I’m sure there’s other sports stuff going on, like that one legendary basketball player who got hurt or that expensive baseball pitcher who was beat up, but I’m a simple kind of fella and I can’t help but stop and point when I see something that’s reaaaaaaaaally stupid. And nothing tickles my fancy more than when people fall for fake Onion headlines.

In this case, the Onion article in question was “Jerry Sandusky Horrified By Behavior Of Rutgers Basketball Coach” from April 3, and as you can see nobody reads anything but headlines anymore. I could try to write the most eloquent and thought-provoking piece ever written by man (key word is try, folks) and it could very well win every literary and journalistic prize in existence, but if I used a headline like “Doo doo smoothies 2-for-1 at IKEA cafeteria leads to pope’s resignation” at least 5 people would comment something like, “F*ck you, Obama!”

In conclusion, this is still the best thing ever produced by the Onion.

(H/T to Literally Unbelievable)

An elaborate scheme to teach high school baseball players the value of not sending nude pictures to strangers, or a horrible man’s attempt to see kid dicks? YOU decide!

Actually, sorry, you don’t have to decide. The horrible dicks one.

Irvine police have arrested a high school baseball coach suspected of posing as a female on Facebook and convincing underage boys to send him sexual pictures of themselves.

Zachary Reeder, 30, of Orange set up a fake profile using a photo of a blonde female, police said, and used the social networking site to form relationships with his victims.

Reeder was arrested Saturday on suspicion of lewd conduct with a child, possession and distribution of child pornography, and child annoyance. (via Daily Pilot)

The worst part about the Manti Te’o story making “Catfishing” a household word is that a bunch of the less-clever perverts found out and went, “wow, I’m gonna try that!” So now women are being lured into jewel heists or whatever and local reporters are getting Catfished on Facebook for money. I wish we could go back in time to 2009, when the only way we had to address people with imaginary internet relationships was “stop being stupid.”

A video report of the story is after the jump. Enjoy*.

*”Enjoy” is probably not the right word.

Read the rest of this entry »

Sandwiched between Gangnam Style parodies on The Daily What is the inspirational story of high school goalkeeper Daniel Cui, a kid who turned soccer futility into 10th grade popularity, and eventually into an advertisement about how Facebook changes peoples’ lives.

After freshman goalie Daniel Cui became the scapegoat for a losing season, the whole high school rallied to defend him. More than 100 students changed their profile pictures to a photo of Cui making a save and with newfound confidence, Cui returned the next season to play the game of his life and lead his team to a win.

An outpouring of support on social media isn’t exactly a bunch of kids helping a kid with spastic CP conquer Field Day or anything, but it’s heartwarming as hell, and a step in the right direction for everybody. And sure, it could be a pure marketing campaign and as legit as those FACEBOOK’S GONNA START CHARGING YOU IN NOVEMBER, CLICK HERE TO LEARN HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF chain letters, but I like to think we live in a world where seemingly-isnignificant but personally-amazing stuff like this happens on the reg.

I also hope this predates Linsanity, because I don’t want this poor kid walking into 11th grade wearing an ExCUIsite! t-shirt.

If Anderson Silva finally getting mad and threatening to break every bone and tooth in Chael Sonnen’s body didn’t get you excited for Silva vs. Sonnen II at UFC 148 next month, maybe THE SILVER SPIDER VS. THE AMERICAN GANGSTA will.

That’s the comic series UFC is using to promote their next event, with a new panel showing up every day on Facebook. If you’re like most people your first reaction will be, “why didn’t they call him the ‘Silva’ spider and put the hard ER on the end of ‘gansta’? Would Chael Sonnen call himself a ‘gangsta’?” Your second reaction will be to scroll down a little and laugh out loud at Steven Seagal’s cameo.

They’re updating the comic every day until July 7, so check out what we’ve got so far. Keeping my fingers crossed for a Booster Gold crossover at some point.

Read the rest of this entry »

Major League Baseball can’t figure out what to do about steroids, the way their division are aligned, the way their playoffs are structured or declining attendance, but they can fix what’s important: according to MLB.com, league has announced that they will set up computer stations next to team clubhouses that will allow players to use Twitter and Facebook during the 2012 All-Star Game. So if you were wondering how you’d get through 4-7 hours of Josh Hamilton not immediately telling you what he thinks of the Wreck-It Ralph teaser trailer or throwing in on the latest #thingsblackpeoplesay trend, your concerns have been addressed.

The pitch, from NESN:

After the success of last year’s “Social Media Derby,” where players were allowed to tweet during the Home Run Derby, the league decided to expand its social media offerings to the actual All-Star Game as well.

“At its core, baseball is a social activity, so it’s natural that social media has become such a huge part of how fans enjoy the game today,” said Tim Brosnan, a MLB executive. “This initiative will bring fans closer than ever to their favorite players, resulting in what will no doubt be the most ‘social’ events in baseball history.”

Shorter version: Now ESPN won’t show you clips of players sitting on the field with their kids, they’ll show them standing at a computer kiosk and you can go to @therealmiketrout or whatever and read “having fun with my kids!”. Solid improvement, guys.

I’m more interested in the running tweet commentary for the players who didn’t make the All-Star Game. Can we get Tim Brosnan to set up an Internet cafe in Nyjer Morgan’s living room?

They should play this on SportsCenter and have Michael Ian Black and Mo Rocca just say sarcastic sh*t about it the whole time. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

This Week in Posters and Stills: Rock of Ages still looks awful |Film Drunk|

10 Events That Should Be Added To The 2012 Summer Olympics |Smoking Section|

Snoop Gets Technical: Snoop Dogg Helps Explain The Tupac Hologram And Other Mysteries Of Science |UPROXX|

The Dugout Opening Days ’12: Minnesota Twins |With Leather|

An Exploration Of The Idris Elba Face |Warming Glow|

Val Kilmer Expounds On How ‘Batman Forever’ Went Wrong |Gamma Squad|

Writer Of ‘Girls’ Not Happy About Criticism Of ‘Girls’ |UPROXX|

Nick Offerman Reads Tweets From Young Female Celebrities, Makes Anything Seem Manly |UPROXX|

On Derrick Rose, Eminem And The Price Of Fame |Smoking Section|

LISTEN: Mel Gibson drops another single |Film Drunk|

Brooklyn Decker Takes Off Her Clothes For GQ, Would Totally Do Gisele |With Leather|

Five Reasons Why Found Footage Movies Mostly Don’t Work |Gamma Squad|

Tupac Shakur Discovered Omar Little |Warming Glow|

Read the rest of this entry »