Without the stars, of course.
Today’s been an emotional one at Fenway Park. The Boston Bruins-style “everybody sings our national anthem in unison” moment has officially become a Boston staple. Pat-down lines were endless. Tears were non-stop. At the perfect moment, David Ortiz dropped the mother of all f-bombs, and baseball helped do what it always does: makes us feel better about the stupid shit in our lives that isn’t baseball.
She’s just here to cause trouble.
That’s the entire YouTube description for this clip of an overly-excited Texas Rangers fan with a spectacular haircut who tells DFW sports reporter Jim Knox about how it’s her mom’s birthday, and also that she’s HERE TO F**KIN’ CAUSE TROUBLE. Knox takes the f-bomb like a pro, going right into (and I’m paraphrasing, here) “she looks like trouble, now let’s take a few steps to my right and talk to somebody who isn’t gonna straighten out their faux-hawk and yell curse words into my microphone”. It’s Local Emmy worthy.
In a related note, hey lady, ‘sup. Call me.
[h/t to Deadspin]
Since there’s no artsy gallery of riot photos from downtown Los Angeles this morning, we’ve got the next best thing: players dropping f-bombs in live post-game interviews.
By way of Larry Brown Sports comes Kings captain Dustin Brown being asked if the ever thought the team would win it all following their 6-1 championship victory over the Devils in game 6. His response, which is sure to be on Kings-related merch from now until the end of time, boiled down to F**K YEAH I DID.
As great as that is (and congratulations to the Kings … I can’t wait to start cheering for the Caps again when the 2012-13 NHL season starts up next week), it got me thinking of the greatest f-yeah-bomb ever dropped in a postseason celebration: Chase Utley’s WORLD CHAMPIONS~ in the 2008 World Series victory parade in Philadelphia:
Mike Zimmer is a sentimental favorite in Cincinnati. He sadly lost his wife to cancer last season and the team rallied around him. His defense last season helped push the Bengals to the AFC North title, and he’s near-universally praised as a good coach and a good guy. Just don’t ask him about Bobby Petrino, who now runs Arkansas’s football program in the SEC. Zimmer was on Petrino’s staff during his very short run with the Atlanta Falcons, a job that Petrino famously left without so much as notifying any of his assistants.
“He’s a gutless bastard. Quote that. I don’t give a s—,” Zimmer said Wednesday, according to Joe Reedy of the Cincinnati Enquirer.
When Zimmer was told that [a] responsible news organization may not be able to use “bastard,” Zimmer responded:
“How about this, gutless MF. You can use that.” via PFT.
I can’t help but admire a man that doesn’t mince words, but honestly, what sort of company out there is shying away from the word “bastard?” It’s not like kids are even reading news sites these days anyway. They’re all snorting cough syrup and reading Harry Potter books watching Harry Potter movies. They’re all bastards. Believe it or not I’m really good with kids. I was VP of personnel when I worked out of the Nike “office” in Indonesia.
I really think that if Broncos coach Josh McDaniels was a few years younger, he never would have gone into coaching football, but instead would have spent his formative years in a college computer lab, learning HTML while fiddling with his GeoCities site (uh, not speaking from experience or anything). Because his mastery of the F word is terrific. And if you’re curious about McDaniels’ abilities at winning motherfugging games, his Broncos had lost four straight before finally righting the ship last night, beating the Giants, 26-6. The Giants, apparently, were content to lose this motherfugging game; New York now have dropped five of their last six. Tip of the unbuckled belt to Last Angry Fan.
There were no big shockers in the two other NFL games from Gobble Gobble Day: Green Bay threw for 348 yards while blowing out Detroit and Oakland got stomped by the Cowboys. Pat yourself on the back if you started Donald Driver (142 yards receiving, 1 TD) or Miles Austin (145, 1 TD) in fantasy this week. And if you didn’t, well, maybe a cold turkey sandwich will make you feel better. Because there’s nothing better on the day after eating a metric ton of turkey…than more turkey.
