC 145 Pay-Per-View, including UFC.com writer, blogger and fighter “Danny Boy” Downes and FilmDrunk daddy and MMA aficionado Vince “Spicy Meat-a-ball” Mancini. Of course we thank them for their time and contributions, as well as you commenters for making that one of the more enjoyable UFC pay-per-views in recent memory, so you can expect that we’ll be doing this – or something similar – again. As for the fights, here are the official results that caused so many of you to shake your meat hooks in rage:

Marcus Brimage d. Maximo Blanco – Split decision (28-29, 29-28, 30-27)
Chris Clements d. Keith Wisniewski – Split decision (28-29, 29-28, 30-27)
Mac Danzig d. Efrain Escudero – Unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 30-27)
Anthony Njokuani d. John Makdessi – Unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Matt Brown d. Stephen Thompson – Unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 30-27)
Travis Browne d. Chad Griggs – Submission
Eddie Yagin d. Mark Hominick – Split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
Michael McDonald d. Miguel Torres – KO (punches)
Ben Rothwell d. Brendan Schab – KO
Rory MacDonald d. Che Mills – TKO
Jon Jones d. Rashad Evans – Unanimous decision (49-46, 49-46, 50-45)

Of course, I was more pleased that Vince brought up Cecil Peoples – one of the most notoriously criticized officials in MMA history – and someone mentioned the Cecil Peoples action figure, because I had all but forgotten about a series of fake UFC toys created by a Sherdog forum user named Masato a few years ago.

They’re always worth sharing because the Steven Seagal action figure with its guitar/assault rifle should be real, dammit.

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