Even the Buffalo Bills ballboy fails spectacularly. The K on his shirt stands for “kan’t quite make it”. (via The Nosebleeds)

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Our 20 GIF Tribute To TV’s Most Adorable Redhead, ‘Doctor Who’s Karen Gillan |UPROXX|

Anthony Bourdain Continues To Not Be A Guy Fieri Fan |Warming Glow|

Princess Leia’s coke addiction preserved in Star Wars |Film Drunk|

Miss Bum Bum Brasil Looks Like The Greatest Pageant Of All-Time |With Leather|

6 Reasons It’s A Good Thing ‘The Hobbit’ Is Being Split Into Three Movies |Gamma Squad|

Competitive Kobe Bryant Nearly Beats Kid In One On One Game |Smoking Section|

25 Adult Jokes In Cartoons That You Never Understood As A Kid |Buzzfeed|

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This may be the ultimate rope swing fail. I like the part where he goes, “nnnnnnnnnnngggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. (via Bob’s Blitz)

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50 Cent Explains How To Stop Masturbating, In Four Simple Steps |UPROXX|

Nancy Grace Has Mastered Twitter |Warming Glow|

Today in Armond White: Why Crystal Skull is better than Raiders of the Lost Ark |Film Drunk|

Sports On TV: The Three Stooges’ 15 Greatest Sports Moments |With Leather|

But Wait, What About Her Superpowers? ‘Thor’ Actress Jaimie Alexander Suffers ‘Pretty Horrible Injury’ On Set |Gamma Squad|

Does Kreayshawn’s Failed Album Signify The Gimmick Rapper Bubble Bursting? |Smoking Section|

Of Course Hochuli Celebrated Going Back To Work With Pushups |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Nerlens Noel is a 6-foot-10 18-year old from Everett High School in Massachusetts, rated as the #1 player in the class of 2012 by ESPN, poised to be the heir apparent to Anthony Davis at the University of Kentucky. He was in the middle of an on-campus pick-up game against a bunch of kids as a thank you to all the people who’d camped out for tickets to the school’s Big Blue Madness event when he went up for a dunk. The picture you see above this paragraph is the exact moment when everyone in attendance goes from “YEAH DUNK IT” to “oh my god we’re all doomed”.

For whatever reason, Noel bricked the two-handed dunk and went straight to the ground on his back. It’s hard to say what was going through the minds of the Kentucky fans watching, but the phrase “wailing and gnashing of teeth” comes to mind. If he’s hurt, there go the national title hopes. Luckily for everyone, he was all right. Want to know why? Because a child broke his fall.

Now that you know everyone involved is ‘find’, check out the video of the dunk, after the jump.

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This f**king guy.

An Egyptian-born bodybuilder has just had his 31 inch biceps crowned the biggest in the world.

Moustafa Ismail, 24, has spent ten years pumping iron twice a day and his upper arms now have the same circumference as a grown man’s waist.

But despite his cartoon proportions he hates spinach. (via The Daily Mail UK)

Nice reporting, everybody.

So Moustafa Ismail has spent ten years pumping iron twice a day, and at no point during those 3,650-ish days did anybody go, “hey Moustafa, you should probably work out other parts of your body, you look like a couch potato with fat lady arms. No, the backwards cap doesn’t help”. Seriously, how does this guy pose for muscle photos with a straight face? His biceps have “the same circumference as a grown man’s waist”, right? What’s the talking point for his forearms? Here’s a picture of him holding up a model with his “super strength” (because lifting a 100 pound lady requires THE WORLD’S LARGEST BICEPS), and look, his forearms and hers are EXACTLY THE SAME:

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Yesterday we shared with you the story of a Kontinental Hockey League defenseman who accidentally got his carotid artery slashed when he fell to the ice and someone tried to jump over his neck with blades on their feet. Today’s KHL clip (because the NHL is never coming back and we’ve got to talk about something) features a Dynamo Minsk goalie’s epic fail, and proves that KHL hockey beheadings can be figurative as well as literal.

From the YouTube description:

С вратарями случаются голы из средней зоны, но в этом эпизоде Денис Хлыстов даже не бросал по воротам

If you can’t read that, it says, “Goalie Kevin Lalande gives up a goal on a shot from the neutral zone that was barely a shot at all, and oh my God you guys, seriously, I could’ve waddled out there without skates or pads and stopped that shot”. I’m paraphrasing.

Puck Daddy has further analysis:

So, yeah … KHL goaltending. We don’t want to say it’s slightly inferior, but a quick FYI to any NHL players thinking about heading there during the lockout: Sergei Mozyakin is the League’s all-time goals leader with 109.

Personally, I’m looking forward to an entire season of wacky KHL news. I’ve already ordered my favorite team’s jersey! It’s a potato sack with the word HOCKY [sic] written across the front in blue ink pen. It represents every team.

As I perused the sports news this morning, I noticed a few things. For starters, a bunch of running backs had awesome games, which sucks for a guy like me who wants to sell high on Kevin Smith and Alfred Morris. Second, Jon Hamm is still my favorite St. Louis Cardinals fan and he’s packing heat. Third, Rihanna apparently performed at the closing ceremony of the 2012 Paralympics in London and she got a massive tattoo under her boobies. Needless to say, a lot of stuff happened.

But my two favorite moments of NFL Sunday came as a result of someone else’s misfortune, and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from my friends with kids, it’s that I love watching people fall down or be humiliated. In the case of Cleveland Browns quarterback Brandon Weeden, well, he probably wishes that he stayed in bed yesterday.

As you can see in the above GIF (via) and the video below, the rookie QB got off to a rough start during the pregame ceremony as Weeden was almost trampled by soldiers carrying the giant American flag across the field.

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